question for adults about peoples interperetations of you

Post Reply New Topic

ok so i've noticed that subconciously i feel more...threatened (for the lack of a better term) by people with strange body language. i know this is a stupid thing to say seeing as this is an autism site (and i have AS) but it seems like thats how a lot of people work, they judge someone as a "harmfull creep" because of their body language, like twitching or looking at the floor, which is asociated with AS. its kind of like how most spiders, even large ones, arent generaly harmfull to humans, but we have phobias of them anyway because of how they look.

anyway i'll get to the point. i wanted to know if you're labled "creepy" or even "dangerous" by others who misunderstand you, even if you're just sitting on a bus, persay.
ive had this hapen to me in school sometimes, like i can just be walking past someone and they'll make a comment and say "this boy'sa silent killer" or if someone i dont know at all touches me suddenly on purpose, i'll jerk back a bit because of my tactile sensitivity and they'll say "woah, dont kill me ok?" not even as a joke or anything.

i just wish people would be more sensitive about what they say. sometimes these things leave me wondering "am i insane or something" and i'd go into about four weeks, maybe a month of angry depression.

although this kind of thing doesnt happen at all now, my body language use has improved quite a bit as i've grew up and people are generaly freindly to me as well, and not in the kind of way where you're always wondering "does this guy care about me or am i just a counterfit-human-being to him?"

as you can see, i end up rambling a bit before really getting to the point(which of course may be linked to my AS) , and even though a lot of that was relavant but anyways my main question is has this kind of thing continued for you people in the long run after education? im talking in terms of about into your late 20's - early 30's

your experiences would be appreciated, thanks

I don't recall anyone ever treating me as though they thought I were 'crazy' or dangerous. I've been told I was weird all my life, but not usually in a negative way and I don't mind that because I'd rather be weird than normal and boring. Far more frequently than being openly rejected, I have been simply ignored as if I weren't there.

Internally, on the other hand, I did often feel alienated and disconnected from humans in general.

I agree. Non standard body language can be frightening. People fear what they don't understand.

I have run into people being more uncomfortable with my body language and my actions than finding me dangerous or as a "creep".

Probably due to this I often feel at the pheripry of things. People will say that I am a nice, intelligent fellow, but will not include me in things, and in some ways kind of ignore me.

I'm known around town, as "The Little Langley Mod". I love it.

This describes my experience except for once someone I worked with speculated I might "go postal" because I was so quiet amid the madness of a college bar.

I've been called weird and nerd to my face . . . my problem is that i could never understand what urge made them say it, or state the obvious (the latter seems to be a common NT trait. Heh, reminds me of one of Bill Engvall's stand up skits).

While I don't think anyone's labelled me as a potential serial killer, people do seem creeped out by me sometimes, especially men and children. Women generally tend to pity me. I think my childlike nature invokes their maternal instincts or something. It's funny because in junior high, the girls had nothing to do with me and all of my friends were boys.

I definitely am considered a creep or dangerous to people. I wear a heavy jacket with the hood up at all times when I'm out and always look at the floor when walking. I very rarely hear any comments from anyone though.

This is not necessarily a bad thing (when you consider the alternative), but people seem to want to protect me. They think I'm a lot less worldly than I am. When I was in high school my sexually active friends would make me leave the room when they wanted to talk about it. They wouldn't even tell a dirty joke in front of me. Now, women 20 years younger call me sweetheart and honey. I'm female, if you didn't know. When I drank and someone would give me a ride home (and that's all it was), the guy would tell me later that everyone would give him dirty looks as we left. It's amazing what people will project onto you when you don't talk very often.

still undiagnosed so far...though I did show my psych the aspie vs NT test that does a little graph. And I do meet the diagnosis criteria, though I am hoping to have the diagnosis by our next visit (did some blood tests a few weeks ago to rule anything blood related out)

anyways...people were always scared of me in high school because I am a big guy and don't talk a lot. (5' 10&1/2" 210lb- like a football player build+ my strange walk, speech and body language). I didn't really know that people were scared of me (Though I had wondered) until after I graduated and I met various people that had gone to my high school and after they get to know me they tell me about how they were scared of me in high school.

fast forward to now...high school was 3 years ago, working full time for the summer and maybe for a while after though hopefully not at this job. And now I’ve already had a lady ask me if I was on the autistic spectrum because her son is on the spectrum and said I am just like him (though he is only 6) and now I can see the same kinds of reactions from people that I had in high school but missing something now. Seems to me I am no longer seen as scary, but now just weird or dumb. I think this is because people are older here and the climate is totally different then that of high school. Well actually it's exactly like high school except a Nazi version chalk full of rules (Not to say high school wasn't but this place is unbelievable) and if you step out of line you will be executed or the closest thing they can legally come to that which is to fire you. (There is this door in one of the hallways covered with pictures and posters of the north Korean dictator kim jong il which I am thinking of complaining about because I find it offensive though I believe it is meant to be comedic or it might be related to the decorations added to celebrate the soccer cup going on or a combination of both) Also there is 2 black panther type propaganda books in the "library" at my work which I find offensive as well because there is only about 6 or 7 books in the room.....

Well..sorry to go off on some tangents...but hopefully they add something helpful to the topic.

ops ops ops

Last edited by liveandletdie on 27 Jun 2010, 1:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

i have women who get that same reaction to me, but seems to me it is mostly because they think that I am dumb due to me speaking slow because I have to think before I speak but I could be wrong. =/

also my friends have always been guys, but that hasn't really changed though I am young. (just because I grew up with two brothers and I have a really hard time understanding women and relating to them)

I get this reaction a lot. Especially because I am a black guy who's kinda big, and I am very hairy too. people think I'm older than I am. I remember some white woman dropped her purse and she was in front of me in line, and she quickly got her purse and gave me a dirty look. My mom had a fuss about it. Another time I was ordering and burger and a woman offered me money because she thought I was homeless, she was white too. Not to be racist but I only get these weird or scary reactions from white children and women. White females tend to fear men in general, especially black men, unless they know them. I don;t get this reaction from black females, but there are also white females who have approached me before and wasnt scared, its just that from my experiences white females are the ones who hold the most fear towards me and men period. call me racist, but its just experiences.

might I add that I also fear white women and white children to a certain extent because of these past reactions. I have a sort of distrust for them, until I get to know them. Because in reality I'm the most vulnerable person in these situations because my actions or body language may be taken the wrong way and it can mean jail time.