A friend nagging at me over the phone

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Last night, I got a call from a friend who is not on the spectrum and have a brain injury and eye sight growing dim. We went out to eat the day after the 4th of July and then we went to a store where they sell office supplies to look at computers and then I told him that I was going to go off on my own. He left and I spent the rest of the evening poking around at the store and not feeling well and didn't care too much to be around anyone after dinner. So, he called me over the phone last night and told me that my behavior was inappropriate by telling me that normally people get together, go everywhere together, and then leave together. He was also mad that I didn't help him cross the street due to his lack of eye sight.

How should I approach this in the future if he calls me and nags at me again?

I hate to say it, but I think he has a point. He sounds as if he's more hurt than nagging (though I havent heard the words he used- maybe he was)

I wonder if he's upset because, with both bad eyesight and AS, it must be quite arduous getting about in public areas. This meeting may have been quite a big deal to him. You suddenly announcing you were leaving, out of the blue, may have seemed a bit of an anticlimax and suddenly he's left stranded in a public area (in his mind(. Perhaps next time, you could say in advance that you need to leave at such and such a time, so he can be prepared mentally for it.

When you said you were going off on your own, I know why you would want to do that (I don't like shopping with people right beside me either, with very few exceptions), but some people do see it as a social activity and that may be why he followed you to the store in the first place. If you prefer to shop alone, then maybe this isn't a great place to go when meeting up with a friend next time, or you should make it very clear at the end of the meal that you're heading off to pick up some stuff (i.e it's an errand not a social activity). Excuses are a good idea in situations like this, where the truth (I want to shop, but not with you) can be a bit hurtful.

About crossing the road though, I think he should have reminded you about his eyesight at the time- it's an easy thing for people with good vision to forget- but yeah, helping him cross the road would have been nice. He shouldn't demand it though or expect it automatically.

In that instance, I would say sorry for not helping him but say that you forgot. Ask him to remind you next time about his sight and if he needs assistance to ask for it and you will be happy to help (I presume you would be?)

I did apologize to my friend but I really think he was calling me to hit on me since he is lonely and doesn't have a girlfriend. He does not have AS and has a brain injury and the eye sight issues. He is also in his mid 50's and I am in my 20's but he likes to hit on women at that age. He had not only also called me a week later about me ditching him but he also asked me for his roommate's phone number who also happens to be a friend of mine and is on the spectrum and he has lived with him for about 4 years.

Actually I think you owe your friend an apology because you were rude.

It is true that NT's have this unspoken rule that when you go out with a friend, you are to stay with them until you reach a proper departure point. This may be a place or time.

For example, if you picked your friend up at their house, you would usually return them to their house.

If two people met at a coffee shop and decided to then go elsewhere, and one of you had parked at or near the coffee shop, you would walk back together.

If two people met at a coffee shop, one took the bus, and another arrived there on foot, and then went elsewhere, the one who arrived on foot would usually accompany the other to the bus stop, or a point of departure at which their paths would naturally diverge.

I occasionally meet someone at a coffee shop and we both walk from different directions. After we are done with our beverages and done talking, one of us usually asks the other where they are heading. We are frequently just heading back to our respective houses in the opposite direction so we say our farewells at the coffee shop.

On occasion, one of us might be heading somewhere in the direction of the other's house, so we would accompany eachother until our paths diverge.

But you just left your friend "hanging" and likely made him feel like you do not value his friendship.

So be very profuse in your apology and explain you value his friendship and did not realize you had departed inappropriately.