how to get a girlfriend

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Ok heres my plan for you out there,

First off if your under 20 and still in high school and your autistic, you are not in the money. You are competing against NTs, and as you may know about the NTs, they can be very athletic, and social which is KEY.

What you have to do is find a girl who is not in the social mix, who is on the sidelines more then the pom pom cheer leaders, tell her you want to to study with her then goto a movie with her flat out. If she rejects you, ask her again next week,

For older men, get comfortable with escorts, loose your virginity, this will make things alot better for you and your inhibitions,
goto a bar, sit on a stool and order a bud light, u dont want to get drunk now, start chit chatting with women, by saying gentle things like i like ur dress, or tell her a snappy joke like

"this bartander dosent know what shes doing"

this will help you.

God Bless.

this belongs in the love and love making section

That sounds great if you just want a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend. I'd prefer to find someone whom I liked.

the OP is completely right about how to go about it. i still havent had one my whole life and i just graduated high school

I was following you until this point. This is generally a bad idea and I fear young people with AS may take this advice truly to heart and get themselves into trouble.

I don't agree with seeing an escort on principle, but this is a bit of a tricky subject which has already been comprehensively dealt with on many sides here. In short, I don't feel comfortable having sex with someone who might hate me, and I fear that it may become a habit in the absence of anything else.

As a woman, nearly all of this seems shaky at best.

I'll accept this, in general. I didn't date much at *all* in HS, mostly because I wasn't interested. My social skills were also much less developed in HS than they are now. Ergo, I can't really speak to what girls go for at that age. This seems to be accurate, if the dating scene is on the shallow side, which does kinda make sense for HS.



Kudos to this. I think this is good advice. You might do better to start by making a regular event of studying together first, then (after at least 5-10 study sessions, where you genuinely study together) ask if she wants to go to a movie, or dinner, or whatever after the study session.



RED ALERT! You can do this once. DON'T make a habit of it. Don't ask the same girl more than 2-3 times a year, and it's better to wait more than a week before asking a second time. Also, if you try a second girl, you don't want to ask again even that often. You don't want to get a reputation as the guy who always asks girls out and gets rejected. Also key to this is to talk to the girls about other things. Make sure that you approach her just to chat at least twice as often as you approach her to ask her out. It's ok for your first interaction with her to be to ask her out, but then you should chat a few times before you try to ask her out again.

The bottom line is that, no matter how polite you are about it, asking girls out regularly is creepy. Period.



If confidence is an issue for you, and this will help, then sure. But I don't think every man needs to do this.




Bars are good places to find sex... but it takes a lot of smoothness to accomplish that. You can find a relationship with less social smoothness needed, but typically not at a bar. Women almost never go to bars when they're looking for relationships.

Much better is to find social groups you can fit into, but if you really must go to a venue to meet potential dates, try coffee shops instead.



That's a snappy joke?? If you're looking for a woman who will be kind and forgiving (better for aspies, since you need her to be forgiving of your social bobbles), you're not going to impress her by putting someone else down. Telling relevant jokes would be a good icebreaker, but try something that's more... humorous.

Also critical is to know what you're looking for. As I pointed out a few places, there's a difference between looking for a sex partner and looking for a long term relationship. There's nothing wrong with looking for either one, but do know what you're looking for, as the way you go about finding it will be different depending on what you want.

Honestly, my opinion (which probably should be taken with a grain of salt, as I'm not an aspie male, and married an NT) is that online dating is the best place for aspies to find dates. The reason for this is that you can have an NT friend look over your profile and look over any initial communications to make sure you're not putting your foot in your mouth, so that you at least make a good first impression. (Even if you don't have an NT friend willing to do this, you can still read over it a bunch of times and sanity check it, whereas in person, once it's said, there's no editing that will make it go away.)

The single biggest thing, though, no matter what you're looking for: friend, sex partner, or long term love, is to LEARN from your mistakes. You may not quite know where you went wrong, but you can make some educated guesses. Get back up and try again. Also, observe other people and see what they do differently than you do.

Good luck to all of you singles who want to find someone special! She (or he) is out there, somewhere!

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Every one out there. For your own safety. DO NOT do this. Before reading about 2-3 years ago i did exactly this and It did not turn out well... She hates me.