"Oh, that guy? He's scary..."

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I hate when I find out a woman thinks that about me. I first notice she looks away when I come by, or stares at the floor with this judgmental look. Then I find out through a friend that she's scared of me. Half the people in life are okay with me, half are scared. Hmmm....?

Can you think of anything you did that might have brought this about?

In any case, you can't please everyone. If you can't tell that you've done anything wrong, and neither can those close to you, at a certain point you just have to ignore it because it may be more her problem than yours.

So I'm told. Supposedly though I swore a lot, and mumbled under my breath. The mumbling part I'm guilty as charged, as I do so under stress. The swearing part? Everybody at that place swore like sailors, what's her problem?

Yeah, a lot of people aren't bright.

That's happened to me too. Supposedly, it's because I sometimes dress "oddly", whatever that means.

I have an oversized vest that I love. For some reason, wearing it was seen as unacceptable--I still don't know why.

I call it my "Marty McFly" vest.

Pretty much if a person is stuck up they will act like this if you don't have an air of social confidence but have the nerve to glance in their general direction.

What actually works for me is to start thinking about killing those people, I think the smug satisfaction that comes from plotting their demise in my mind gives me an air of confidence and makes me more approachable. This works because people are stupid.

I'll give it a try... okay, why does it work again?

Well, it works because if you're enjoying the thought of killing them you will feel smug and that will translate through your body language, too. It may make you smile, and this will look like confidence which a very important appearance to keep up in social situations. Someone who looks confident will attract people to them like a turd draws flies to it.

This actually works for me. If someone thinks I'm creepy I start thinking about killing them and then they stop thinking I am creepy because I seem confident. Though one warning, don't stare directly at them while imagining their death, that can still seem creepy.

Sounds like you're kidding, but I'll try it. Maybe it's because it's cathartic, and if you kill them it's like taking your power back, and they have no effect on you?

Okay I just imagined leveling a shot gun at her face, then watching her head splatter. It cracked me up. Am I on the right track?

Oh, she's there right now?

Sounds pretty close. The combination of mumbling and swearing is probably unsettling to some who have a fallacious idea in their mind of a serial killer doing that.

I think it's probably not as easy as it sounds to get right but I am not kidding when I say that I have had success in making myself more approachable to people by imagining to kill them.

Even if it doesn't work, it's a lot more fun than moping about it.

There are some people who are scared of me, as well. I have a hunch that it's because I'm a big person, and I have an unpredictable look, in my eyes.

Your picture from Post Your own Picture makes you look average. Hm...

Perhaps less important here than in the "Real World", but a social tip I learned from my hyper-social other half - ALWAYS phrase anything you say about another person so it is a compliment. I certainly mean no offense by mentioning this. It seems that most of us are here, at least in part, to learn how to avoid social faux pas, and my comment is offered in the spirit of helping. I do not mean to pretend to be some Ms. Manners who has all the answers. I struggle to implement this advice myself, and my boyfriend's reminders keep me on my toes to ensure I don't inadvertently offend someone with a poor word choice.

Maybe it's the way you look Some people think I look like a psycho killer child molester I had a lot of acne problems as a kid & I have lots of scars & stuff on my face. I also do NOT show appropriate emotions on my face. I sometimes grin or smirk at times when it's not appropriate & I also tend to have weird looks in my eyes & people think I'm staring at things when I'm not. I also act really wierd/odd at times when I'm focused on something & I sometimes get nervous & say things that are not quite rite. I also have some ugly scars on my upper left arm from slashing myself like 7 years ago & I almost never wear long sleeved shirts cuz it tends to be hot & humid here; short sleeves cover em but people can kind of notice when I'm close to em & doing things where I'm moving my arm a lot. I cant really do anything to not freak people out unless I have major cosmetic surgery & learn how to show appropriate expressions on my face.
As the late Rodney Dangerfield said
"On Halloween parents send their kids out looking like me"

People who mumble under their breath/mutter to themselves are assumed to be somewhat crazy. It's not true, nor is it fair. Most folks just get weirded out by it.
Somehow, it leads to the assumption that you will somehow become one of these "Columbine" types.

When I was in elementary school (3rd grade or so), I was picked on because I would voice a lot of my thoughts out loud.
It took me about a year, but I managed to stop doing it.

If mumbling under your breath is a comfort to you, it may be better if you can find some time alone to do this.

I demand a picture of this VEST.

Sounds epic.

I laugh when people get in fights, almost uncontrollably. When my mother has an angry outburst, I find it hilarious, and can't stop laughing. It's no wonder I don't get along with my family...

I have scars on my arms from cutting, so I can definitely empathize. It doesn't help that I'm white as a sheet. I only wear long sleeves anyway because I'm self-conscious about my body, but I wouldn't give a damn if people saw them otherwise.

Last edited by Bethie on 28 Jul 2010, 9:58 am, edited 2 times in total.