Do you all have fake emotions just to get people off you?

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TigerFire
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22 Apr 2006, 12:20 pm

What I mean since I've been miserable all my life and since I'm still dealing with Depression I have to fake being happy just to make my family not ask me why I'm down or what's wrong with me. I really am getting annoyed at having to get that response from them. Of course they care about me but I can' t really handle that much attention like that. I know smiling at everyone is a good thing from time to time but now it's coming out faked. Now I don't really know what mood is real. I have learned now to fake any mood when I'm really down. Am I the only that has to do these things I've mentioned?


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Hu3
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22 Apr 2006, 12:25 pm

People can't really tell what I'm feeling it seems. I guess I don't express my emotions anyway.



Nan
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22 Apr 2006, 4:35 pm

TigerFire wrote:
What I mean since I've been miserable all my life and since I'm still dealing with Depression I have to fake being happy just to make my family not ask me why I'm down or what's wrong with me. I really am getting annoyed at having to get that response from them. Of course they care about me but I can' t really handle that much attention like that. I know smiling at everyone is a good thing from time to time but now it's coming out faked. Now I don't really know what mood is real. I have learned now to fake any mood when I'm really down. Am I the only that has to do these things I've mentioned?



Yeah, I do it from 50% to maybe 60% of the time - pretty good at faking it.



walk-in-the-rain
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22 Apr 2006, 5:28 pm

Alot of people do that too if they don't feel like sharing - it's easier because there is a tendency for others to want to know what your problem is if you are unhappy or sad. It's not like many of them will say "or your unhappy, ok I'll leave you alone". Sometimes you have to let people know that you are working through something and to give you some space. However, if you float around like a black cloud raining on everyone's parade then they may feel like you are intruding on their space. Of course - in some families happiness is "enforced" and that isn't helpful.



hale_bopp
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22 Apr 2006, 8:06 pm

I try to fake being happy, but people often see through it. Also I can't fake being happy when I randomly burst into tears.

I don't really talk about it because I don't know what to say, and I don't know how to cope with peoples sympathy and questions. The more sympathy I get from people the worse I cry.



CockneyRebel
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23 Apr 2006, 12:06 am

When people ask me what's wrong, I act all nice and Jolly to get them off my case. Afterwards, I sneak into my Bedroom and have a good Five Minute Cry. I complain about Eye Infections, after I come back out of my Bedroom.



jammie
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23 Apr 2006, 5:36 am

normally i hide behind a set of smoke and mirrors. but slowly thease are coming down. whilst at the same time i can feel other coming back up. I normally put on thi happy mask. when inside i am feeling very bad.

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neptunevsmars
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23 Apr 2006, 6:16 am

The main emotions I try to gloss over are fear and anxiety, kind of hard to do when people notice you shaking and being easily startled.

Then there's anger, trying not to look or act pissed off is like second nature to me now. I've always had to do that because I get so worked up over the tiniest things. Ironically enough, now that I'm learning to let it go a bit more, some workmates have commented that my people skills are improving. Go figure; maybe some people just appreciate the honesty.


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Nan
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23 Apr 2006, 10:03 am

TigerFire wrote:
What I mean since I've been miserable all my life and since I'm still dealing with Depression I have to fake being happy just to make my family not ask me why I'm down or what's wrong with me. I really am getting annoyed at having to get that response from them. Of course they care about me but I can' t really handle that much attention like that. I know smiling at everyone is a good thing from time to time but now it's coming out faked. Now I don't really know what mood is real. I have learned now to fake any mood when I'm really down. Am I the only that has to do these things I've mentioned?


One thing I should have said. On that last part of your post - where you are not sure which mood is real. Be careful on that. I did a "I am Mr. Spock I Feel Nothing" purposely for years as a young teen. It got me through some tough spots.

BUT, funny thing about the mind. The feelings never really go away. They're just lurking back in the depths, somewhere. And if you ignore them for too long, things can go awry. It's like stretching an elastic band. You can pull on it, and pull on it. And there will be a point at which it either snaps entirely or snaps back and leaves you with a painful welt. Or they just form a little knot, which grows and grows, as you add to them. Until, eventually you either implode or explode. Neither of which is either pleasant or healthy for you.

Faking people out is one thing - I spend most of my workday "pretending" to be someone else, keeping my true feelings well under wraps - but I do believe it's really important that you are aware of what you are feeling. I don't think it's wise to start playing head games with yourself. What you choose to show others, that can be useful or not useful. The older you get, hopefully the better you'll be able to judge what serves you best. Use it as you need it.

But if you start hiding from yourself, that will only bring you more misery later on.



larsenjw92286
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23 Apr 2006, 12:42 pm

I don't understand what you're talking about. Please explain this to me.


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thesterlingmoon
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09 May 2006, 9:19 pm

I am a member here because my husband is an aspie...but I can identify with this post. I have bipolar disorder and I suffer from depression and and I have really awful mood swings.....The reason I am mentioning this is because even though I am not AS, I too hate having to be "fake" happy emotions when I feel like I just want to drop off of the face of the planet. My depression often makes me want to be totally left alone....Often when I go out I will just put on sunglasses so I dont have to make eye contact with people or fake a smile when I feel horrible.

I can't stand it when people ask me "How are you?" because most of the time they don't really care about the truth.....They want to hear "fine" or "great" when inside you really feel like crap. I hate the questions "How are you?" or "How's it going?, What's wrong?....because if I am truthful most people will think I am wierd. When family members want to try and "fix" me / my depression with suggestions or a "pep" talk that annoys me too....I just choose to isolate rather than socialize when I am depressed due to this. I just hang out with my aspie husband. He understands this aspect of my personality totally.

Even non aspies hate faking emotions. I hate superficiality in general.