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One thing I've noticed recently, is that it is very easy for me to hold very short "Hi, how are you, what have you been up to, nice weather, okay bye" conversations.

That may get people to have an initial postive opinion of me.

Unfortunately, it doesn't help me get further than that. One, I don't know what to say and two, I will often get to the end of the small talk and they are just staring at me expecting me to say something and I have no idea what to do at that point because I've run out of topics for conversation.

At that point, I'll look at them since they are staring at me then I'll look away and look back and it just becomes awkward and we will say "bye" and end it there.

What can I do to fix this problem?

I can relate to your problem. After the initial niceties I usually start blurting weird out of context things out of anxiety. It doesn't occur to me at the time that the other person could come up with something.

I can't even do the initial small talk, so count yourself lucky.

The only way I can talk to people is if they're willing to discuss ideas, beliefs or philosophies with me, or they're willing to talk about their interests and they happen to be something I'm also interested in, or intrigued by.

The initial chit chat was an acquired skill for me. Still, I just spent part of today and yesterday with someone who ( I swear to God) never. stops. talking. It's exhausting just to be around her. Being quiet isn't so bad sometimes.

Yup, exact same problem here.

I don't know how to fix it, but I think part of the problem is I have zero interest in a lot of things people like to talk about, and even if I am interested in something I rarely have a strong opinion about it. So I figure I'm going to try to (1) fake interests in those things, and (2) form an opinion even when I feel neutral about the subject at best.

Are you trying to talk to other guys? Or chat up women?

Or are you simply trying to get friendly with colleagues/neighbors?

I believe all of those situations would be different, but I'm no expert.

Personally all I like is short conversations.

But I suggest YOU talk less, and encourage the other person to talk more.
Smile, and ask them a question.
Then nod, and agree with whatever they say.

I don't think you need talk as much as you need to have relevant questions handy.

For reasons that may not be obvious to people who don't have any trouble with carrying a conversation, this just doesn't work. There's just a point in small talk when you're expected to stop smiling and asking questions and start being a more interesting person.



...and this is something you might want to try when you're kissing someone's butt, not when you're having a conversation.

I'm going to have to agree here. I can ask questions all day long and to an extend that strategy works. However, people will expect some input from you. That's part of why I posted this topic. Let's try to help each other figure out what stops this process from happening. Also, are there people in your life that you never have a problem having long conversations with? Why do you think they are different?

Also, someone asked about the type of people I am trying to socialize with.

Mostly other guys, but girls as well (but just friendly conversation, not trying to get a date).

I've found that social dynamics do change over the time of a conversation.
Early on, during conversation opening or "glad-handing" (as one of my interviewees calls it), boring repetition and cliches are acceptable.
Mid-conversation requires fast parlance and what I'm calling "interest salience", which is the way that people share/discover the topics that they're passionate about.
End-conversation is slow and usually about planning.
So from what I'm researching, it makes sense that us aspies are good at opening and end-conversation, but not at mid-conversation.

As far as fixing this... let me know if you find anything.

AdmiralCrunch,

We've pretty much already stated everything that you just said, but using different words.

We are trying to get to the root of the problem, not simply repeat it. No offense, but the doesn't help.

And there goeth the folks who initially were interested in helping out.

I've observed my dad many times, how he engages small talks, he's very talkative, at least compared to me. You need to have some confidence and not be afraid of embarrassment. Also, people you talk to, need to feel your confidence, by the way you speak and act. Body language is MUCH more important than the words you speak. And keep an eye contact. Also, try to start with mentioning little things and try to derive from there. It's all about the ACT, not what you talk about.

I've gotten pretty good at the mid conversation--now that I have plenty of life experience, in addition to ridiculous amount of web surfing. It helps to have a favorite sports team or two and learn the names of some players--pick a favorite or two. It helps even more to have a special interest that is sort of mainstream--mine is gardening. Lots of people will talk about gardening--especially if you know how to make their plants grow better, or why certain plants don't do well where you live. Much better than some of my other hobbies. People also like to talk about good places to eat and vacations that turned out really well.