Contempt

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This question is for married people. Have you seen your wife (or husband) show contempt
towards you. I get the feeling that since I do not get any visitors or phonecalls, I'm isolated,
friendless and lonely, she treats me with contempt.

I'm successful in my professional life and from time to time when I'm recognized publicly
I find my wife fawning over me. But it washes off soon and she goes back to showing
contempt?

Anyone else noticed this in their lives?

Also, I find when I'm assertive, stand up for myself, she becomes nice and friendly.

He'd talk to me like I was some kind of a dog, including three days of screaming at me because I "fumbled with the tickets". Then from time to time he'd say something about being in awe of my brains. Then he'd snarl (when I was dealing with a stick door knob) "You're so incompetent you can't even open a door!"

It took years (and being apart) to understand he went into panic mode whenever I failed at anything because - consciously or unconsciously - he couldn't could on his own wonky brain, so he ended up counting on mine to be infallible.

Wrong.

He found it out too when he got transferred north to another Mile High City and was driving etc all on his own.

His last two statements regarding me and his opinion of me were "...now we know what's wrong with you..." and "I always knew you were some kind of genius."

He wasn't any nicer to me when I stood up for myself. Rather, it outraged him. I confronted him on it once and found out that yes, he did date the beginning of the argument from the first word out of my mouth - even to (the example I gave him) if he were stepping on my toe and I asked him to get off, that's "arguing with him" which he equated (honestly!) with mutiny, insubordination, and unwarranted rebellion. You wouldn't understand unless you'd met his parents.

My first husband treated me with contempt consistently. He was also physically abusive. At the time I was used to being treated with contempt by alot of people growing up so I thought it was all I deserved. Later after many years I realized his problems were even worse than mine and I hear he is about to marry for the 4th time. Have you tried discussing the problem with her, Books? Does she seem aware she's doing this?