This behaviour?

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I have semantic pragmantic language disorder which is closely related to AS and autisim. When this women that I knew quite well came up to talk to me she was acting quite misrable around me well at least that is how i interprettated it.

i behaved arrogently back to her by beeing moody and disregarding her as I was in a good mood and she was ruining my ego by talking down at me.

Is this narcassistic behaviour?

The short answer is yes it is.

The longer answer is yes it is and here is why: If someone is in a bad mood and comes up to you, they are not in a bad mood because they want to be in one and if they're talking to you they are either doing it because A. They have to be doing it (like at work) or B. They need someone to talk to about what is going on with them. Either way their mood has nothing to do with you or your ego. If they are already in a bad mood, then at most you have a short conversation with them and then leave where they are or say "I can't talk about that right now." To intentionally be arrogant and moody towards the individual in return does nothing but escalate the situation: It makes them feel worse and you look like an ass. Most of the time if you just let people talk for a minute or two, they will shut up about it and you'll be considered a decent person for "hearing them out."

If this person was ruining your mood, then simply say "Hey I know what you are dealing with sucks but I need to go do X (insert something you need to do)." Then just walk away.

Its not bad to step away if you are feeling overwhelmed by someone else's mood, but being moody or arrogant back to them doesn't help anyone and puts you in a very negative light.

It does not neccesarly mean i have narcassistic personality disorder though?

No, it means you just don't know a socially appropriate way of getting rid of moody or emotional people around you. It is a narcissistic action, but that doesn't mean you have that disorder.

We all do things that are self-serving, but its when you think that you are better than all these people because of (whatever you come up with) and have a really long list then its more likely to be a disorder. When you can't connect to anyone because all of them are "beneath you" then its a disorder. If you just don't want to hear people b***h, its normal, but you have to figure out how to get yourself out in a more socially appropriate manner.

I dunno if it was narcissistic, but it was pretty selfish. Or was it self protective? Huh. No it's too complicated for me.

One thing you can try to do is transmit your good mood to her, or at the least, not let her bad mood affect you. Let it wash right over.

i think a lot people on the sepctrum and personality disorders in general have a strong link to narcacissm such as self centerdness etc...

I'm a minister and do spiritual counseling, so its my job to listen to people complain, but I tire of it pretty quickly if people are just whining to have someone verify how hard they have it instead of wanting to actually change either themselves or the situation. There are plenty of times when I have had to make some excuse or simply say "I cannot handle that issue right now" or something similar so that I can have my own down time since I routinely have people come up to me randomly and start talking to me about their problems who are not clients.

Yes, is self-serving to not listen to someone else's problems, but that doesn't mean that its bad to set that limit. If you can't listen to people complain because it makes you feel bad, then thats fine: You just need to use more appropriate methods to make that boundary known instead of getting moody back at the person. I can listen to people tell me about horrible stuff all day and I just see it and them as a project to figure out and work on fixing so my boundaries are slightly different than yours.

A certain amount of selfishness is natural and healthy.