Gallygun wrote:
So, I am having a really hard time getting out of the house to be around other people, even though I desperately want friends.
I have a College and Careers group at my local church that I like, but it's 3 hours long! And I can't concentrate for nearly that long! I get panic attacks when I have to do something I really don't like (like singing, listening to someone talk) for a long time (BTW, is that a part of Aspergers?). Often times I feel very ignored, too, though the people are nice. I'll start off in a conversation, and after 15 minutes, I realized "Gee, I haven't been spoken to for 15 minutes, they're just talking to each other".
I have a bible study I go to, but it's a similar set of problems; I don't like doing the actual study because it bores me (even though it's important to me that I do it). And when we are discussing the study, I never know when to interject my opinion, and when I have spoken too much.
I think one of this issues is that my special interests are very specialized and very solitary. Like sci fi manga, drawing, writing. But I can't force myself to "like" other things! I just can't do anything when it is the focus of the social event and I have no interest in it.
I am going to school for art with a concentration in drawing, but I still can't make any friends. So now I am finding myself unwilling to leave my house without dragging myself out, and then getting absolutely NOTHING out of whatever it is I do.
I really want friends, but I end up quitting everything that I start because I can't stand doing things that I hate, and I don't stay long enough to build any relationships.
Anyone relate? What should I do? I'm so lonely, but I cannot get myself to stay somewhere that causes panic attacks.
I know I'm not just being a total wuss, because all the things I "should" do end up making me depressed when I don't do them or don't want to do them. And then I end up staying home alone and being a bit of a burden on my parents because they need their time alone together.
I think a lot of my burdens come from "needing" to do things I don't want to do. Any advice would be great, though.
I can relate to almost everything you wrote here, especially the part where your interests are solitary and how you can't continue doing things you arent interested in. I have friends but I only see them sporadically because they are very well rounded people who enjoy a wide variety of things from partying, socializing with lots of people, football, video games, smoking weed, surfing and going to the beach...We have some interests in common like football. xbox, the beach and small group drinking/partyin but I am not interested in their other interests and it stresses me out to be doing something I dont enjoy...so i only hang out with them when they do the things i enjoy as well.
Also i have the prob with conversation at social events, Im good at starting it off by getting to know that person but I am unable to sustain the convo by inserting witty jokes, humor and spontaneous comments- i kinda just insert my opinion and sometimes it sounds more like a lecture with too many details than a me voicing my opinion.
What should you do? You should start meeting other ppl at your school who are into art and drawing - you have a common interest there. You could join a gym, there wont be much if any social interaction there but you will be getting in better shape and improving your mood. im in the same situation, i lived on my own for 2.5 years in college and had many friends but I broke down (long story short), lost all my friends and my reputation gotten into depression and returned home and am living at home for the time being. My high school friends are gone, scattered around the country and world so i have almost no friends here and have a terrible time trying to make new ones...so yeah im stuck at home most of the time and not wanting to go out to do things...however I force myself out a few times a week even for short periods because i know its not good to be at home all the time. for example tomorrow I'm going to the Univ of Hawaii football game with my dad because its something i enjoyed when i was not depressed even though I really do not want to right now. That 4 hour period will be the longest ive been out continuously in a while which is sad.
I'm going to find a job and save up money, at least that will get me out of the house most of the day and ill be making money. I also go to the gym or try to do something physical everyday but i spend most of my time playing xbox, on the computer or outside trying to be productive by doing yardwork or cleaning the place up. until I start school again there is really no ways for me to expand my social contacts, so until then my life is gonna be work, xbox, internet, tv, reading and maybe seeing a friend once a week and spending time with the family...
You can do it! try meeting someone at your art school who likes the same kinds of artwork or has similar interests. i feel like people who are in art institutions tend to be more philosophical and deeper and are somewhat introverted themselves- so i think you have a good chance of meeting someone you click with.Good Luck!
19 Nov 2010, 10:38 pm
