Peers VS. Adults

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I work in a grocery store. I'm one of those kdis who bag the people's groceries.

I have a hard time socializing with the other carry-outs, my peers. If I do talk to them, it's only for a few seconds and I don't have anything else to say for some reason. Even simple small talk doesn't come easily. Many times there are two carry-outs bagging on one register, but when this happens to me I have nothing to say and I find it hard to socialize.

But I can easily talk to the cashiers. I talk to all of the cashiers and enjoy it. I always have something to say and can easily start up a conversation. I feel as if I don't have AS. I endlessly talk to a cashier from one topic to another. I have a really good relationship with all of the cashiers on the job.

Why is this? I can even easily talk to the customers when I help them out to their car (although when I bag their groceries it's not as easy because I would only be speaking to them for a few seconds).

I can talk to adults easily but not to peers my age.

Not sure why you have the trouble with the other carry-outs but it
was very normal for me to seem very extroverted, talk endlessily with
one person and say nothing to some. At work I loved to talk to customers
but I would find it very hard to talk to someone in a grocery store. For
whatever reason our brains feel more safe with some situations.

I have heard that Aspies sometimes relate better to people older or younger than themselves

i get a simalar thing. i only speak with peer~2 and some adults

jammie

The reason for this is adults are less likely to judge you.

I'm an adult and have the same thing - uncomfortable talking to teenagers.

I was exactly like that when I worked at Safeway.....well, sort of. I did sometimes talk to the other courtesy clerks, but they all joked and laughed about me behind my back. They all thought I was slow. They sometimes treated me like a kid, probably because my poor social skills DID make me look slow, even though I am way smarter than them in my opinion.

The cashiers and other older people I got along great with. I think it is because most Aspies have been judged by their peers for most of their lives, whereas with adults, for the most part, this doesn't happen.

I was always one to 'hang out' with my parents and their friends rather then people my age. I seemed to be able to talk to older people better so in this case I spose its just natural. I believe the comment about how older people are less likely to judge you could be why. But for me it seems to be more self-concious then anything else. Cannot pinpoint a reason.

Hang out with my parents? Oh God, spare me from it <mumbles a prayer in Hebrew>. If there were any two people I could never get along with, it was my parents. So while I did get along easier with adults than with my peers, hanging out with my parents (or their friends, for that matter, who always took their side) was the last thing I'd do.

When I was in my teen years, I also tended to asociate with adults more than with my peers. This was easy, because I was growing up in local authority care and of course, there were adults running the places I stayed in.

Even in the community home where I stayed apart from one person I hung around with - we were both mad on Science Fiction, the Paranormal, etc - I used to either be on my own a lot or associate mostly with the members of staff.

I tend to find that the 'peer group' are, or at least seem to be, the most threatening of all the possible groups, because that is the benchmark against which you can be measured.

Staff and other adults are less judgemental, as someone said earlier, so it means there is no need to put on an act. Also, the quality of conversation tended to be far higher with adults than with peers.

Imagine my amazement when, upon becoming an adult, I noticed that the quality of conversation was not that high (ie, it wasn't about things that interested me) because at this point the adults would not indulge me in my subjects of interest.

Decades ago, Science Fiction conventions where uniquely non ageist. But snobbish power mad cliquish bullying and infighting and ever finer splinter groups have put an end to all of that!

Who says you absolutely have to have great relationships within your current peer group?

When I was younger, I never got along with my peer group at large because the things that they enjoyed and talked about were stupid and uninteresting to me. I couldn't even make myself talk about them. But I enjoyed people in their 30s and older. They were more interesting and engaging. I have always dreaded my peer group until I reached my mid-thirties when I finally caught up to my peers! Does that make sense?

I love old folks too and now that I'm an adult and understand kids better and have had to work with them, I like them, too. I just don't have alot in common with most people. well, that's not entirely accurate. I have much in common with many people, but I don't relate well with most.