Giving and receiving compliments

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I'm really uncomfortable with receiving compliments and I don't know how to appropriately compliment someone or when I should. At work, I always hear people telling people things like "you're the man!" or other more complex compliments. But when someone says something to me, I just freeze up. Usually it seems like it should be obvious so it didn't need to be said.

I know it acts as a sort of social lubricant, but I can't get the hang of it. How do you respond to compliments and what sort of things are appropriate to compliment, how often, and why?

I just smile and say "Thanks" or "thank you" when someone gives me a compliment. Those were the only lines I was taught in school.



You can compliment someone about their work if you think they did a good job or you appreciated it. You can also compliment what they have on if you like it.

Hi,

I understand how you feel!
I've just been diagnosed a month ago (age 26) and have always had great problems with compliments.
I always think that when someone says I am "great" or something like that they are most likely lying to get me to do things for them, just say a random thing they don't mean or are just stupid and are therefore thinking something small is "awesome". The things I do I do well (learned through tons of repetition), so unfortunately I get these stupid social lubricants thrown at me all the time. And I hate it

I also don't know how to make compliments either.
But as a general rule I tend to fake a smile and say the things people expect like "aw, it was nothing" or "Thanks".
It helps I think if you end with a smile or nod as well.

Best regards!

I got a compliment once. It was about three years ago. I was walking down the street, and this guy who had, like ONE tooth, and a beard down to his waist, gave me a huge smile and said, "Why, yore a purdy little thang!!" I smiled and said, "Thanks."


Sigh.

I have a problem recieving compliments.
if someone compliments me I feel uncomfortable and embarrassed and I don't know what to do, thanking them feels too unnatural for some reason. I used to say "yeah" after a compliment but later found out that the other person thought that was rude because it's like I'm agreeing with them.

I also struggle with giving and recieving compliments.

When I recieve one I either just smile or I say a brief "thanks" and try to change the subject. I don't normally give compliments as it doesn't come naturally to me and I feel very awkward. I might say "that's a nice skirt" or something like that if I feel okay enough to put that accross to someone.

i do not need to be told that something i have done is good. i already know it.
i do not need to tell anyone else that something they have done is good. they already know it.

"condolences" work the same way.

I have trouble taking compliments, mostly because I find the majority of (NT) people give them out a bit too liberally, and often dishonestly. I don't understand the concept of complimenting people about something that isn't true, but because it happens so often, I have a hard time sussing out whether or not someone is being honest in what they're telling me.

As for giving compliments, I give them whenever I feel they're warranted, but this often leads to strange looks from people, and a lot of men thinking I'm hitting on them.

I'm pretty mellow so I used to feel like when people complimented me real enthusiastically that they wanted something from me. Sometimes my tongue gets frozen when I'm thinking of giving people compliments like, "You're a good cook," or, "You're a good friend." These things are sort of embarrassing to say aloud.

For me, I found it easy to compliment others on how well they are doing something, what they are wearing if it stands out or if they did a favor for you.

And sometimes, if a person who helped me out was worthy of praise from me and if they seem like a "cool" person, I'll sometimes slip them a few dollars and tell them get a beer or something - only in certain situations.

Considering it now, I can think of a few classifications for compliments:

1. Flirtation (they want sex and/or affection/attention)
2. Flattery (they want money or a favor)
3. Appreciative (you helped them out in some small way and the compliment is a way to reciprocate)
4. Admiration (they are genuinely impressed and felt motivated to express that). I think this is related to surprise and awe, like somebody complimenting a talented performer after a performance.
5. Reflexive/ceremonial (such as saying "good game" after a match or "thanks for the wonderful meal"; the compliment may be genuine, but it's issued as a matter of ritual.) These might be considered part of 'being polite'.
6. Sarcastic (this one is tricky, but has a sort of 'sharp' sound and is often exaggerated or drawn out.) Sometimes these are delivered with more of a "dry wit", similar to a 'straight-faced' lie.
7. 'Fishing' (they want to see if and how you'll compliment them in return, to try to learn something about you.) This seems to overlap a bit with flirtation and being sarcastic, as both are kind of poking at you to get a response.

There are likely additional subtleties and gradations, but these are the major types that come to mind. Not that there's ever enough time when talking to think about the list and work out exactly what was meant.