How can I end a friendship that is stressing me???

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Help, please

This sounds stupid but I have a problem with making friends. Basically I seem to have a problem in that I easily form friendships, if you can call them friendships, with older men. I'm 33 and the 2 guys in question are both nearly 60, around my Dad's age.

If I'm honest I'm not even sure why I'm friends with them, they are both ex work colleagues who have just made the effort to keep in touch with me.

I know this is my own fault but I reply to their messages almost compulsively, probably because I have little better to do. And I even see them occasionally, when I get tired of them nagging.

When I was younger I would have just stopped replying to their messages and ex communicated them and now I feel ready to do that but feel bad to do it.

The one guy I am keener to cull than the other, but should I tell him? Or just put his messages on auto-delete?

I feel bad because I feel I have used the guy, he has bought me meals out and drinks but then on the flip side one night he asked to kiss me, which really I should have ended the 'friendship' then but for some stupid reason I didn't. I ignored him for a while and then somehow forgave him...

Then I tried again to ignore him, and one of his other friends messaged me on Facebook and said I shouldnt let the friendship go.

I know I have been an idiot and should never have let things get this far but just really hope maybe you can give me some ideas what I might do...

Thanks in advance xxx

How is that using him? Because you were letting him buy things for you? One could also argue that he was taking advantage of you by buying things for you.

It's only using him if you are keeping him around to buy things for you when you know he is trying to buy your affection and have no intention of giving it to him. Likewise, he's only taking advantage of you when he's buying things for you in an attempt to get that affection under the pretense that he's just a friend, or know he shouldn't for some reason.

Both would usually involve some form of intentional deception.

But if you hadn't realized he was interested in that way, and he didn't try to imply he wasn't interested in that way, then you're not using him and he's not taking advantage of you. You are simply two people who don't know where you stand with each other.

Now that he asked to kiss you, you know where he stands. He'd like more than a friendship with you. Does he just want sex or does he want a relationship? I'm not sure.

You can just tell him flat out that you're not interested in a romantic relationship with him and think it best to go your separate ways.

You have no obligation to remain in a friendship which stresses you.

Thank u

Tbh I'm asexual and have a tendency to be really naive when it comes to understanding other peoples intentions because I have never experienced attraction to other people myself I don't understand what it feels like. I don't understand what makes one person want to kiss another person, it makes me feel sick! I'm just not an intimate person at all.

I did explain that to the guy but he is still as keen on the 'friendship' as ever.

And yes, you're right, in fact, by buying me stuff it was a bit like buying my company so maybe I wasn't the one doing the using.

I think he understands that I don't want a romantic relationship, sort of, except that he thinks being asexual is something you grow out of, which I'm not too sure about...

I'd just prefer if it was over because I feel he copies me, even to the point of sending me and AQ test, and going on about his perceived symptoms, which personally I don't even believe as he has a great job on great money and a relatively normal family. Neuroticism is not AS...

And I find it a burden on me... I guess that's why It has to end...