Co-worker/aquaintance with problems

Post Reply New Topic

I work with a girl who I have made connections with about two years ago and we have gotten along find in the past. Recently though, we had an major issue arise at work where due to some issues going on in her life. The first issue was over her originally planning on taking Monday off because she had some things that needed to be done and then she was sick. I was planning on going into work yet I forgot to call paratransit and since there is no local bus route anymore, I had to take the day off. This caused her to become very upset and frustrated with me. Meanwhile, her father-in-law called her up and asked her for money due to some issues with owing money. So, I went into work on Tuesday only to discover that she was talking to me as if she were a dictator and made the work environment hostile. For one, she tried to tell me to e quiet and do my work as it was not social time and then made me feel bad because I told another co-worker who has a disability and the mind of a child. She was worried about someone not being there with her. So this woman was very destructive about what I created and made a mountain out of a mole-hill by accusing me by stealing her day off and not bothering to think about switching with me as in taking Tuesday instead.

Do you think she was using her father-in-law's problems as an excuse?

I don't know but I do think she was out of order to act the way she did. Perhaps she's being rude/mean because of her internal stress but it doesn't excuse this behaviour on her part.

I can understand her being annoyed about there not being cover for her at work but a mature conversation would probably have sorted it. Explaining that the bus no longer runs in your area and the only way to get in is a paratransit may have helped but she's possibly lashing out at everyone she can now because she's feeling out of control elsewhere in her life. Explaining now possibly will have her acting meaner though.

Still, it's wrong for her to act badly and unprofessional in my opinion.

I sent her a professional e-mail and explained the situation and then offered to trade days off with her the next time a situation happened and she did apologize for lashing out. What she didn't do was take me up on the offer with the other mess and I figured that the ball was in her court. Instead, she calmly explained the situation with me and I understood but I didn't like how she thought that manipulating me with her external problems was excusable.

I had even called the supervisor about it and they knew about her behavior and were not too happy since another witness saw her yell at me.

In the future, how should I approach this?

I don't know the best way to deal with this.

If it were me in that situation, I'd probably not offer her help again but this would probably lead to more not nice behaviour on her part. I can be kind of aggressive when people try to push me about and it doesn't always serve me well.

Saying that, I think the fact that the supervisor and a witness saw it is good, and so if she keeps up her bad behaviour they will probably look at you as more reasonable than her.

It's a pity that she decided to act like she has, it's possible that she'll get over this and things will get back to normal but it may not. I don't have enough experience to properly advise as to what will happen.

I do hope work will get easier socially soon.