patronized by everyone

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literally EVERYONE i meet starts patronizing me or talking to me like i'm just "so sad" within the first few minutes of conversation. and i don't know how to respond to it or let them know that i'm aware of it without being rude. in the past i have tried just responding with arrogance and susie what's-her-face would just get even more self-righteous and condescending.
i'm so sick of the baby talk.
even my own mother talks to me like i'm an 8 year old child and makes baby faces at me. it's crushing my self esteem.
Does anyone know what factors would lead to someone instantaneously feeling superior like this?
And how to handle it?

i dont know but im in a near identical situation even my friend patronises me but dosent realise that he is .
when he does i say stop patronising me but i dont know what would be done in the case of strangers

ignorance works sometimes

some people just naturally talk like that.

If they are actually patronizing you, then responding in a bit of a harsh, annoyed, or sarcastic tone seems to be how NT's usually deal with it when they are patronized.

What sometime works for me is that I mimic the person's tone and inflection and I talk in a patronizing way back to them. I have dealt with two different scenarios; one - that person thinks I'm being a smart-ass and they don't talk to me anymore. For me that is perfectly fine; if a person wants to treat me as an equal, that's OK. If they choose not to talk to me, that's fine too. Two, - A person told me they did not appreciate me talking to them in that tone of voice and I would say "touche" , I don't like it when your talk to me in that tone either.

Depends on your age and the severity of the patronization. As a teenager if it were someone I knew well I'd say in my most sarcastic voice say stuff like "Aww, how cute, toddler talk just for me?" and follow with the most icy glare I could and a typical teenage exasperated "Ugh, yeah like I'm still 6 or something." Oddly it reassures people when coming from a teenager.

There's this thing I picked up from my father's side that they'd do when they got angry. They could hold a grudge forever and never exploded with anger, just got real scary quiet, assertive and above all calm. Icy anger if you will. All the works, direct eye contact, speaking quietly but deliberately with the anger just showing in the voice, the jaw and eye. As an adult I use this for severe repeat infractions with previous warnings ignored. Such as a shrink who really should have known better after me asking several times politely. It's very much a social throw-down move, it says quite loudly that I'm furious at you right now but I'm mature enough to keep it under control and I am dead serious. It can be confrontational and if it's bad enough you have to resort to it make sure you can follow up on ignoring the childish talk and that you can keep your cool during/after it.

Just tell them right out to stop f**king patrontising you. If someone does that to me, that's always my reaction.

Some people unconsciously invade other people's "shields". When you don't have any, you're very easily invaded. This prompts unnatural, underhanded or over-the-top reactions on your part, because you are HURT, but don't have a feel of what's an appropriate response. And the other person may not even be aware that they stepped on your toes, because they're thick-skinned.

Your response, however, will open more room for them to attack.

You need to learn to:

* not acknowledge weak provocations (that's how real-life trolling happens)
* in advance, notice their weak points in case they throw an attack in the future
* respond to strong provocations with a measured coldness that just freezes them in place, because it's NOT OVERDONE - it merely matches their attack in severity. This way, they can't accuse you of "flying off the handle" (another common troll trick), without flying off the handle themselves.

For instance, someone says "Why do you look so sad? You don't like my company?".

Instead of feeling rattled and shooting back a defensive response, like "I AM NOT SAD! YOU ARE SAD!!", remain calm, and say "That's just how I always look. Don't be so insecure."

This shuts them down. It's not defensive, but affirmative. You validate yourself. It neutralizes the attack and gives them a soft knock in the ribs, so they learn to respect your space better.

I know exactly what you're talking about; although I don't have an answer to 'solve' it.....sorry!

I can only assume in my case, it's something I'm projecting. I have wondered if my own tone of voice comes across as patronising, (which I don't intend at all). Until someone tells me exactly what it is that compells them to speak to me like I'm a 2 year old; I'm never going to be able to resolve it.
In my experience, if you do confront someone about it (and I have done), they will flatly deny it and be offended by the fact that you have accused them of such a thing.
So, I don't think most people are even aware that they are doing it; (although there are those out there who are deliberately and maliciouscly doing it to make you feel like you are beneath them; because they don't get you, and that makes them uncomfortable).........those are just my observations from my own experiences.

Now I read this back to myself it all seems contradictory to what my point was..........which I'm not sure what the point was in the first place!

Don't talk to people.