What does it mean when people say that "you are too eas

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user1001
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04 Feb 2011, 8:01 pm

I am male and 17 and every time I am picked on and taken advantage of people always say that to me. I don't know why, someone would make fun of me and say stuff like "You are so easy to pick on" or "You are so weak." and I would like to know what they mean. I have ASD mabye aspurgers and I want people to know how can I not be so taken advantage of so easily or be picked on.



Mindslave
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04 Feb 2011, 8:11 pm

People that are "easy to pick on" don't know the difference between someone with good intentions and someone with bad intentions. This makes it a lot easier to take advantage of them.



momsparky
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04 Feb 2011, 10:19 pm

You are being bullied - if you're in school, you should let a trusted adult know what is happening. Tell them everything that happened from the time you began talking to the people picking on you (or the time they began talking to you) to the point where they said this. Ask them to help you understand where things went wrong.

It is difficult to learn how to stop feeding a bully - things that work in ordinary situations don't work well with bullies. You are best off walking away from the situation entirely as soon as you have identified that someone's intentions are bad, even if it means leaving in mid-sentence.

There are a lot of resources out there on the internet on how to deal with bullies, either in the school or in the workplace - do a google search. (bullying.org is one site I've looked at, as well as bullies to buddies)



mightypen515
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10 Feb 2011, 11:07 pm

momsparky wrote:
It is difficult to learn how to stop feeding a bully - things that work in ordinary situations don't work well with bullies. You are best off walking away from the situation entirely as soon as you have identified that someone's intentions are bad, even if it means leaving in mid-sentence.


She's right, and leaving in mid-sentence may SOUND rude when you see it suggested in text, but trust me, it's a deflating experience for a bully. Follow her link brother. And maybe post back so people will know how you're doing. Starve a bully and he'll go somewhere else for food. :wink:



KBerg
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11 Feb 2011, 1:24 am

When people say that it's just a way of justifying behavior people know is wrong by blaming the other person. Usually for differences that the other person can't help that make them different from the person bullying them. Like, "it's not my fault I punched him, it's his fault for being gay! He invited it by being a fag" is a classic example I've heard.

It's the kind of stuff that bullies do, it's not like they choose to do things they know are wrong because they get off on it, it's just because it was so easy to do it that it wasn't really their fault, anyone would have. Which isn't true at all, most people don't do those things. They know it's not true, they're just trying to make it seem to any bystanders like what they're doing to you isn't as bad as they know it is. It's the 'blame the victim' mentality and it's disgusting and stupid and nobody should ever have to put up with that.

Trust me on this, you really should get the advice of some NT adult you know and trust. It can be very difficult for us to tell the difference between what is OK between friends, schoolmates and what is not because NTs often tell you you need to make friends. But they never clarify what actions mean a person isn't a real friend but is being abusive. And please, if they tell you 'oh everyone gets teased, it's a normal part of growing up' or 'well you do invite it by being so different' then do not trust that person ever again. Find someone else to try to help you but don't go back to that person. People who say that don't care about you, they may try to pretend they do but they don't and they will not be good for any help in understanding what you can or should do about the situation.



momsparky
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11 Feb 2011, 9:08 am

I'm going to offer another link - which is really geared towards very small kids, but the basic idea answers your question, I think. While it seems clear when you're reading it, many people have difficulty in the moment discerning which action is mean and which isn't - http://autism.about.com/od/theautismcom ... ullies.htm

There's an interesting article this week on Asperger's Diary in Psychology today about American Idol: I never understood that show, and can't understand why people watch it...and Lynne Soraya explained why in a nutshell. The first part of the show where they're auditioning people is all about bullying, specifically the kind of bullying where people get someone to do something so they wind up embarrassing themselves.

Please do post back and let us know how you're doing.

(and, thanks, mightypen)