I have never had great social skills. All of the friends that I have embraced me in the beginning for my "cute" awkwardness and odd quarks. I was never able to approach someone and have a conversation, even with people I'm friends with. And that causes a lot of problems. A lot of the friends I have think I hate them, because I simply cant bring myself to say hi first, it's painful. I believe a lot of my friends actually hate me, though they vehemently deny that they do. I just don't feel as if they really love me, though they say they do, and often times do things to prove it.. I love my friends a lot by the way. I can't say goodnight or I love you to my mother or stepfather first, I have to wait for them. and that's made my stepfather believe I dislike him, leading to some problems between my stepfather and mom, and I feel bad about it. I can never ask for help, I hate having to bother my friends and family with my problems, with schoolwork, relationships, and so on. And I simply cannot do my chores or other forced work upon me such as homework in front of my parents, I have a nagging feeling that when they see me doing these things, the second I leave the room, they begin making fun of me and what could be perceived as "misfortunes" though I have never heard them do this kind of thing.
The people I'm closer to, (girlfriends) have a hard time understanding me. They don't understand my way of thinking. They don't understand why I feel the way I do, Or why I come to the conclusions I come to.
Is there really any hope for me to overcome these problems? I've been trying for years, and as of yet I can't.
09 Feb 2011, 11:15 pm
