today i declined a hug

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I just recently made a friend. Today, the second time we've talked, he went to hug me as we parted, and instead of accepting, i.e. opening my arms and stepping forward etc., I extended my hand for a handshake.

Do most people hug their friends? Or did he want to hug me casually because I am a girl and he is a boy? Or not-casually, as in hoping to have some kind of close relationship? If not, would he have made this gesture to a male friend? Will he wonder if I am a lesbian or if I have sexual issues now and be a little distant from me?

I've never liked hugging, for as long as I can remember.

It's because you are a girl and he is a boy. It doesn't necessarily mean he is interested in you, but it is a girl boy thing. If you were a guy, I doubt he would hug you, especially not after the second time you've talked. Now, if you are concerned about him feeling left out, don't be. Let's list the options:

1. You hug him back. That might send the wrong message.
2. You shake his hand. That might send the wrong message.
3. You shake his hand, then feel bad about it and talk to him out of guilt. That might send the wrong message.
4. You hug him back, then feel like that;s too much, and withdraw a bit. That might send the wrong message.
5. You fart on a candle in his house. That might send a bill to his parents.

So there is always a possibility of sending a message, and in order to control the messages you send, you have to know the other person better than anyone, and even then, how do you control the messages? So just be you, and that should send the best possible message.

Honestly it may depend on your ages. I've noticed college students are much more casual same and opposite sex wise, with casual contact than HS students.

I wouldn't worry about it, although I can understand that would be an awkward position to be in. If this person starts making a big issue about it you might not want to know them anyway.
Also, I do not like to be touched and the only person I have ever let hug me has been my mom. I care about some other people deeply but I would not let them hug me.

I developed hug evasions. They usually make people chuckle as they end up hugging air.

for fear of hurting people's feelings, i will submit to just about anybody's hug, even if they are unclean.

Everyone hugs these days, it drives me nuts. I don't mind hugging my children or my husband but that's it. Period. I find people I don't know trying to hug me really intrusive. People that know me well enough generally know not to bother.

I always used to decline hugs when I was little because I didn't know how to do them. With my parents it was fine, but I was scared of hugging 'weirdly' (I had a real thing about 'weird'). Now I don't do it because it seems invasive.

I've been evading hugs for years, although most of my friends aren't very huggy people. With the exception of with of my Mom and my grandmothers I find hugs, or any other form of physical contact really, to be very uncomfortable and awkward. I put up with it from a few of my friends, mostly because I only see them one week a year, but otherwise I will go out of my way to avoid them. I usually just make a joking allusion to Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory and people laugh and leave me alone.

Few hug me. When they do I squirm and try to escape. I reckon it is better that they learn your preferences when it comes to these things.

I am awful at hugging others too.

Recently President Obama was criticized for giving the Medal of Honor to a soldier and then hugging him.
He was supposed to salute him.

European and middle eastern leaders might hug soldiers and then kiss them on both cheeks but in our society it just "isn't done"

I hate when strange women "of a certain class" want to hug me or give me a kiss or an "air kiss" when we meet.

Perhaps I should grab them, bend them backwards and give them a passionate french kiss.

I posted here http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3379326 ... t=#3379326 that a co-worker sent me a sympathy card and wrote in it that she wants to hug me when she comes back to work.

I've told her before that I don't want to hug her husky arse, but she just seems as stuck on THAT as she is on the idea of us being MARRIED - like THAT'S ever gonna' happen

WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST RESPECT OTHER PEOPLES' BOUNDARIES?

And speaking of marriage, we're talking about a co-worker who has NO idea why she would even WANT to do that. I asked her and she was like a DEER IN HEADLIGHTS.

DISMISSED

It is a boy girl thing.
He will not think you are a lesbian (unless there are other reasons to believe this).
He might think you are not into him that way.
On the other hand, it might make him more attracted to you because you resisted his advance. Just a thought.

What happened anyway, are you still friends?

Some people hug their friends, some don't. I know some who give each other big bear hugs and kisses on the cheek, while my friends and I almost never hug. Next time just tell him "I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not a hugger."