i find great potential friends...but never keep them.

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iluvfossilshadez457
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17 Feb 2011, 11:00 pm

i don't quite feel like posting my current situation with this cuz for me it's just been another time that this has happened. (also cuz i'm lazy which is stupid and not much of an excuse)
...but anyhow the last girl i've ever gotten ahold of was through being in this group therapy over the summer and hanging out with her for but about two or three times before we didn't quite communicate or anything of that sort and i was busy with school and she was probably about five times busier than me with grad school as i noticed on her facebook (i'm in community college)

and don't get me wrong here, a lot of the times i don't keep friends is just because i lack the ability to keep up contact, not because we decide we don't get along and break apart or some such thing. but i feel something similar in the way that i'm rude enough as to not really keep up the communication when my friend and i part ways practically permanently for school reasons or whatever. And i don't want anyone on here to think i'm a brat or anything of that nature...although i am kind of careless in someways.

so, if anyone has a solid answer or feel they can relate to my situation, will they please share it? :?



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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17 Feb 2011, 11:23 pm

iluvfossilshadez457 wrote:
. . . and hanging out with her for but about two or three times before we didn't quite communicate or anything of that sort and i was busy with school and she was probably about five times busier than me with grad school as i noticed on her facebook (i'm in community college) . . .

I think that is relatively 'normal' as it were, or it happens to Aspie, 'Normal,' Different in Different Ways, the vagaries of life and a person doesn't quite keep it contact.

For me, the only thing particular aspie, is that sometimes after an intense interaction (intense for me, that is) I kind of need a couple of days to process it.



jackbus01
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18 Feb 2011, 9:14 am

I would like to give a solid answer but I can't seem to find the question. I re-read the post 4 times and I still am trying to figure it out.

so you have a friend that is busy with grad school that is on Facebook and you are trying to reconnect. Why not "friend" her.
I think you are also trying to say something that this "always happens" or am I reading between the lines.

Maybe your trouble stems from trying to organize your thoughts and expressing them to someone else. Maybe this is why your former friend was having trouble with you.



Major_G
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18 Feb 2011, 2:43 pm

I don't quite understand what the current situation is, but I can relate to how your past friendships went. I think that's one of the main reason I don't have really good friends - because I have a hard time maintaining contact...or I maintain TOO MUCH contact. Never seems to be in the middle, just the 2 extremes.


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poppyfields
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18 Feb 2011, 11:37 pm

Major_G wrote:
I don't quite understand what the current situation is, but I can relate to how your past friendships went. I think that's one of the main reason I don't have really good friends - because I have a hard time maintaining contact...or I maintain TOO MUCH contact. Never seems to be in the middle, just the 2 extremes.


Me too. I remember being 12isrh and not understanding why I couldn't spend all day every day with the new girl across the street and why my mom wouldn't let me see her everyday. I never seem to get past that initial stage of friendship, and thus any friendships end up being superficial and short-lived.