Can you tell the difference between snobbery and shyness?

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How?

Hi,

I can't quite tell between the two but relatives used to think that I was a snob when I was growing up. That was probably due to my inappropriate facial expressions.

Most of the NT's I've been around apparently can't.


>.<

The opposite for me, most people think I'm shy (like my mom's side of the family), but in reality I just loathe them.

lol @ the gleeful laughing

Most genuinely shy people will open up once they feel comfortable and/or once you mention something they care about.

Of course there are some people who are shy and snobby. Some people do use snobbery as a cover for lack of social confidence. It's an easy trap to fall into when you have an above average intelligence. I think the amount that this is common leads to a negative stereotype of brainy introvert types.

I've been mistaken for a snob a few times. Because I shy away from groups of people they say "oh, you're too good for us."

I think it's rather easy to tell the difference once you get to know the person in question. But if you're opinion of someone is based only on their appearance or the way they act it might be very misleading. Some people assume I'm a snob just because I'm too shy to talk to them or because I don't share the same interests although I never think that someone is inferior to me. More often I'm the one who feels awkward and silly in a situation.

That relates so much to "Theory of Mind"-
other people assume that someone who is introverted or standoffish is "snobby"
because the only time THEY would avoid social contact is if the person/people in question were less-than-desirable.

Hmm...where Im from its not uncommon for girls to be shy, and shyness is often associated with being sweet and gentle. So if some1 appears to be quiet who might appear to smile a bit and have a very gentle meek apperance, then people assume shy. If someone is quiet and doesnt look friendly...then people assume snob.

As of snobbery...it can be hard to tell...I dont think some1 should assume snob just cause some1 is quiet and doesnt look friendly...there can be numerous reasons for that. Some people can be ultamite snobs but they'll heavily conceal it and attempt to be friendly. But if you try to get closer...they'll keep their distance or make excuses. I had a friend like that, and she appears to be fairly friendly, but it was very decieving. Unfortunetly I found out how closed minded she really was after we had a fallout. She conceals it very well, since our fallout she rarely says hi to me. She only does it when theres people there that at least kinda know us. Like I was sitting with a friend who she didnt know well and she still said hi to me in passing.

I think people think Im a snob at times. Most of the time, Im just a little hesitant to talk to them. When they actually strike up a conversation with me, they find out Im friendlier then I appear.

I diagnose snobbiness as having actual disdain for a person that is palpable.

I know. People are so so ignorant and stupid.

I don't think that there is one. They are just different words to describe similar actions.

if someone tells a lot of jokes some people may call them funny, and some might call them a loudmouth.
If someone does not like to waste money some people may call them smart while others will call them cheap.

It just depends on the point of view of the person saying it.

That said I guess there are people who do not talk to people because they think that they are better and are snobby, but a lot of the time that is a defense mechanism as well because they are uncomfortable too.

In my opinion, one should give people the benefit of the doubt - if someone is withdrawn, assume they are shy or just introverted or need some time alone for another reason.

Sometimes, "physical" signs can show shyness. A shy person might keep their arms close to their body and maybe lean forward a little when sitting - you get the impression that this person is taking up less space than others. Very shy people can also speak with a very quiet voice and only give short answers, or say nothing at all. But this isn't always true and maybe it only applies to young people - after all, this is mostly what I've witnessed at school.

But it really seems to be hard to distinguish, as other posters have said - I've sometimes been taken for a snob, too.

I can't, and it seems like most people can't (NTs included). I just try to give the benefit of the doubt like someone else said. I'm really not snobby, but I'm very quiet in new social situations and I've been called rude, conceited, crazy, a nervous wreck, a b***h, etc.

Normally if someones very quiet, I will assume shy or I just wont assume very much if its just a few situations. When you listen to some NTs conversations about their people evaluations afterwards its like wtf, I didnt see most of what your talking about? They'll be so critical about their impression of so and so after just a super brief encounter. Then I go back in my head to what their talking about...Im thinking really??, I didnt see that at all. I dont write off shy, quiet people that often, since Im very quiet myself it would be very hypocritical. Its more like if the person dont wanna talk much, I just find it tiring to hold one sided conversations so I give up, sometimes Im more likely to think Im doing something wrong which makes them not wanna talk. But I dont think badly about them(most of the time).

I think if u wanna stay quiet but not want people think your a b***h, or snob u gotta act as sweet as possible, talk a timid voice, smile a lot, basically look friendly without saying much. People will think your shy and adorable. Personally I cant BS that type of apperance very often.