I don't have any "real" friends?

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I recently graduated highschool, and looking back I've realized that even though I had quite a few friends (as many as many NT people) I was never close to any of them, and I really had nothing in common with them either. We got along well enough, but asside from going to the movies or hanging out occasionally, I never did anything with them. It's not that I don't like hanging out with people (though I certainly don't mind being alone either) but I really don't know a single person who shares my interests and that I'd do anything with. It gets a little depressing sometimes, but othertimes I don't care. I never had any painful experiences with friends during highschool (probably because our relationships were not much to begin with I guess, the ones that ended just kinda faded away). Now I guess all my highschool friendships will just end up fading away too. I'm not too concerned about it (since I had nothing in common with them), but I'd really like to avoid repeating the process in college.

Anyone had similar experiences or any advice?

Sounds like my life. College was the same way but even harder to
maintain contact. For one friends dropped out, transfered to other schools,
got jobs and school(too busy), got their degree (I knew alot of older students),etc.
I could contact many of those people but I do not. Plus people you meet at college
will likely be from other locations and will goto different locations after school. I
knew nobody from my home town at my college.
My advice is you will have to actively plan to stay in contact. I'm sure people
I knew are mad at me for not maintaining contact. What I'm saying is I do not
blame the NT friends I had for my lack of contact. Its more me. As you said we
can make it alone too easy. In my mind I do not want to contact any old college
friends till I get more done in life. Its been 10 years now which means I will likely
never talk to them or anyone I knew in highschool again. The sad part is I'm not
sad about it.

Nostalgia ain't what it use to be!

i didn't have any real friends until i met other people with AS. I had one friend that would be considered normal... i found out about her interests, chose one i found interesting, found out about it....It lasted for a few years but we are not friends anymore.

sounds like me three, all my friends are here on the computer or away at college and have no way of contacting, or they are in elementry school age and like to play "tag" (a game I cannot keep up in due to coordination and lack of muscle to run like them) i rarely every play with them anymore because i think they got a new set of friends or just dont feel right with me playing or riding bike near them.

It did not occur to me to wonder about past acquaintances until I saw this thread.

I have a long history of encountering 'situational acquaintances' which means people you know simply because you are in a certain situation, eg school, college, work, etc. Given that they were only ever acquaintances anyhow and I was never 'friends' with any of them anyway, it doesn't seem to make sense to wish to stay in touch with them. I thought this was the same for everyone else and it did not occur to me to question this seemingly natural state of affairs.

I remember seeing a health advisory poster concerning meningitis when at college which had a headline "Just met your friends for life?" above a group of mixed-sex vaguely photogenic types of young people, and then went into a blurb about watching out for symptoms of meningitis in these "friends for life" (snicker). I thought it was a laughable joke even when I saw it then.

This thread, among many that I have read, gives me the impression that we are socialised into having a far higher expectation of 'friends' than the reality ever affords to anyone. I have never felt the need to continue an acquaintanceship for any longer than was absolutely necessary. When I have finished in a situation, for example finishing a course at college or moving to a new job, it seems only natural to forget about those people I had any contact with in that situation.

In grade school and high school I tended to have no friends at all. Occasionally I would have a "best friend" that, in hindsight, was usually a compulsive liar, and I bought it all hook line and sinker. What a pair, eh? They kept me around because of whatever sick need they had to fib all the time.

Then, In college I tended to have many friends, but all of them more acquaintances. I tend to talk way too much so about the only way I could remain social at all was to spread the wealth among many groups. That way people tended not to get sick of me as often as they might have otherwise.

Apres collge i have tended back to having virtually no friends. I have one friend, he lives 20+ hours drive away. We call each other occasionally to have special interest fests, as we have both memorized more VW minutae than two people should ever know.

I have recently made one more friend in town, but we will see how long that lasts. I have a knack for making people want to go the other way.

So, to summarize: Lots of superficial friends, as my photographic memory, witty repartee, knowledge ,of current events and trivia, and command of the english language can make me an endearing party guest. As I tend to be a one trick pony and never become interested in hearing why they are upset that aunt bertha doesn't call anymore, greater exposure leads to disenchantment.

Thankfully with age, and since I have removed casein and gluten from my diet, I am becoming more able to listen and actually hear other people. If you have AS I recommend removing these two diet items for a month and seeing if you feel more clearheaded.

peas,

Jester

i would also reccomend this, i have never eaten cheese products, but since removing sources of gluten from my diet, i have definitely become more "clear-headed", and have noticed that my interpersonal conduct is decidedly more "normal".
my downfall, however is beer, every so often i drink it and end up babbling nonsense for hours.
i try and limit my alcohol intake to spirits and wine, but its not easy at all.

By gluten I guess that means wheat protein. I do not see how I could live without wheat? And I love milk,ice cream, cheese. I've heard these suggestion
before. I've heard the same thing about fish oil for ADHD(which I take) .
I think I will need some science on gluten free & casien free diets before
I take that extreme life style change. Fish oil is not a wonder for ADHD but it has
alot of other benifits.

yes, any grains containing gluten you have to avoid. wheat, rye, barley and oats are the main ones. you also have to beware of certain types of vinegar, soy sauce, processed food ingredients etc.

as for casein, i'm not totally sure, as i don't eat any dairy food anyway, but i think you just need to avoid anything containing or made from milk (butter, cheese, cream, ice cream, certain flavourings etc.)

it wasn't that hard for me to do, as i already have somewhat unorthodox dietary habits. i would definitely say its worth trying, even if just for a while to see how it goes.

http://osiris.sunderland.ac.uk/autism/dietinfo.html

http://www.neurodiversity.com/gluten.html

hemp seeds are also good, i believe they are the richest known source of EFA's and have a perfect ratio of omega3 and 6 for human dietary requirements.
http://www.innvista.com/health/foods/hemp/seedmedi.htm

Well, I eat soy and rice ice cream all the time, covered with marshmallow sauce, chocolate sprinkles etc. I have hazelnut and almond milk on my corn flakes, which tastes better to me than cow milk ever did. As for fake cheese, it is all a bit off, but by the time you try all of them, you won't remember the real thing anyway so you can pick the least bad

It was obvious I was allergic to dairy, but with wheat I wasn't so sure, and I went to my Dr. and they said try not eating it for a while and then eat it again & see what happens. My digestive distress went away right away, but I only noticed when I ate wheat again that it triggers my histamine response, and makes my eyes burn, makes me wheeze, post nasal drip, eyes that feel like sandpaper, the whole nine yards. If you are allergic stopping for a week then starting again will make it obvious.

So, it isn't a drastic lifestyle change. It is one week or two of being super careful, then go to a bakery and get the wheatiest heaviest whole grain thing they have and see what happens. Do the same thing for a week with dairy. If you feel enough better you will learn how to adjust. If you don't feel better, then no need to try again.



Yep, do a controlled experiment for a limited time, then you can decide wether or not to eat these things with some self knowledge as to the benefit or lack thereof that may result from implementing such a drastic long term lifestyle change.

a similar thing happened to me, after two weeks with no intake of gluten at all, i ate a sandwich of dark rye sourdough bread. within five or ten minutes, i felt quite intoxicated, with a sensation of cloudiness of thought and irritability, and my eyes became heavy, with a general inability to focus my vision or my thoughts.
although it is pertinent to point out the difference between allergic reaction, which might tend to cause physical symptoms such as digestive complaints and the wheezing sensation and postnasal drip you mentioned, and the toxicological reaction which is postulated as a factor in autistic spectrum disorders. perhaps you personally experience both.

I think I probably do have both, but that is lucky as I think quitting the dairy is what cleared my head up enough that I really started trying to learn why I had so many problems.

You are right on the symptoms similar to being drunk too. Sometimes it gives me headaches as well. Recently, We were on vacation and I got an eggroll with a wheat wrapper, and I could barely drive! Just a little bit of wheat and I turn into an idiot. I wonder how I ever drove like that, I must have been a danger to others! Imagine what I was like after a big cheese pizza.

Years ago I would eat fettucine alfredo for lunch and be in an absolute stupor the rest of the day. I thought maybe I was diabetic as all that sugar makes them tired. I got tested & didn't have that so kind of said oh well and gave up.

peas,

Jester

If I weren't addicted to Shredded Wheat, I'd try this.


Still might, eventually.

Yeah. I always had plenty of friends but never any really close ones. It was really lonely.