I don't trust my friends.

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I don't know what is up with this but it seems like I just can't trust any one of my friends. Like one for example, she blew me off the other night, now I just don't know if she is my friend or not. I see her hanging with her friends the day after and I just get paranoid. Why them and not me? It has been going on for a while with this one person. Please help anyway you can.

I'd drop her like a hot potato if she's always avoiding you. A good friend would at least talk about the issues rather than avoid them altogether, IMO.

ANy advice I can give is annoyingly easier said than done. The best you can do is be nonchalant and see what happens. I find this difficult to pull of myself, ha. I've gotten crazy paranoid when I haven't had calls answered/returned. I hate it.

so many people have CLAIMED to be my friend... and then deceive me--- that I am now suspicious of almost everyone. I wish i could trust people... but it is hard. I onlt trust a few close people, and this is unlikely to change. maybe I just project the type of person people like to mess with. But it is not nice. I try to be nice. why can't others do likewise?

I have a few friends now, (more than I ever did at school), and I enjoy meeting up with them when we do, and I like doing social activities like bowling and going to the cinema, and having lunch out, and the more there are of us, the more I love it, especially if they include me in conversations, like looking at me aswell whilst talking, asking me relevant questions, laughing with me, ect.
But there is one thing, though. I love the few friends I have, but I - sort of - don't trust them. There is only one friend I trust, but how I'm friends with him in what sort of way is a long story to explain here, so I won't go all into that. And I have a friend who is quite Autistic who is trustful aswell, but although he's on the spectrum he is still a very different person from me. He's more confident than me, and he just has different life circumstances than I do.
But otherwise, the friends I have are very nice, mature grown-ups - but (I know most Aspies think all NTs are socially perfect) but let me give you a word of advice: they're not. It may look like they are because of their increased ability to jump into social situations without feeling socially awkward, bored or confused, but they can still be nasty when they want, and they still can turn against you for no reason. My own mum has figured that out with people, and she's NT. Even my 19 year old cousin, who is the most ''typical'' NT I know has actually experienced bullying from some of her friends, and has even spent 2 weeks sitting in her room crying and feeling lonely - and normally she's really popular and socially confident and attends parties every week-end (she's OK now, but one of her friends is still trying her best to make life hard for my cousin).

But with me I just keep on thinking that one of my friends are going to suddenly turn and not want to know me any more, and I am afraid of losing friends, because don't like being socially behind everyone else. I watch films where characters are interacting with their friends, and I get so jealous. Last spring I had a boyfriend, but the relationship didn't last long, all because his friend (who I didn't even know) told him that I was seen holding hands with another guy - which I was NOT, and of course my boyfriend believed his friend because they were obviously friends longer than he had ever known me, and he then texted me saying, ''my friend told me that you was seen hand in hand with another bloke - I thought I could trust you!'' and all of that, and it was my word against theirs, and he never believed me (and God knows how his friend knows who I am, because I had never seen him before, and my boyfriend didn't have any pictures of me or anything), so I figured out that his friend must have just been making up s**t about me, which is a bit silly for someone of, like, 30. (See - NTs again! Some don't grow up and be really nice, empathetic people!) So the relationship ended by something what was not even my fault, nor nothing to do with some of my poor social skills. By the way, he's still texting me and asking me out now, but I keep saying that I just want to be friends, but obviously I haven't told him that I've gone off him and that I'm afraid that what happened before might happen again.

Not knowing the situation, it's not possible to say much. That, however, won't stop me from trying.

You may be worrying too much about details. At your age, I assumed every change in behavior meant something. That if my friends disappeared for a week that this meant they had left me forever. Getting older has the advantage that you discover that friendships are rarely that fragile. Much to my surprise, I discovered that old friends from high school remembered me fondly and were quite happy to get back together with me.

I used to go crazy when someone I cared about was distant and uncommunicative. But I eventually recognized that there are times when even I need a break from certain people and that doesn't mean I don't ever want to see them again. It just means I need a few days away. Your friends have the same sort of reactions.

It may be uncomfortable. You may want their company when they want to be alone or with some other person. But sometimes you just have to accept that they need some space. Don't let them drift away for too long since after a bit of time and distance, sometimes people who genuinely like you may feel awkward about contacting you. But also don't put them in the position of feeling smothered by your company either.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, despite appearances, your friends still like you. They may want a broader range of friends than you do and sometimes feel the need to associate with other people, but that doesn't mean they don't want and need your company.

I hope this helps.

For an Aspie, I am quite good at keeping friendships at a normal balanced level, and I talk to them on facebook. I don't see them every single week, enough to make it look like I'm a serious pressure on them. Anyway, it takes two to make up a good friendship - it's not just all on one or all on the other. My friends contact me as much as I contact them, and I (more so) like my own space and like to spend time with other people (eg my family) as much as they do.

I just don't get it, though. I thought I read somewhere that NTs don't like being alone? And also, how come some of these people I meet are always seen with one particular best friend? Don't they give eachother space? How come it's OK for NTs to do certain things, but if an Aspie does it it's wrong?