Having an opinion

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Just makes people argue with me and yell at me more.

And it's not a simple 'I disagree with you' it's more of a 'how can you say anything so offensive?' or 'you're a goddamn moron' type of reaction.

I have one friend and I can't even have a civilized conversation with them. I don't even want to socialise but people think I should.

I'm so f***ing over it.

I get it often when i get a little optimistic, maybe this time things will be differnt. Maybe the person has grown/changed whatever and i can bring up this subject for discussion without him telling me: I worry too much, YOu think too much, Stop caring what other people think, How can you not go crazy with thinking that much. Is the general outcome when i make an attempt at pushing a specific relationship forward. But i gues i will just have to accept that certain people just DONT want to hear about anything except the standard easy going light gossip talk.

I don't mind an argument if i'm passionate about something.
Well, more a discussion than an argument, i guess.

But if i don't have a strong opinion i find it easier to just not share it - it's often easier to let people believe what they want and don't challenge it. - even if you think they're wrong.

Unfortunately, a lot of people see opinions as personal attacks. I find this is especially true if they hold onto their own opinions based on emotion rather than facts. If you try to counteract their incorrect assumptions with actual facts, it makes them very angry.

I've also encountered situations in which expressing even very mild opinions (like saying you like a certain song for instance) that are different from the other person's is seen as disloyal. The person might not get angry, outright, but they will sulk and feel like they have been slighted somehow.

I don't know what the solution is other than stop expressing opinions? I don't think I would be able to do that, but I do try to be more careful and diplomatic than I have been in the past.

This is a big issue for me.
I find it's easy enough to have relationships with people if I stick to how's-the-weather, you-look-great type conversations.
But what kind of a friendship is that? A shallow, sucky, walking-on-eggshells friendship?
I like to DISCUSS things with people. Politics, religion, current events, history, science, etc. I'm very opinionated, but I also really enjoy hearing other peoples' thoughts and opinions. That seems impossible with most people. They get mad if we don't hold the exact same view. They start launching personal attacks that have nothing to do with the topic. I could understand this somewhat when I was younger, but I am now well into adulthood and I still continually encounter people who are incapable of exchanging ideas without mudslinging.
That is one of the things I love about WP. People discuss things here without getting constantly peeved at one another.

What if you are saying things that are actually quite stupid and offensive? Or maybe people misinterpret your words. It would be easier to understand the situation if you discussed a specific instance of this happening.

I think the problem is that this person is a 37 years old who still acts like a teenager. They talk like someone around my own age which irritates me. You can't have serious conversations with them without getting interrupted with a 'LOL' or 'fail'. In another thread I said that this is a person that speaks their mind constantly, even yelling out insults in public about people in close proximity.

I don't use the word stupid because it is a broad statement that has completely lost all meaning so anyone who says anything so vague I have no time for. I don't talk like this to my friend. She would have a field day with making fun of me. I'm not even sure if I should call her a friend. I always seem to attract the very arrogant and people who constantly mock others to me, or end up mocking me. And I think I'm over knowing people like that.

Last night I was hyperactive and impulsive but really people know that I'm autistic (not AS) and have ADHD. I was finally enjoying my hyperactivity yesterday until that encounter. I don't feel I have enough social awareness to even stop myself from saying something offensive and I usually do have strong opinions about most issues. I don't even notice when I begin arguing with my own mother.

I don't have deep and meaningful conversations with this person. They just joke around or bring up their very overly opinionated opinions and I just give up.

I can relate to this..........I think my close friend of over two years from high school stopped talking to me because my opinions on certain things offended her...........

I have so many people like this around me. I just don't bother to shut my mouth now.

An interesting argument i had with someone a week ago went like this.

Other person (OP): Children can't have anything hot because they WILL get nappy rash.
Me (M): My children have eaten hot food since the day i started solids and they have never had nappy rash.
OP: You are lying. I know you are because my son always get nappy rash if anything is the least bit hot.
M: So all the children in the middle east and asia whose parents feed them off their plates and have communal meals from the day the child starts solids, have nappy rash?
OP: You are making stuff up.
M: "You can have your own opinion, even if it is wrong."


I have found a good come back though which i tend to repeat to anyone who tries this stuff. "You can have your own opinion, even if it is wrong." This is probably why i don't have many friends. Meh.

To one person I said, "Look, I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong."

The over-reaction type of people who personally attack you for having an opinion are not people that I keep in my life. I create immediate distance because I don't want that in my life at all. Mind you, I haven't had to do this often at all. I can think of three, maybe four, people. In 33 years of knowing people, that's not bad. Most people do have communication skills, or you learn how to hold your tongue in certain situations where sharing certain opinions aren't appropriate.

For example: I don't have to start ranting about how Gov Rick Scott is destroying the Medicaid and Medicare programs in Florida in a discussion with a lady about finding the right doctor. It was going through my mind, but I didn't say it. But if I did say it, and they disagreed with me, I would expect them to say, "Oh, I don't think that's true. The problem is more about [what they think is really behind the issue]." Then, having both of us said our peace, it would be my place to find a middle ground statement that neutralizes the disagreement so we leave that topic on a happy note. I would never expect or accept someone replying to my anti-Scott comment with a personal insult against me and if someone did act that way, I'd never have contact with them again. If we knew mutual people, I'd probably tell them how I was treated by this person. BUT it's likely that I can side-step the whole thing by just keeping that discussion neutral and sharing opinions that I already know will be well-received.

I don't censor in the same way with friends, mind you. But friends should never respond to you in such an aggressive way, either. I mean, friends are people you should be able to trust and feel comfortable enough around to always share an opinion.