Fighting and Making Friends

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In the Epic of Gilgamesh, two men had a huge fight. After the fight was over, they became inseparable friends.

I once had a dog (female, spayed) who was large, fuzzy, and friendly toward everyone she met. I got a second dog (female, not spayed) who was a small poodle. When I introduced the dogs to each other, the smaller one saw the bigger one, freaked out, and became really aggressive. Weirdly, the little dog was so aggressive that she could actually bully the big fuzzy dog into doing anything the little dog wanted. Finally the big fuzzy dog got fed up. This culminated in a very intense "argument" between the dogs where I honestly feared for the little dog's life. After that, they were friends. They didn't leave each other's side EVER after that.

What is it that makes people (and animals) become friends after they fight? Can anybody explain this to me?

i dont know, i have had plenty of these experiences though. FIght wether it be verbal or physical and shake hands afterwards like nothing happened.

my guess it that it has something to do with 'worthyness'.
if you are about an equal match in a fight, the other person will not easily overthrow you to become the only alfa-male, while still being strong enough to protect you should you be unable to protect yourself (ilness or injury).
still, the exact reason why a fight is needed is beyond me, but this is one reason from the animal kingdom that seems to make sense to me.

Maybe next time I want to make a friend I should just pick a fight with somebody.

Sometimes it is necessary...
Maybe it needs to happen to know each others strengths and weaknesses?

[quote="izzeme"]my guess it that it has something to do with 'worthyness'.if you are about an equal match in a fight, the other person will not easily overthrow you to become the only alfa-male, while still being strong enough to protect you should you be unable to protect yourself (ilness or injury).
still, the exact reason why a fight is needed is beyond me, but this is one reason from the animal kingdom that seems to make sense to me.[/quote]

I also think that if someone wants to fight you (but isn't bullying you or anything) that they're trying to "size you up" to see whether you're weak or not, whether you're worthy of their friendship. This kind of thing happened to me in elementary school. I'd fight with another kid, and then we'd become friends (well, sort of).

I know that with dogs, it could be a simple miscommunication. Maybe one dog saw something in the other dog's body language, like raised ears or a lip twitch. The small dog could've overreacted as a result. There is a tendency for smaller breeds to have anxiety aggression and not have the same appeasement and conflict resolution strategies that bigger dogs have. This could either be a result of genetics or environment, but that's a nature vs. nurture debate for another time.

With humans it's completely different story, but I've seen fights start over simple misunderstandings, especially online. Someone gets over-defensive and the whole thing is started. Then if they realize their mistake they'll do the appeasement ritual and may become friends over the shared experience.