My life is sheltered. My friends lives are not.

Post Reply New Topic

My parents are a minority in that they know how to keep a sucessful marrage running in the face of adversity, they know how to handle money, balance work and family lives, and let their children make their own choices while teaching them that rules are important. Ive always known that my parents love me, and they always will. And im even getting married, to my first boyfriend, I've never felt what it is like to get my heart broken by someone.
The only "bad egg" in the household is a daughter with autism (me) and the only actually bad thing to happen to us is a major housefire that displaced us for a few months. (No one got hurt in the fire except my cat, I'll miss you Licorish. RIP)

I dont want to sound snooty or vain, so please bear with me for a moment.

None of my friends are as, (for lack of a better word) lucky as I am with their personal lives. They cant relate to their parents, they dont have as much money as my family. they've had to know what it is like to have their parents divorce eachother or abandon the family. Some of them live in a real broken home.

I want to offer any help I can, but would that insult them? I could offer support, but how do I do that? CAN I help if I dont know what it feels like to have horrible things happen to me on a regular basis?

Just had a thought, since the man that I am marrying dosent have much money, I will have to change my lifestyle from luxurious to poorer, and how do I ready myself for that? I would give up anything for my love, even if it means that I would have to change myself. But what changes are needed to move from rich to poor? I dont have much experince dealing with hard times, am I too soft? How do I look out for myself?

I can't really help with the understanding friendship part. I think sometimes you're supposed to say things like, "I'm here for you if you ever want to talk," and that's not rude. Or if they're upset and crying, no matter how ridiculous it may seem, it's good to hug them.

As for the poor part, it sounds like you may need to make a budget. There are applications you can put on your phone, or budget books you can get at the office supply store. Write down where you spend every cent for a month or two, as well as whatever money you have coming in. Then you can see places that would be reasonable to cut back.

Marrying into a poorer home can lead to friction later on
Initially there would be love to keep you together
But after the kids come love flies out and reality strikes

so think twice