Successfully managed to tick off every single neighbor...hmm

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So we moved to these apartments by the beach. Everyone was always outside playing and talking to each other. It seemed ok at first, but I have little tolerance for people telling me how I should live, etc...and so now it seems that none of my neighbors will talk to me anymore. I am so tired of being made to be the bad one. I know my social skills are not the best, but I also don't understand why I'm the problem.

1. One neighbor constantly lets her dog run around and poop all over the yard...the yard where ALL the kids run around, play ball and walk barefoot because it's a beach apartment...tons of neighbors have complained when we talk, but of course, I am the only one who said "people who allow that have no consideration of others...and that is just bad manners". Her kid used to come to my apartment all the time to play with my son, I didn't mind most of the time. But I was getting tired of the mom and dad and brother and grandmother being in their 3rd floor apartment all day, never checking up on the kid (most kids don't go up there) and constantly having this kid at my house because we are on the first floor and leave the door open to let the air in. Once she even came by and told her son to STAY HERE while she went to walk on the beach. She didn't ask my husband nor I if it was ok, she just assumed it was ok. Last time her son came I told him he could not come in because that was the day that my dog died. We were all pretty upset and needed time alone. She is now ticked off at ME! PS - she is always telling me that I should not homeschool, that I should dress nicer, that I should do my hair and make up for my husband, etc...WTH?

2. Another neighbor once asked me to do a video for her niece...it was a present from her to her niece. I edited hundreds of pictures and a couple of hours of video. It took me over a week to do, working mostly all day. She did nothing. Later I found out through her husband she charged someone 300USD for MY VIDEO and that it was NOT her niece. Another day her grandson who is 5 came over with bruises on his face. I thought he had gotten hurt or another kid hit him, so my husband and I went to her house to make sure all was ok. Come to find out, her 30yr old son beat the boy (his son) at HER APARTMENT but she did nothing. Two days later CPS was in her home and she told everyone that I called them. I did NOT call them, although had I been sure of what happened at the time, I would have. Her, her husband and grown son are always inside their 2nd story apartment with the 5yr old grandson running around all day and night. Again, usually at MY home. Once my husband was at the beach with our son and her grandson was at the beach. My husband told him to go home. He did not. Another neighbor then took him and brought him inside the gates. 20 mins later the kid was out again. The neighbor told the grandparents. They did nothing. They said to tell him to come inside. When my husband was finished, he just came into the apartment complex. 20 minutes later she's at my door screaming at my husband because HE left HER grandson at the beach...told everyone this!! ! Of course, I have no tolerance for that. Now guess what? Yep! I'm the bad guy because I barely say hi to her anymore after all the crap she's talked about my husband and I when she is the one taking advantage of us and not taking care of her grandkid.

3. My other neighbor whom I adored is friends with neighbor 2. I have always been nice to her and her daughter (who has NO friends here and is 12). She was BEAT by her husband who gave her a black eye! Everyone knew except me. 5 mos later she returns and I am nice to her like nothing happened. On the contrary, I don't talk to her husband because he once tried to also tell me that I should stay home all day, not be walking around and that it was ok for my husband to be out playing tennis and drinking because he was a man. I told him that if my son or I did anything to him in his home, or in public, to please let me know...but inside MY home, it was MY business. He is also always saying he is going to hang himself from the balcony. I told a good friend (that I do trust...) that if I ever saw him hanging there, I would be the first one to cut the rope...that it was pathetic that a grown man would think of such a thing and talk about such a thing in front of kids, and think of doing that since there are over 30 little kids here that run around everyday...how selfish he would be to do that and not care about all the kids. Well, all of a sudden his wife, which I have always been nice to me stopped talking to me too! She is buddies with crazy lady #2.

My husband last week told me that it was MY fault that I was so hateful that I have "hurt" everyone's feelings. I don't see how I am hurting ANYONE! They take advantage of me, they beat their wives, they beat their kids, they allow their dogs to poop everywhere, they tell me how I should live MY life (which does not impact them - whether I cook or not, do my hair and make-up, homeschool, etc...) and I am supposed to NOT be offended and just smile back because if I say something I offend them?

Honestly, I don't get this BS NT social skills crap. I absolutely hate this place now. I have nowhere to go and everyday I am filled with stress.

Do you think I am wrong? I honestly don't see why I am wrong. I am not two faced. I do not go talk about people and then smile at them. I do not take advantage of ANYONE and then go smile at them.

Please help!

Behaving this way is likely what theyre used to what they grew up with and apparantly after 30/40 years its still hard to say screw this and everyone part of it i want to be an honest proud respectful person. Even though people around me still try to spread a poisonous attitude on others i will not be a part of that. It can be hard to be that person, it would be easier to go along with everyone else and adopt their behaviour.
This behaviour seems normal to a lot of people but it is not, its just so hard not to get dragged down by others when you are so heavily into social interaction. This is a draw back to being normal and a plus for being an autsider because you cant be influenced by people as easily.

Sounds like a nightmare. If I was in the same situation, I'd never get that involved with people to start with, so I don't really know how to help.

Smile and say "hi" as I walk past, and thats it.

I don't think you have been unreasonable. Sounds like you're surrounded by careless idiots who can't mind their own business.

social circles can be very weird.....this one is childish, rude,dumb(needless beating of children shows mental incompatiance), and not worth your time.it sucks at the moment but let them be the way they are, protect your kids and in time you will be thankfull you don't have to deal w/ them as much.
when i see people take advantage of me and/or people i distance myself because i can't stand it and no matter what i do i know there is little i can do about other peoples insecuritys.

You are neither rude nor wrong. You are setting appropriate boundaries for what behavior from others you will or will not accept. If people are so clueless that they feel YOU are in the wrong for calling them on their crap, and then they attempt to punish you for it by social ostracism, that simply indicates their lack of maturity. Although it may hurt temporarily, in the long run you are probably better off that these people stay away from you. They can always start hassling your spouse to do things for them for free, LOL! Communal living is hard, especially when children are involved. But if you get the reputation of being "mean old Mrs. So-and-So," so be it...you're tough and you can handle that moniker!

Sounds like you live around a pack of a**holes. I would avoid all the people near your apartment like they had the plague. As for the suicide guy I think you were spot on what you said what type of dick says stuff like that around children? Next time he talks about suicide infront of children try to get him on video saying it and show it to the police they will hassel him enough he might keep his thoughts to himself.

The neighbours sound like immature, uneducated, low-class people who gets their kicks out of daily drama, gossip and confrontations. I have had neighbours like this previously, and it's better off not to be involved with them at all. People like this aren't stable enough to have good relationships with. Oddly, the more sarcastic you become towards them, the less you help them, the better they will treat you. If you were threatening to hang yourself off the balcony every day, everyone would like you.

I see reasons for your neighbors to be angry, but not for them to direct their anger at you, and I really don't understand how the person who knows you best, your husband, could blame it on you. I took that one personally, as I respond to emotional irrationality by consistently behaving with as much balance as I can. In a fairly healthy social setting, I've had good results with that strategy eventually. People get to know me, and most come around to supporting the more sane person. This place sounds ill, seriously ill. Try to set the record straight with your husband? I feel for you, and I know we can't do much over the internet except stand with you, but that we do. I hope you take strength from the support here at WP.

I can't understand your neighbours behaviour but I can understand their want to blame someone else for their problems.

Although I'm really puzzeled by your husband, it would indicate (to me) that he doesn't understnd that majority doesn't equate correct. Have you told your husband your side of things? If you have, I don't know how a sane person could blame you for your neighbours being nuts.

If I was in your situation, I'd probably have handled it far worse than you have because I wouldn't have the social skills to deal with the unjust behaviour on their part.

Sounds like you just have crappy neighbors.

1. Inconsiderate jerk to lets her dog poop in the common area (probably in violation of local ordinances and apartment rules).

2. A liar and a cheat who defrauded you into doing free work for something she sold on the market. A criminal act. Oh, and an abusive household to boot.

3. Spousal abuse victim and her husband who obviously has not figured out how to get out of being involved with abusive people.

I hope the deal you got on rent and utilities is worth it.

Do as I do: I don't consider neighbours to be people. They are strangers to me. I don't greet them (unless they greet me first), I don't borrow things to them, I don't bother with them. In fact, I don't even know if they are nice people or not: I simply don't care.

You probably have hurt their feelings (or rather, injured their pride), but sorry, it sounds like someone had to. What a pack of obnoxious jerks! Not that it will do a lot of good- nobody likes feeling judged (especially by a person they themselves are judging)

I guess the 'NT' thing to do would be to just turn a blind eye/say nothing to preserve harmony. Some people tend to just avoid people they dislike rather than call them out on it, and they're better at choosing who to gossip to (i,e. not mutual friends). Of course fallings out are very common too!

It's probably best to just stay polite and distant- I cannot see any other way of living beside people like this! And don't do any favours above lending them the occasional cup of sugar!

Holy cow. Just...wow.

This behavior is completely unacceptable. Think of it this way: What would happen if YOU did this stuff?

Unfortunately, there are NTs who behave this way. Why? Who knows. But the problem is that once you're an 'enemy', you will always be an 'enemy'. It's time to leave.

Start by looking for a new home. (I'd look for a big-city home, since cities tend to have support groups and better resources for neuroatypicals, but really, just pick your favorite place to live. This is your life. ) Pack your things and move away.

While you're in the process of moving, shut your front door. Don't talk to anyone. If they come over demanding to know why, simply say, "I do not want to talk to you. I do not want to talk to anyone. Please respect my wishes. If you don't, I will call the police and get a restraining order". DO NOT try to explain yourself. That will just lead you into another argument. They are not worth your explanations in any way.

It's also time to sit your husband down and have a long talk. This is the point where you need to have a serious relationship check; what he said was out of line, and could be a warning sign of a much more serious situation. When you're totally calm, take your husband to a coffee shop or somewhere neutral. Ask him why he said those things. Ask him what he felt. Remember to stay calm; you're looking for answers, not judging. Once you have those answers, explain to him that, while he is entitled to his opinions, he needs to a) express them in a non-harmful way, and b) support you if you're having problems, not blame you.

I wish I could say I was just being paranoid, but I'm not. I've met and dealt with several people like this. If you do not stay calm and be the adult at all times, then you will end up very, very badly hurt. And if your husband continues the emotional attacks, you need to seek help, because that can very easily lead to abuse, and you may not be able to tell when a situation gets out of hand.

I really, really hope you end up okay. Is it okay if I give you an Internet hug? Sounds like you need it.

Damn....

Sounds like someone forgot to pick up the trash... I suggest you think of a good way to get back on those bastards, if you know somebody who can hack their comps doing some damage it would be good, or do some evil graffiti on their door or something... IDK you can't just let that insolence unnoticed.

Nope, not you at all. It's them. You just have bad neighbors.