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Solvejg
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28 May 2011, 5:20 pm

I am starting to hang out with people i haven't seen for around 8 years. I have kind of isolated myself and should be making friends and stuff. I have just slotted back into a group of people i knew a long time ago.

I went and played chess at this really camp guys house. A few other people turned up who i used to be friends with and one i used to date. The woman jumped on my lap and kissing and nusling my neck. I stood up and pushed her off. i wasn't interested in her overtures. I was told i was too harsh in my reaction by my old friends.

They have all invited themselves over to my house tonight. I don't like people in my space at the best of times but i can't really say no.

There will be drinking as well as cheesy board games. I know this woman will try stuff when she has had a few and i am confused how to act when she does. In the past i would have just been like "sweet sex." now i don't feel that way.

What do I do? :?


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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28 May 2011, 5:26 pm

Wow... they invited themselves to your house?


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Solvejg
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28 May 2011, 5:30 pm

It was like this "Sovejg what are you doing sunday night?" "umm i have no plans." "Oh we will come over for some drinks."


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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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28 May 2011, 5:59 pm

I think you've read it well. It's a former relationship you're no longer interested in pursuing.



Solvejg
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28 May 2011, 6:05 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
I've think you've read it well. It's a former relationship you're no longer interested in pursuing.


I am just confused about what i am meant to do if she jumps on me again. She was very rough last time and even left a hicky on my neck.

I was told my reaction was too severe last time by standing up and pushing her off me. What are my other options though? Even a few months ago i would have just gone with it. Now i don't want to and i have never been in this situation before.

Very confused :?


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curlyfry
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28 May 2011, 6:15 pm

Maybe don't have to much too offer them when they come over that usually keeps my son's freeloading friends away. Don't feel bad about how you reacted. If you have changed your lifestyle you need not make excuses. If they really cared about you they would be supportive. I hope things don't get too uncomfortable.



Solvejg
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28 May 2011, 6:27 pm

curlyfry wrote:
Maybe don't have to much too offer them when they come over that usually keeps my son's freeloading friends away. Don't feel bad about how you reacted. If you have changed your lifestyle you need not make excuses. If they really cared about you they would be supportive. I hope things don't get too uncomfortable.


So i didn't over react? I am just not sure the social proticol for when i person is trying to have their way with you but you don't want it. :?


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USMCnBNSFdude
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28 May 2011, 6:30 pm

Solvejg wrote:
It was like this "Sovejg what are you doing sunday night?" "umm i have no plans." "Oh we will come over for some drinks."

well that's not rude at all...



Solvejg
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28 May 2011, 6:36 pm

USMCnBNSFdude wrote:
Solvejg wrote:
It was like this "Sovejg what are you doing sunday night?" "umm i have no plans." "Oh we will come over for some drinks."

well that's not rude at all...


i can't see how it is rude. maybe a cultural thing. They will all bring their own drinks and food. :?


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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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28 May 2011, 6:41 pm

Solvejg wrote:
AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
I've think you've read it well. It's a former relationship you're no longer interested in pursuing.


I am just confused about what i am meant to do if she jumps on me again. She was very rough last time and even left a hicky on my neck.

I was told my reaction was too severe last time by standing up and pushing her off me. . .

She kind of did something very direct and forward and you kind of had to do something direct in return.

Is there a mutual friend you could ask to just tell her, 'He has moved on.' And if necessary, 'He likes you as far as a friend and a person. But as far as a relationship, that's in the past.' (And the simpler, the better. The briefer, the better. Still polite of course. The if-necessary part only as backup.)



USMCnBNSFdude
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28 May 2011, 7:02 pm

Solvejg wrote:
USMCnBNSFdude wrote:
Solvejg wrote:
It was like this "Sovejg what are you doing sunday night?" "umm i have no plans." "Oh we will come over for some drinks."

well that's not rude at all...


i can't see how it is rude. maybe a cultural thing. They will all bring their own drinks and food. :?

I meant it was kinda rude to just say "We will come over to your house" without asking, like "Can we come over to your house?".



TeaEarlGreyHot
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28 May 2011, 7:17 pm

Solvejg wrote:
curlyfry wrote:
Maybe don't have to much too offer them when they come over that usually keeps my son's freeloading friends away. Don't feel bad about how you reacted. If you have changed your lifestyle you need not make excuses. If they really cared about you they would be supportive. I hope things don't get too uncomfortable.


So i didn't over react? I am just not sure the social proticol for when i person is trying to have their way with you but you don't want it. :?


There is no correct protocol. If you made it clear you did not want her advances and she wouldn't stop, it's perfectly acceptable to do whatever you have to to make them stop.


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Solvejg
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28 May 2011, 9:55 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Solvejg wrote:
curlyfry wrote:
Maybe don't have to much too offer them when they come over that usually keeps my son's freeloading friends away. Don't feel bad about how you reacted. If you have changed your lifestyle you need not make excuses. If they really cared about you they would be supportive. I hope things don't get too uncomfortable.


So i didn't over react? I am just not sure the social proticol for when i person is trying to have their way with you but you don't want it. :?


There is no correct protocol. If you made it clear you did not want her advances and she wouldn't stop, it's perfectly acceptable to do whatever you have to to make them stop.


I didn't get a chance. I was working out my next chess move and she jumped on me. I just reacted more from instinct and pushed her off while standing up. 8O


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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28 May 2011, 10:38 pm

Solvejg wrote:

I didn't get a chance. I was working out my next chess move and she jumped on me. I just reacted more from instinct and pushed her off while standing up. 8O


It worked, right?


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