How do you socialize and make friends online?

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It seems even people who are shy can at least still make friends and converse online. Which is something I can't do, or don't know how to. How do people socialize online? How do I start a conversation? How do I make it last? How can I keep the person interested, and maybe want to talk to me again?

I wish I wasn't such a boring person, which this sort of proves.

Hi there,

usually a conversation online starts with a simple 'hi'. You can try this on facebook or myspace or somewhere else.
People usually respond on your hi and you can start asking some questions like 'How are you' or you can ask what music they like or what kind of food they prefer; which movies they like or if they are interested in games, sport, etc. Maybe you will find out a hobby you have in common with them. If people respond only with: hmm, really, ahh, yeah... that means usually they are bored and not interested right now or they have probably the same problem like you.
You can listen in chat rooms and see how other people act there. Usually everything starts with this 'hi', 'how are you' and 'what's up' thing.

I found out the easiest way is to wait until people choose me to talk to. Those usually have an interest in you as a human being and won't let you easily down if you gain them as a friend. If they start liking you there's no need to make them interested in you; they are interested just because you are the way you are or they never will.
Important is that you give them attention from time to time. If you don't know what to say just say: 'Hi, how are you?' It's not about how long you talk with them is more about how often. A friendship always needs at least one who cares and one who can trust.

Finding friends is hard for me; I am interested on a deeper friendship but I found out people are only interested on superficial communication and not on a long term friendship. Even if they tell you quite private things don't mean they are good or close friends. I found out if things aren't the way they expect it to be they just move on and replace me.

There are only a few people on this planet who really will like and love you and if you meet them you will realise it. Between real friends is always a tie, something what attracts them. People are like music, we feel attracted by their sound and when we learn their lyrics we get to know them.

I'm quite boring I think. People don't search for my company that often, I think they do this if they wish someone who listens and gives advice. That's just the way I am; I can be fun around people as well but I have to feel really comfortable with them.

The hardest part is to trust people, I think trust grows with time. If you are ever in doubt about someone, get aloof. Look who runs behind you, who does an effort to stay in your life. This are the most realiable people because they really want your friendship and they see something in you what yourself probably can't recognise. Many people have trusting issues but you can only learn to trust if you put your trust in someone.

There are friends outside, find out for yourself what you want. Just try and be brave, they don't really know you so you have nothing to lose, you can only win a friend and if you have luck you win an alliance for a lifetime. The problem is if you really start feeling close to someone you fear losing them. Every friendship, every relationship can hurt you. I was told it's better to have loved and got hurt than never loved at all.

If someone doesn't like you or wishes to befriend you, hurts you or misjudges you say this to yourself: 'It's their own fault if they don't want to get to know me. They just miss out one of the most awesome and loyal friends on this planet.'

I wish you good luck and try
I hope it's not too confused, I just wrote what I found on my mind. Just ask if you have more questions

I've been wondering the same thing.

I used to play online games several years ago, and even then, I was very poor at conversing online, just about as bad as I am in person.

I agree with the fact that if people only respond with "hmm, really, ahh, yeah", it will come across as they are bored and not interested. That's all I usually do, and I suppose I give off that impression. Although I usually just don't know what to say.

I'm trying to make an effort to build connections both online and off, but at this point I'm not sure how (I know the theory, just not how to put it into practical application). I don't have any advise for you, just wanted you to know you're not the only one with this problem.

Hi David,
no problem if you have no advice for me but thanks that you said this.
Wish you many success and don't search only for mistakes at yourself when you fail. NT's probably just don't want connect at this level we wish that so keep to people on the spectrum, that's my advice if you want real friends.

I think the fact you are even asking these questions belies more substance than you give yourself credit for. You're probing the structure of this thing that most people take for granted. What else do you probe? Say you probe idea A. Person X over there just said something that might lead you to believe he would be receptive to talking about idea A. So, swallow fear and give it a shot. (Easier said than done, I know)

I'm writing this as an alternative approach to what fallen_angel described. The idea is basically, don't be afraid to cut to the chase. I socialize this way, it feels right to me, and it seems to work ok. I think I come across as benignly strange. (For the most part. Sometimes I am sure I inadvertently come across as a jerk or insensitive)

fallen_angel: you describe yourself as boring. I don't like that word because it assigns blame to you, which I don't feel is accurate. I think this is closer to the truth: you do not resonate with most people. Also, you said "People are like music, we feel attracted by their sound and when we learn their lyrics we get to know them. " - I think that is an interesting, pretty analogy.

I don't.