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BabyYoshi
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12 Jul 2011, 1:10 am

I'm in college and I had a tutor. anyways he would tutor me and he took it a step forward into friendship by saying he wants to hang out and go get pizza and stuff every week (if thats not friendship, then what is?). soon i found out that he was kind of an ass. He ignored my text messages and I asked why he did it and he said "because it wasn't important, or it wasn't interesting, or I was busy." one time he said that I text him stupid stuff and I asked him to check his message and tell me if the message I sent was stupid and he said "oh that wasnt stupid, but I was busy". he was such a liar. anyways I would tell people this stuff but they'd blame me for not understanding his feelings. I ended up just asking him why he didn;t respond and he said "Im not obligated to respond, you're not my dad, and I really am busy!!". I said "i know you're not obligated to respond, that's what makes it nice if you do respond every once in a while. and I know you're not my f-ing dad that's obvious, and it's hard to believe anyone is busy 24/7". but he text me when it came to things about him, like "lets have a tutoring session, or just sign the paper so I can get money" i would do it to be nice. again, i told people this and they said I was the one being selfish.
The last straw was when I asked him if I could use his debit card and give him money for the price of the thing I wanted to buy offline, he did it before. in return i'd give him money and sign the tutor sheet for free. he did it once and 3 weeks later I asked again, and on amazon the card stays on the account and it only shows the last four digits of the card number therefore i couldnt use his card anywhere else. he said you're trying to control my account like it's yours! and I wasnt I was asking. anyways I said, yes or no? and he said "maybe". and I said just tell me yes or no so we can move passed this thing. and he never texted back. I told someone and they said "you should just call him if you wanna get passed this thing, so I called him and I said, hey you never texted back telling me yes or no...and he said "yeah you were bugging me!", so I hung up, and I started ignoring his calls.

he called me at least 15 times and I ignored all of his calls. then I was walking on campus one day and he saw me and called my name and he asked why I was acting so sketchy. and I told him he was acting sketchy and we got in an argument. (i dont care if he says no, its his card, I just wanted an answer yes or no, its not that hard to say).

I told people and they told me I was the one being selfish, and having bad social skills, and not seeing his feelings. I think people who know i have aspergers want me to have friends so desperately that they tell me to kiss someone's ass just to keep them as a friend when he was clearly being an a**hole.

whats you guys' take on this?



dunbots
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12 Jul 2011, 1:15 am

BabyYoshi wrote:
whats you guys' take on this?

By your description, I'd think you two were a couple. :lol:



BillyIdolFan217
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12 Jul 2011, 2:06 am

I totally agree when u said "it's hard to believe anyone is busy 24/7" because people ALWAYS give me that excuse all the time!! Really??? How busy can u possibly be?? It really annoys me! I don't know what being "busy" means so sorry I can't relate!


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TB
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12 Jul 2011, 2:51 am

being busy is just another meaning for you are not a priority.



BillyIdolFan217
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12 Jul 2011, 3:15 am

I know because my brother has a friend that I like as a friend too, and my brother and sister in-law moved to Europe in April so I got close to my brother's friend after he left. Now keep in mind she hung out with my brother 3 or 4 times a week and I only hung with her twice in May! She always tells me she's "too busy" and can't possibly hang out all the time, yet she hung with my brother a few times a week! I know she doesn't wanna hang with me and she's avoiding me! She never gets back to me ever!!


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12 Jul 2011, 4:28 am

I don't know what you were texting him or how often, but it sounds like he's just one of those people who aren't good friends, or perhaps he thought you two could be good friends but then discovered you weren't eachothers' friend type.



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12 Jul 2011, 5:04 am

It doesn't really matter whose fault it was, basically all you can do with someone like this is determine ahead of time that every time he does not outright say "yes" he really means "no," even if he says "maybe".

And if he's so incredibly busy that he can't answer the number of texts you were sending him, then maybe he just doesn't have time for friends -- or is telling you that he doesn't have time for you, specifically.

Always remember this:

Never make someone a priority, if they have made you an option.