Saying Hello first

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I don't often say hello before other people say hello to me first. I've been told the other people think that I'm snubbing them when I do this. I see it as they are busy - I am busy - I don't really like small talk, but there are some people that I will make an effort for and say hello, but really only if they say it first.

Is this common to not say anything before someone says something to you first?

I'm like that.

When I split up from my last girlfriend, one of the things she said was, "You never come round to my house - I always have to come to yours."

"But you've never invited me!" I said, "I thought you wanted the time at home to yourself."

I don't think this thought process and conclusion is logical by NT standards. They'd have gone round anyway, without waiting to be asked.

The thing is, now I see it from her point of view, I must have come across as being a really lazy, arrogant bastard. But I was actually trying to be thoughtful and make her happy. I wish people would explain things better sometimes.

Yeah, I do the same. It's very rare for me to initiate conversations with others - I wait for them to show friendliness to me first. As far as others' opinions on that, I have no idea. I really have no idea how I'm perceived by others.

My most recent ex-girlfriend emailed me today.
She chastised me for not calling, or emailing her.
Then proceeded to complain about me talking to a different ex ("all the time when we were together"-actually it was 4 times in 2 years)
She can't understand that if I rarely talk to her, I obviously wasn't talking to the other one.

I have to be outgoing in my job.
Luckily, it is in my field of special intrest.
Also, I seem to be able to talk to people on their level (mimicking).
A comfortable place/situation seems to help for me.
[even if my brain is screaming that they are a total f*c4ing idiot]

I am also one who waits for others to initate the conversation.

The assumption I use is that I shouldn't be impeding (correct word?) on existing social groups. If they're interested in me, they'll start conversation, for God's sake.

When I get to know a person well enough, I try to recriprocate if a situation comes up where I am able to.

My dad repeatedly tells me that I HAVE to be more assertive, that if I am interested in a person, I should be the one to start the conversation. Which has good logical basis, as assertive guys tend to have more friendships. But it's something I find hard to do... I may want to know this person, but that about him(her)? What are his(her) thoughts?

Yes, I always wait for the other person to initiate the conversation and if they dont I'm constantly trying to work out if it is because they dont want to talk or they are waiting for me to make the first move. I always seem to think that they are not talking because they dont want to and so I keep quiet.

Also if I see someone I know outside I never know if I should smile or not to say hello and I wait to see if they do first. This usually leads to me not smiling at all as by the time I have seen them and seen them smile I have walked past them before I had a chance to smile back.

Yeah this happens to me too. Especially at school. I mean, I know everyone in my class, but surely I'm not supposed to say hi to each and every one? And if I do, just a hi or a kiss too? (I'm from Argentina, a kiss-as-hello country) So I just say hi to my friends, and very rarely to someone else if it's the beginning of the day and they're staring at me.