Work Advice

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Hi, I'm one of those Aspies that can't stick at a job. I get bored, fall out with people and have poor attention to details. I get easily frustrated by people and virtually stutter when someone gets angry with me. I'm 43 and have a toddler. Hubby has AS too. I have been trying to get back into paid work but options are limited for over 40s wanting part time. I dread the idea of going back into an office. IT never worked before. Bullying, ostracisation and I can't keep my mouth shut when other frustrate me and I openly panic and seize up if I don't understand something straight away.

I thought it might be a good idea to get a job in a travel agency, which is what I did when I was younger. I manage to get a local agency to give me one day a week work experience unpaid. I work hard there and start to resent not getting paid. I have started to think I might not want to do this anymore.

I get great ideas and start off trying them and then I just burn out with it and go right off the idea. I can see myself getting bored with the job too. I used to dread working in an agency so why I think it will be better this time, I don't know.

I did a course in massage therapy about 4 years ago and completed it. On the times I have treated people, I have liked it. Just the initial fact finding and then it's quiet. I can work for myself. I have thought about doing this but I am so scared I will fail. This would be perfect for me. But I am so tired of myself starting and stopping things. I get scared of screwing up and abort the plan.

Should I stop doing the work experience in the agency and concentrate on building up the massage business. I have made some flyers up and I have all the equipment, table and balms etc from before. I do like helping people feel better. I don't cope so well if I think they have not liked it.

What do you think? Sorry, I feel overwhelmed and lost and don't know what to do.

LOL...I used to want to work in a travel agency, too! In fact, I started doing an internship at one! It fed my obsession with cruise ships stemming from the old Love Boat TV show!

Not so sure that working in a travel agency is such a great idea in this day and age when most trips now can be booked by the individual online! Even cruises can be booked this way now! The most lucrative thing an agency can do nowadays is corporate and group travel accounts, IMHO!

As for the massage therapy...you REALLY ENJOY having to TOUCH people like that???? To each his (or her) own. I say either way, GO for it!

I think the massage idea sounds really great. Could you find someone that could help you by mentoring you as you do it, to help you with the ups and downs of dealing with people? There are a lot of things you can do with massage therapy so you can find a way that works best for you. Like traveling to their locations or having your own place or renting a salon and selling skin items. You just need a good support person, try looking in your area for independent living type resources for people with autism. I wish you good luck.

OMG you made realise that being in Travel fed my obsession with all things Nordic. Especially Sweden. For yours I really believed I was Swedish. I learnt the language in like 3 months and still speak it like a native. I lived there and funny enough, didn't fit in there either. I loved to travel to escape my problems and I thought being somewhere else would fix it. Of course, that didn't help. I ended up getting so disappointed in Sweden and its people because I didn't fit in, even though I look rather Swedish. But I dragged on the obsession until I was in my 30s. I even used to dress as a viking at parties. i once changed my name to something nordic, changed it back now of course. It got really out of hand. But it's been over 10 years since all that. I struggle to find my own identity now though. Always trying to copy other women I think look nice or have something I want about them. That's always changing.

As for touching people, I'm ok with that. I see them as muscles and I know the names and where they are. I don't consider how they feel too much, I'm more concerned with the biomechanics of them. I have massaged before and there have been some that love to talk and I just uhm and ah and answer questions. I'm so concerned about doing a good job. I like the idea of finding a mentor. I will get onto that as I need someone I can talk to about it, or I will give up when I start to get scared of face a problem I don't know how to deal with. I tend to retreat under a rock when that happens and don't come out for days.

LOL...of course, I didn't have the people skills necessary to work in the travel industry! But what I did have was an enthusiasm for travel! And I knew a lot about places I'd never actually visited! Mind you, this was just ahead of the Internet phenomenon - so I had to get my knowledge the OLD-FASHIONED WAY: brochures and pamphlets!

Funny story: I went to a staff meeting seminar at the travel agency I was trying to study under. We had a representative from the old Home Line come in to preview their new vessel, the Atlantic! Can you imagine a man so boring he could put you to sleep talking about the ship his company just launched?! They called him "Mr. Personality" LOL! Oh well, he DID tell me that if I came to New York that he would ensure that I got a full tour of the ship! He was impress that I knew things about the line, its Italian heritage, and its ships (Doric, Homeric, Atlantic, and the famed Oceanic)! Plus the fact that my folks had friends who sailed on the old Homeric in the 1950s!