when people save things up

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when you do something that a friend, family member, or partner doesn't like, but they do not tell you at that time, but wait until 5 months later in an argument to bring it up.

that's just malicious. if people have a problem, they should be direct about it rather than playing games.

I completely agree. If something bothers you, it might not be the best time to bring it up right then and there, but you should bring it up at as soon as possible. If someone is bringing up stuff 5 months later with, tell them that their lack of communication is a larger problem than whatever it is they found annoying about you in the first place.

Well you can try to go by the context of the situation of course and not just that the period of 5 months "waiting" was annoying and outright rude. Maybe the person you have/had a conflict with was getting over a long out drawn drug addition or something personal like that. You will usually be able to sense if there's something like that wrong rather than just a person pushing you off until they feel like talking to you again.

If they do this, I just figure they decided to make a big deal out of it and hold it against me just because. In the past it was no big deal and then decided it was.

But sometimes it's not always the case. Sometimes things get brought up as examples when something happens. Like one time I tried to make a joke about me skidding on ice and almost hitting the fence and my mom actually said that really did happen. I asked her about it and she said she saw tire tracks leading to the fence and I realized "oops" and mom knew all along I was not driving safe in the snow so I almost hit the fence when I turned. I was 17 then. So even though she brought it up, I was the one who triggered it with my humor and then I asked her about it. I assume she didn't have a problem with it or else she would have told me right after she noticed than waiting until I triggered it.