Accepting Criticism

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One of the most important way to better oneself.

Criticism hurts, especially when you thought you had been doing something the correct way for a long time. It may be painful at the moment, especially if you are criticized often or criticized in front of somebody. But, it is important to learn to accept it.

5 years ago, I would dismiss criticism and deny what the other person was saying, or accuse them of trying to insult me. It made me feel better for a few minutes, but did it improve me? No. And I eventually had to work on those same things that I could have worked on before had I been more open minded.

When someone criticizes you, it is best, in my view, to let them finish and do not interrupt. Then think about what they said, and try to understand why they would feel that way in their perspective. Then talk to them about it.

Not all criticism is helpful; sometimes it is wrong. But much of the time, especially if numerous people are telling you the same thing, it may be a valid point.

Also, I like to tell people (without being excessively apologetic) who I am in a friendship with that it is perfectly okay to criticize me if they feel I do something wrong.

your thoughts?

I do agree with you. I think you can learn from every situation, good or bad, and being criticized is a way that you might be able to learn something about yourself. My son is 12 and is an Aspie and he is so sensitive to criticism. He doesn't even like when I check his homework and something is wrong. He takes it personally. I am careful to not be critical but just black and white about things with him because of this sensitivity. I have to handle him with kid gloves on this front. I really hope he develops the emotional maturity to take criticism he gets sometimes from others and use it for good instead of beating himself up and blaming others.

I got cured of "monologuing" when my mother threatened to fire me from the candy store we owned at the time because no one wanted to work with me due to the one sided conversations. This would have been when I was in middle school between 6th and 8th grades, and we had no idea about the AS, only that I was different from the other kids. Seems harsh in retrospect, but at the time it was a real wake up call because no one had ever actually said anything about it before, I never knew that I was doing something offputting by delivering lectures on things that interested me rather than conversing. Took me a while to learn it through mimicry, and I still struggle with smalltalk, but I've met enough Aspies that never learned conversation to value the criticism it took to make me self examine.