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Friend re-adding me

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Summer_Twilight
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06 Nov 2011, 12:34 am

I had recently had a falling out with a guy in may who is on the spectrum back in May because I felt like I would invite him to things and yet he would brush me off. So I finally told him that I was tired of his crap and then we decided that it would be best if we went separate ways.

However, I got invited to a get together this evening and he was going to go and so he decided to re-add me on facebook and be friends again and so I re-added him. However, I really feel uneasy about re-connecting since he seemed to be flaky with myself and other friends in the past.

What should I say when setting boundaries?



anneurysm
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07 Nov 2011, 6:50 pm

Be as direct as possible with your emotions over the situation and allow him to see the consequences of his actions. Say something like "When you brush me off, I feel offended because I am putting in effort to invite you to things. I feel hurt when you don't commit to plans."

At this event, remember to pull him aside when both of you have a free moment to talk about this privately, as you don't want to embarrass yourselves in front of the other attendees.


_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


Summer_Twilight
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08 Nov 2011, 5:49 pm

Thank you so much and I appreciate this your input. You might also need to know that this person has made plans to get together me with me in the past and then backs out at the last minute. Rather than be direct with me, he has the tendency to act very passive aggressive and mention that he's tired and that some family is coming into town who he hasn't seen in a while.