Annoying girl who thinks we're friends... Help. Me. Please.

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LuxoJr
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13 Nov 2011, 8:55 pm

I don't know where else to put this so move if necessary.

Dear god.

There's this girl at school who's shown hints at wanting to be my friend since last year. However, I really tried to avoid her because she gave off this really creepy vibe. Yeah, she seemed normal and cool with a lot of other people at school, but that's only because they didn't get the same vibe. A friend of mine said that she's been the same way with her, all creepish and whatnot.
Basically, this year ever since school started, she practically inserted herself into my life and would come up to me and give me these surprise hugs. And by surprise hugs I mean from behind, and often around the waist or neck. She would also make her hands intentionally cold and then touch my neck or face in order to scare me. AS SOMEONE ON THE AUTISTIC SPECTRUM YOU CAN UNDERSTAND HOW THAT REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY BOTHERS THE HELL OUT OF ME. And I would literally shout out at her sternly saying "OH MY GOD! DON'T DO THAT!" Maybe throw an f bomb in there depending on my mood.
But not depending on my mood, even if I was super happy, just the sight of her annoyed me and made me the angriest person alive. I don't have the heart to tell her off properly or tell her to leave me alone. I can't even tell her to stop hugging me because I don't want to hurt her for some strange reason. I just wish she would go and fall into a pothole or something.
I mean I added her on Facebook just so I could unfriend her in order to give her the hint. But she obviously did not because the hugs and cold hands keep coming.

I really... ugh... I just... I can't... I don't know...


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Jutty
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14 Nov 2011, 12:02 am

I've only read the first sentence of your post. Is she the aspie or are you?



sogj
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14 Nov 2011, 12:07 am

Full disclosure: I'm not diagnosed so this might be NT advice instead of AS advice. ;)

In high school I was known as the "don't touch her" girl. Seriously I just made a rule out of it. People would joke about it for a while, but I would react violently (and completely not on purpose). I punched a few people (honestly it was just a reaction) but it worked! People still were nice to me and it didn't really make people hate me because they realized I hadn't meant to, I just reacted...I was the don't touch her girl. And I made it very verbally clear when someone came to touch me. I would just say, "No. Don't touch me. No touching." And if they laughed and moved closer I would just back up and say, "Nope. I'm serious. I swear I will hit you." Then after that you smile and are super nice and they know you're not an a******* you just don't like being touched. At least I think that's what they know. That's what I was going for anyway. They didn't ever really run off in disgust. Eventually it just became a joke.

Anyway. Sorry for the ramble. That totally worked for me, though. Because that same thing used to happen to me all the time and I just could. not. stand it.

:) good luck



sogj
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14 Nov 2011, 12:09 am

I should make a disclaimer. That might be terrible advice.

You know what? I should really just have that in my signature. "You might be receiving terrible advice right now. Please proceed with caution." ;)



PTSmorrow
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14 Nov 2011, 12:23 am

sogj wrote:

but I would react violently (and completely not on purpose). I punched a few people (honestly it was just a reaction) but it worked!
... And I made it very verbally clear when someone came to touch me. I would just say, "No. Don't touch me. No touching."



Despite my high age and the fact i'm male, i've never hit anybody or even smashed items in a meltdown. How i wish i could punch ... last week i was grabbed from behind while waiting in line at Gas 'N' Go and it was a complete hell for me, even more when one of clerks tried to calm me ... and held my shoulders in order to do so.

When someone is touching me unexpectedly i start shaking uncontrollably and can't even talk, only yell and stammer around. My wish is the equivalent of an electric fence around me. Not lethal, but painful if anybody dares to violate my physical boundaries.



PTSmorrow
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14 Nov 2011, 12:26 am

@ LuxoJr, you could tell her that friendship needs mutual respect and if she doesn't respect your bounds she can't even remotely consider herself a friend of yours.



magicbus
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16 Nov 2011, 5:19 am

Perhaps this girl is just lonely. Maybe you should try and talk to her somehow, and tell her how her behavior makes you feel. Don't be mean to her, but be stern and tell her to stop. I had a "friend" who was the same way, she was super clingy and just didn't leave me alone. (It turned out that I was really all she had because she didn't know how to make friends). I talked to her and it worked, and best of all, no hard feelings (hopefully). If she doesn't listen then I'd report her for PDA. PTSmorrow's advice is good too. She probably is a bit dense and doesn't realize that she's bothering you. Maybe she thinks you're joking when you tell her not to do it, too. Some kids in my school say that even when they don't mean it.


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CaptainTrips222
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20 Nov 2011, 5:42 am

LuxoJr wrote:
I don't know where else to put this so move if necessary.

Dear god.

There's this girl at school who's shown hints at wanting to be my friend since last year. However, I really tried to avoid her because she gave off this really creepy vibe. Yeah, she seemed normal and cool with a lot of other people at school, but that's only because they didn't get the same vibe. A friend of mine said that she's been the same way with her, all creepish and whatnot.
Basically, this year ever since school started, she practically inserted herself into my life and would come up to me and give me these surprise hugs. And by surprise hugs I mean from behind, and often around the waist or neck. She would also make her hands intentionally cold and then touch my neck or face in order to scare me. AS SOMEONE ON THE AUTISTIC SPECTRUM YOU CAN UNDERSTAND HOW THAT REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY BOTHERS THE HELL OUT OF ME. And I would literally shout out at her sternly saying "OH MY GOD! DON'T DO THAT!" Maybe throw an f bomb in there depending on my mood.
But not depending on my mood, even if I was super happy, just the sight of her annoyed me and made me the angriest person alive. I don't have the heart to tell her off properly or tell her to leave me alone. I can't even tell her to stop hugging me because I don't want to hurt her for some strange reason. I just wish she would go and fall into a pothole or something.
I mean I added her on Facebook just so I could unfriend her in order to give her the hint. But she obviously did not because the hugs and cold hands keep coming.

I really... ugh... I just... I can't... I don't know...


She needs the advice. Find a willing person and leave your ass in the dust.



SilverTung
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20 Nov 2011, 6:29 am

Choice 1: Slap the s**t out of everything as stated above.

Choice 2: [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21gdnfRtgrg&feature=related[/youtube]

of course adhered to you situation.


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