Enough is enough!

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Hey, I'm Steve, an 18 year old self-diagnosed aspie. And I've just about had it with all of my social limitations. I'm in college now and it's about time I improved my social life for the better. I just need help sorting a few issues out.

First comes the way I look/act. I have made big strides in the area of eye contact (look but don't stare), the way I walk, and my aspie-related habits (which might be more along the lines of OCD because I've never really had an urge to follow a routine or follow guidelines to a T). However, I do lack in the department of facial expressions and emotion while I talk. Another issue is that I can't seem to find a style that fits me in terms of haircut and clothing; I guess that'll just take some experimentation.

Secondly (and probably most important) are my skills in a conversation. I've noticed that I almost never have something to add to a conversation between people my own age; most people my age almost always have something interesting to add, like a story or something they've seen somewhere (this might be because I've lived a sort of sheltered life LOL). I also notice that sometimes I do tend to not know when to say something, how to say it, etc. Finally, I notice that I usually can't keep a conversation going. This is probably the most frustrating part of making friends for me.

Finally, the actual making friends part. How do I know if they're my type of person (especially with girls lol)? If they just want to be acquaintances or actually be someone who lets me into their existing group of friends, parties/hangs out on weekend nights, etc.

What I want to know is, has anyone succeeded in any of these areas; if so, how? Advice from aspies who have successfully overcome their social difficulties will give me hope that one day soon, I will be able to have at least a semi-normal social life . Thanks!

The 2 question rule:
They ask you a question, then you answer the question, then you pose the same or a similar question back to them.

Reciprocal comments - they say something, you say something related (rinse and repeat)

the comments are harder than questions as you have to be more creative.

Try to have some interesting things to say that you prepared earlier. it doesn't always work, but its good to have them there as back up when you get stuck.
Something like - hey i heard a funny story the other day, or guess what happened to me today.
These are great when the conversation dries up. So long as its not too far a stretch from the previous conversation.
Also make sure that its not too crazy if its with work colleagues.
The crazier the better with friends as it should hopefully make them laugh and share other crazy stories.

Good luck and keep practicing.

Good on you, love the positive attitude.

Take advantage of the clubs and societies in your college. The come with people that are garenteed to be interested in a given subject, you can reherse and prepare, facts, converation lines ect. I a few, one for each day of the week. The ofteb go out after, this is important and can turn into a social group.

Im from Ireland a culter that places a lot of enphisis on social life. Ive learned that people dont care too much about being very normal. In fact it can be boring, people need more to be put at ease. ie. quirky ok, creepy bad.
have a couple of good funny stories on hand. Embilish if neccary.
Simetime the way you see things can be a source of humour. those little differences in the way you see thing that your probably hiding. if spun the right way can be funny.
Everyone likes to laugh.

Ive been working on the theory latly that the are serios social needs. Like reproducing, communicating while hunting ect. but that there is social play too. Like cubs play fighting this is how people and you can hone your skills.
Ill give a few examples.
Im a straight guy if I give I smile and give a girl 2/3 eye contact. thats indicating attraction. a realy thing.

However If I do this to a guy I know its silly, its play, and its also practice.

If someone attacks me and I cry out of help. thats important.
But if a cute girl hits my sholder and I playact how Im so hurt. its fun. It lets her play at being strong too.

basicly most social interaction now is not life dependent and is play. doing it puts people at ease,makes you fun, and as Im begining to learn can help you sus out potental romance without putting anything on the line.

hoped that helped