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cooldryplace
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09 Dec 2011, 2:27 am

My friend doesn't realize how introverted I am. I'm going out later tonight with him and some of his friends to "get girls."

I'm 21, I live with my parents, I have no job, no money, and no car. I'm not physically attractive and don't have any "going out" clothes to wear except for one button-up shirt that is too big. and I have no social skills, especially a skill set for dealing with the opposite sex, and I have nothing interesting to talk about.

So tonight's going to be pretty horrible. :roll:

Does anyone here like going out? Do you have any tips?



Wolfheart
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09 Dec 2011, 3:18 am

cooldryplace wrote:
Does anyone here like going out? Do you have any tips?


I don't really like going to parties or clubs because I find socializing comes easier to others than it does to us. It takes a fair amount of energy, analyzing and processing to understand what's going on or to read people and even after all of that, I tend to struggle. I find that the best thing to do is go to an activity where the focus isn't on socializing, like darts, bowling or an activity where people are concentrating more on the activity instead of socializing with you. Going out with him will probably push you out of your comfort zone and it could be an opportunity to make friends. As for talking about things, you don't really need to talk about anything deep, keep it brief and direct, you just need to be able to relate and emphasize, try talking about the local area, pubs, clubs or try talking about the latest movies, talking about the latest movies with a girl is a good way to suggest taking her to the cinema,



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09 Dec 2011, 7:52 am

If I think it's going to be horrible, I don't go.


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Asp-Z
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09 Dec 2011, 7:56 am

If you don't want to go, don't.



WFurman
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11 Dec 2011, 10:19 pm

cooldryplace wrote:
My friend doesn't realize how introverted I am. I'm going out later tonight with him and some of his friends to "get girls."

I'm 21, I live with my parents, I have no job, no money, and no car. I'm not physically attractive and don't have any "going out" clothes to wear except for one button-up shirt that is too big. and I have no social skills, especially a skill set for dealing with the opposite sex, and I have nothing interesting to talk about.

So tonight's going to be pretty horrible. :roll:

Does anyone here like going out? Do you have any tips?


I do enjoy going out when I get an opportunity, although it is rare. When I do, I usually go alone.

If you are going out to "meet women", try asking her questions about their favorites, such as: What's your favorite food?; What's your favorite type of music?; etc.

Also, it is important that you know what is appropriate and what is not appropriate in general. This is an area that many people with AS struggle with, and can lead to unintended negative consequences.



RawSugar
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12 Dec 2011, 7:36 pm

Ironically, while I will not go to or engage in house parties unless I am acquainted with at least 50% of the population there, I have no issues with going to the club as long as it's the type of club that plays the type of music that I like (so mostly dubstep and drum and bass). My reasoning behind this is that at house parties I am forced to socialize with people, which I do not enjoy doing. Boys will hit on me, and I will awkwardly rebuff their advances, however at the club most of the time the music is entirely too loud for anyone to actually talk to me, and if they try I simply pretend that I do not hear them. I like to dance, and the thing about the type of music that I go out dancing to is that it is the type of music that you are not forced to interact (See: grind like disgusting creatures) to. I dance and people leave me alone, and if they don't then they simply face consequences. The last time a guy tried to grind all up on my junk at a club I simply turned around and stared at him with a look that could have killed anyone until he simply went away and then I continued about my business. If I tried the same thing at a house party I would be deemed a "b***h" and would likely continue to stand in the corner awkwardly by myself.



namaste
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13 Dec 2011, 8:05 am

i dont go usually because im ignored most of them then i end up standing in corner all alone left out it hurts
i cant hold onto a conversation the topics are confusing people ask personal question and i have a miserable personal
life which i want to hide beneath my sleeves

so overall avoid the social situation

i prefer going to the mall and shopping or eating some snack.
but i dont have friends for that so i end up alone.