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LittleSwallow
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10 Dec 2011, 12:11 pm

Apart from social groups and bars, because number one, there are no social groups near me, and number two, I go out to bars but it's hard because I don't go out much, because surprise, surprise, no one really tells and includes me in things like that anymore, since I am still quiet on nights out, and when I do, it is just very hard to meet new people especially when they rather talk to your other mates instead. The people I do talk to are only male creeps wanting something from ya. :/

So is it possible to find them any other place? Because heard of one story when two people became mates, because they first met each other at a bus stop. How do ya do it? Like I for example wasn't bothered going into town today, now I think i should have jsut to get myself into a busy situation (I live in the countryside btw)

so what can i do?



Mindslave
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10 Dec 2011, 2:38 pm

You don't "make" friends. People come and go. Potential friends are everywhere. Attention seekers are in bars.



anneurysm
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10 Dec 2011, 8:37 pm

Are you in school, working, or volunteering? You can meet people through all three of these avenues.

As well, try craigslist...I met a good girlfriend of mine on there. The catch is, you have to look in the strictly platonic section...and make sure you're looking for someone of the same sex...otherwise, you are bound to get hit on.


_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


1000Knives
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11 Dec 2011, 1:01 am

Basically you go talk to random people around you. Or you find an activity you like doing. You start as acquaintances, but then when you're better friends, you're better friends. A lot of people remain acquaintances you barely know, and then some become friends you talk to on the phone and whatever with. But more or less, it sounds hard, you either gotta talk to people, or wait for people to talk to you. To an extent your social skills and all that matter, but I believe it's more a matter of, how much balls you got to talk to people. But, obviously you can't just stand on a street corner and be like "WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND?" But at the same time, you don't wanna be anti-social, you know? Me, I think my thought process is quite introverted, but at the same time, in public I'm reasonably outgoing.

As far as the best way to make friends, well, honestly. Do what you wanna do, and wait for friends to come later. Like, I think a lot of women especially have a big problem with this. They always wanna do activities with someone else, either because they hate being alone or like the buffer zone or protection being in a group offers. So a lot of times, I've noticed this in a specific instance with my sister, she said "I'd go ice skating if I had a friend go with me." So, she did go ice skating eventually, after a lot of prodding, but it took her months. Me, I just randomly went ice skating alone one day. Cuz I could. So now with ice skating alone, though I wasn't going there at all for social connections, I have a good half a dozen social connections, with 2-3 people I could probably hang out with more outside of ice skating. If I had more self confidence, I can probably count about 3 girls I could have gone out with, too.

So basically, just find stuff you like doing, and do it, and then talk to people at said places of stuff.

EDIT:
One thing too, maybe try out of your age group, or among foreigners. For whatever reason, even though I'm 20, I feel much more comfortable with people like...over age 27, or even better, like post 40 years old. They're always really nice to me for some reason. Foreigners too, maybe because they feel a bit awkward or isolated in a foreign country, tend to be very nice to me, too. Like they don't know the social rules, and you don't, so it's great. As for adults, they're mature, and generally have outgrown their childish antics, I tend to be much more comfortable around them for some reason. That, and they can teach you a lot, too, if you're willing to listen. Sometimes they're wrong, obviously, but you can usually learn a lot from older people. I think as you get older, it's more acceptable to ramble on and on, so you can both take turns rambling back and forth to eachother.



SadAspie112
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11 Dec 2011, 2:39 am

I am only looking for chat friends. I am too anxious about meeting new people. I just do not have the confidence or communication skills to effectively talk to people. I am socially isolated, have extreme anxiety and complex psychological issues. The keyboard is my main means of communicating with the outside world.



Skeith
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12 Dec 2011, 1:53 am

sadly there is no formula for making friends. though in my opinion go to a book club a art exibit. some sort of group kinda thing that you like and just be yourself. if you interst someone enought to talk to you then who knows you might get a friend out of it. its how i met one of my better friends since we where both into magic the gathering and dnd in trade school. i still talk to him every couple of days though i he now lives at the top of my state and me at the bottom.



Afr0
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12 Dec 2011, 9:37 am

Friends can be found anywhere - on your way home from an exam (!), in World of Warcraft, in your classroom, while traveling the globe, while filming a reality tv-show (like Big Brother), in a band, while wasted at the local bar etc.



OliveOilMom
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12 Dec 2011, 9:57 am

I have three good friends. Two of them I met in school and we keep in touch to this day. The third I met about 18 months ago on facebook. She lives in town and worked with my younger daughter at a friends haunted trail one Halloween. She's about 10 years younger, single, her kids are with a relative right now. She's one of those facebook addicted people who send friend requests to friends of their friends when they like a comment they see you made.

I'm great on facebook. I'm the Phyllis Diller of the Book of Faces. Much better than face to face. I'll crack jokes and make ironic statements, post comments that I obviously made up, etc. She was on a lot of the same threads as I was. We would start hijacking others statuses with silliness, and that's expected in this group of people, unless it's something serious, then we wouldn't. We hit it off on facebook immediately. Commenting on each others stuff, using superhero persona's or typing like we were strippers or ghosts or unicorns. Ridiculously silly things for grown women but we got a kick out of it. I didn't know her from Adam, but I had looked at her pictures. She is recognizable because of her waist length hair and Slavic features, uncommon in this town.

One night at about 10 I had to run to Wal Mart for something and she was there. I recognized her from FB. I went up to her and called her by name. She said "yeah?" I said "I'm Frances. You know, the Queen of Darkness but only during daylight savings time!" She said "Well hey girl!" and we hugged. That's a standard and almost required greeting here. We talked for a minute then went on. We chatted more on facebook after that and then I had a huge fight with my husband. I wanted to go somewhere for a day or so, and she lives about a mile or less from me and said "Mighty Mouse is on her way!" and came to get me and I stayed two nights on her couch. We had a blast. We drank vodka, and sat in the same room and did facebook and chat and this and that and rarely spoke a word to each other except to say "OMG look what he said!" and show each other our mobile devices. The next day we talked about how we hit it off. She hit it right on the head when she said its rare to meet somebody who you are comfortable with from the moment you meet and can sit in silence and it's fine. I agreed. We told each other lots of seriously deep dark secrets that day. Things nobody in town knows about her and things nobody knows at all about me. Neither of us has told.

I would do anything for her. She would do anything for me. I go out with her every few months, and spend a night or two over there. She's the one with all the boyfriends from the other ILY thread. We get each others jokes and know what the other is thinking. All because we hit it off on facebook.

Id suggest you join facebook and friend people who make comments you enjoy. Make comments yourself, not to please others but from your own sense of humor. Those you will get along with will appreciate them and thats who you start talking to.

Thats how I did it anyway.


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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com


SadAspie112
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12 Dec 2011, 10:16 am

We live in a selfish divided world where most people are only in it for themselves. It is very hard to make friends when you have no friends. Aspies often fit in the category of having no friends.

How do you make friends when you have no friends?



1000Knives
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12 Dec 2011, 3:31 pm

SadAspie112 wrote:
We live in a selfish divided world where most people are only in it for themselves. It is very hard to make friends when you have no friends. Aspies often fit in the category of having no friends.

How do you make friends when you have no friends?


Communicate with people and hope they like you.