Chooses NOT to socialize

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I'm on the spectrum as per an evaluation about 20 years ago by a psychotherapist.
I have social skills but choose not to make friends because the whole reason I went into pychotherapy in the first place was to undo the damage done to my emotions by friends and family. I still feel the same way --- It's very hard to meet good people. People always seem to be out to use you for something or to generally suck the life out of you because they're so desparately unhappy. I avoid people by choice not because I'm lacking. I get a feeling that this is the case with many posters on this site. If I can meet other "givers" , I'm happy. But most of the world is full of "takers". Even after I passed 40 years of age, I would seek out people for companionship only to feel as though I was slammed up against a wall - theoretically...I find people in general way too aggressive. I've met two women in pet stores who I had excellent friendships with but unfortunately I've lost them both to breast cancer. They were more involved with their pets than with their own health. Neither one even went for a mammogram until I asked them to accompany me for one because it runs in my family. Both were too far gone for treatment - it was just a matter of time. They both died within the same year. They didn't even know each other. One was a cat owner, the other a guinea pig affectionado. They were both on the spectrum and were kind, loving, giving women.

I am so sorry about your friends but so glad you posted this. I have no insurance and get my pap smear from the health department. I had one in October and they set me up a mammogram for free. I was unable to keep the appointment and had forgotten to call back and reschedule! I'm putting that on my list of people to call from my Mothers house later today! THANK YOU!

It runs in my family too, as does cervical, lung, and skin cancer.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I was just thinking about this. Unwillingly of course. Thanks mind,.

I hate people. And when people say they hate people of course everyone goes "Oh I do too."

Yeah but I don't think you hate them as much as I hate them.

I use to have friends, and socalize. And it was hard. And they really sucked. They never wanted to listen
to my musings, that or they would always call me an alien

Sorry for your loss.

Oh, and I really do hate people. Most likely in a different way but the amplitude is through the roof I can't even care to find it.
I often choose not to socialize because I find people to be very evil.

I don't socialize, either. I did try sometimes when I was younger, but the results were not good. Even nice NTs have trouble dealing with people on the spectrum. It ends up with both sides driving each other crazy, without meaning to. They can't understand why we can't become, or at least behave normal, and get frustrated and angry with us. We naturally get frustrated at not being able to become normal, and at their unrealistic desire that we be normal, and at their frustration and anger towards us when we can't become normal. There's no point in hating all of the NTs, though. Most are basically nice, but they just can't understand why if we look fairly normal, we can't behave normal, and it upsets them because they think we can "fix" what is wrong with us, but are just not trying.

I lived with relatives for most of my life, and it was horrible. Now I have lived alone for more than 6 years, and it is much better that way. Also, I get along better with my relatives now that we don't live together.

In spite of not socializing I am not anti-social, I am just non-social. I will wave at the neighbors, and sometimes speak to them. I will also talk to people when I am out running errands, but I have no friends, and don't attend non-family parties. I also keep the number of family parties that I do attend at a low level. I have no desire to form any friendships, as that doesn't go well for me. Being a hermit type works for me.

I remember that when I was in my late teens and twenties, my older female relatives that I would see at parties would ask about dating, and boy friends. I would tell them that I wasn't dating, had no boy friend, and that I never would, and would never marry. For years they kept insisting that I would. They were wrong, and could not believe that someone would choose a solo life. I never did date or marry, by my own choice. I had few friends in school. Most were at a special school for kids with behavior problems I attended for a few years. That's what kids on the spectrum were diagnosed with back then--I am in my early 50s now, and Autism and Asperger's Syndrome had not been recognized for what they were back then. In regular schools I never had more than one friend at a time, and not always. Only one of those friends lasted for more than a year. Her mother had been one of the bus drivers who took me to the special school, and the daughter became my friend when I came back to regular school. She had problems of her own fitting in, too, but was a nice girl. Somehow we managed to hit it off okay, and stayed friends through high school. We lost track of each other after that.

You just have to find what level of socialization works best for you. For me it's best to keep it to a minimum.

Remember, we on the spectrum are all:

A Different Drummer

If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
Perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
However measured or far away.

--Henry David Thoreau