Is it just me?

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I hate people and I hate interacting. I just get upset that I get left out when my "friends" do something and don't invite me. I don't even like or care about the people who are my friends in real life and could not give a crud about them. I get irritated when they talk to me and edpecially when their interests don't mirror mine. I would love to live in the middle of nowhere with nobody around and then I would have no pressure to even pretend I want friends.

I especially hate having to actually see them and go to events. I cancel as much as I can because really i hate interacting.

I feel like this a lot of the time.

I enjoy doing many things but find that other people tend to ruin these activities for me.

Fortunately I own my own home and can therefore isolate myself if I need it. No parents, no "friends", no one but me and my thoughts.

Let me get this straight: You hate to interact with your friends, and you hate it when they choose to not interact with you - am I right so far?

If that's the problem, then maybe get new friends?

I never feel like this... much...

I mostly hate people and all interactions. I live in a city though so I am constantly reminded of the fact people need friends. I have varied interests and in my city everyone else that is into these activities is one big friendship group. I have been in and around this group since I was 11. If you like anytype of cosplaying or want to go to any sci fi club it is the same group. If you go to a comic shop or gaming shop, it is the same people. I only want to discuss the interest. Not other stuff depending on the setting. When everyone interested in the same things gets invited to an event, except me, it hurts. Even the other aspies are invited.

If I lived in the middle of nowhere, I could just not interact and mot have to pretend.

It seems that you want to be included with the crowd but not be an actual part of the crowd - a tag-along, as it were.

Same here. I'd like to be invited, even if what they're inviting me to is not necessarily something that I'd enjoy doing, in whole or in part.

I'd like it better if they at least gave me the opportunity to say 'No' - that's all I'm asking for.

Sorry for being rude, but I suspect that you're deluding yourself. I sometimes feel annoyed at having to go to social events, but in fact the worst times of my life have been when I have had no friends and have been left to my own devices. Be careful what you wish for.

Everyone needs to socialise, even aspies. It's like brushing your teeth. You might find it annoying to have to do it, but if you don't then you're going to be in trouble.

Here's an idea: why don't you organise an event and invite your friends? That way, you will feel more in control. Your friends will probably be pleasantly surprised that you are being proactive.

If I was going to invite people out, I probably wouldn't want to invite somebody who doesn't care for my company. So I have to admit I can kind of understand why they aren't inviting you.
I don't know anything about cosplaying, but do you really need to go with a group, or with this specific group? Are there other places you could go, other conventions or whatever that this lot don't go to?

Yes you understand. It is so frustrating.

Indeed. What makes it even more frustrating is that the more I try to discuss it with my 'friends', the worse it gets. So I can either shut up and ignore the situation, or ... I can just shut up.

I dont even try to discuss it. Try saying to someone "hey i like you as a friend but i only like talking to you when it involves a topic we both like because i find you talking about other stuff annoying. btw it hurts when you invite everyone else to an event and not me, even though i know with 90% honesty i wont come because groups of people stress me out."

You may be sending signals that you are not interested in being invited, especially if you hate the people and interacting with them.

Why do you call them your friends if you don't care about them?

Blame the victim ... ?

People on this board freakin' love this phrase.

People's actions contribute to their situations. Pointing this out is not blaming. And not everyone in an unpleasant situation is a poor helpless victim.

Solvejg, your situation sucks. I sympathize. Dealing with people, even friends, is tiring and frustrating and its easy to just retreat. I've lost a lot of friends that way and ended up, despite my general preference for solitude, very lonely. You have to decide which is more important to you; having your space when you need it, or having your friends when you need them. It's pretty much impossible to have both.

Just asking. Some folks seem to take pleasure in pointing out where others have "brought it upon themselves", and I was not certain that this wasn't the case.


^ This, FTW.