How do I explain my need for space to my best friend?

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So my best friend and I talk everyday. She is 23 and i'm 20. We met on Second Life but its moved past that and we text/ talk on the phone and if we lived near each other we would hang out. But for now we hang on Second Life.

My problem is that there are days (just like all aspies) when I don't want to talk to anyone and just need my space. My best friend CONSTANTLY texts me to come online, and if I am online she signs on and just wont stop iming me.

I love her and I always feel bad when she asks me to come online and I can't or just don't. Partially because she can be a drama queen and she has rejection issues and I don't want to hurt her feelings.

How do I nicely tell my friend to give me some space? I know that sounds easy but I always end up sounding rude or cold even when i'm really not trying to be. I just need some help.

I would just say things after a phone conversation like
"I'll call you in 2 days" or something like that,
the same with texts.
"second life on thurs" or something like that.

I don't know this person but if it helps or you think it is relevant. I would explain extroversion vs. introversion.
People that are "drama queens" are most definitely extroverted.
You might want to explain the you are more introverted than she is and therefore need more space. A reasonable person would understand.
If you are really bored you might want to go online and read a lot about extroversion vs. introversion

I find that even when you do explain introversion, extroverted people feel like something is wrong with you. And they try to "make" you be more extroverted. Problem is YOU CAN'T in this case.

The OP is lucky this person is just friends over the internet! There are people SO INTRUSIVE that they invade your PERSONAL space constantly and tell you that yu have to accept them doing it! Then when you CUSS THEM OUT, they say you're being an a***hole!

I just got a sympathy card from a co-worker who wrote that she wants me to hug her when we see each other again! NOT GONNA HAPPEN! In fact, I have a good mind to write her back and tell her. The only people I hug, really, are people from my meeting and sometimes a relative. Away from the meetings, there isn't a lot of hugging that takes place. I can put up with it because it's like a protocol and it's sort of like a secret handshake (fraternity/sorority).

But yeah, I feel the OP!

I had this problem a lot in university, particularly with one friend who was very, very extroverted. She called me everyday and asked if I wanted to do something everyday, and when we did end up doing something it lasted hours and hours, and after one thing was over she wanted to do something else. It was very frustrating for me and I didn't know how to tell her that I couldn't spend so much time with her, so I ended up just avoiding her calls and cut her off entirely from my life. That ended pretty badly when we ran into each other in between classes one day at uni, and she told me off.

Since your friend's online, a simple "sorry I'm busy today" will probably suffice, and if she asks what you're doing just make something up like you have to study or your family's over. Or you could tell her that from now on you're only able to go online certain days of the week and make it very clear that on the days that you're not available, you're not available period.

And since your friend's online, maybe you could set your IM to sign in as INVISIBLE! My Yahoo! messenger accounts are like that!

If she asks why you did that you could tell her that you just like to lay in the cut! Or that you like being STEALTHY!

What I don't understand about this thread is the need to offer excuses or make stuff up. People can often tell when you're making stuff up, [I can smell a lie like a fart in a car] especially when another friend you both have innocently brings up the wonderful chat they had when your friend made an excuse that she had a paper to write, or had a headache, on her period, having a procedure, disturbance in the force. Whatever.

When I need space I say so. If it hurts the person's feelings, that's not my fault. I'm nice about it when I say it.

My problem is often the opposite. I can't tell when someone is bored with me or needs space. I make soft inquiries asking if they're busy, if they're bored with a joint project we're doing or if there's any other problem. I'm much more likely to be given a reassurance that everything's okay, I haven't done anything, they're not bored or irritated by me etc. Then comes that awkward moment when you log in to IM and they immediately log off [or go invisible]

If I'm open about approaching someone about a social situation between us and am given reassurances but then am confronted by behaviors that contradict what they say, it stresses the hell out of me. It makes me nuts! I usually back off without notice, give them space they may feel too embarrassed or worried about hurting my feelings to ask for. Then the friendship will cool off and often dry up and just end. This happens to me so often, it's only logical for me to think I'm doing something wrong and I can't figure it out and I can't depend on people to be honest enough about where I stand with them friendship-wise to get any helpful suggestions from them either.

It's soooo frustrating. And it hurts me and makes me sad.

Explain to her that you're prone to being overwhelmed by life, and that sometimes you have to have space to yourself to recharge. Make sure it's all about you and you don't mention the situation with her specifically, unless she brings it up.

OP = Original Poster. Pretty common internet slang.