teasing/being messed with

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My question is...........how do you deal with this, or tell the other person you don't like it without getting the "you're really fun to tease" sort of reaction? Reason I ask is because I've had problems with this all throughout my life, and it's something which I would like to work on. Anyhow, to give a few examples of what I'm referring to....

- when I was younger, we used to get together with family friends who had two girls around my age. I was usually the one who got ganged up on/teased, and since this didn't always happen when the adults were around, my mom could NOT figure out why I didn't enjoy spending time with them, and she would accuse me of being anti-social. It got to where I felt like I had to watch everything I said or did, because I didn't know what would inspire being teased.

- I have chronic asthma, and have a portable "breathing machine" which I use when I have a bad attack. The shape resembles a crack pipe, and when I'd use it, family members would tease me about smoking crack. It was funny the first few times someone said it, but got VERY old after awhile, and I started feeling self-concious about needing a breathing treatment because of the "hehehehe......you're smoking crack again?" comments.

Well I don't really mind if people mess with me as a joke, but if they kept making the same joke even after it got old I might start feeling a little insulted. Not sure exactly how i would deal with it. When it comes to people messing with me to be mean though I usually end up getting upset or internalizing it.

Can you tease them back? Say something like, "Man, you sure are turning into a broken record in your old age. You keep saying that same line to me every time I see you." Say it in a likewise joking manner, and maybe they'll get the hint.

I know I can give that as a recommendation, but I'm personally a pansy that can never actually put something like that into practice in real life - only in my head, and usually long after the oppotune moment has passed.

I ignore the jokes and the teasing. I show no reaction to it. When a joke is old, I start to ignore it. I see no point in giving them a reaction, that is why they are doing it. To upset you and it's a form of bullying.

I agree with League_Girl.

However, on one occasion, I did get a little violent. I know violence is never the answer, but if the case is they're teasing you because they think little of you, then find a safer way to show that you are not little. Although I think they stopped teasing me only because I was a girl...

Usually, ignoring them works half the time. Violence too. I mean it's like protesting vs saying nothing. If you say nothing, it could be that they will do it more because they really want a reaction OR they will stop because they'll get bored of you. If you protest and get violent, well it could just continue as a back and forth between both parties OR it could possibly stop them.

In my experience people will just keep trying if you ignore it.

It really depends on what's said to me. The people I hang around with and my family are the teasing type so I'm used to banter. Heck I myself only get on with people who can put up with my teasing. Though I don't constantly tease someone about something their conscious about as I wouldn't like it myself.
As others have said it's best either to ignore it. Or if they are close family who are constantly teasing you about something you're sensitive about then just say you've had enough of it. I've done that once or twice before I knew I was going to get really angry.
Giving a joke back is good as well.

about the breathing machine....which it is not cool to tease about that.
Just tell them...."We often become who we judge" and say it calmly and with certainty, it will mess with their heads. And it is true...I have seen it happen over and over again.

Here is how you tie them in knots:

just be bluntly honest. Tell them "It makes me feel so small when you treat me like a punchline, this teasing affects my self esteem and if you really cared about me then you would treat me with respect as a human being"

If they say, ohh we are just playing with you, dont take things so seriously. Just tell them "I am not your toy and I am not laughing because it hurts that you have no respect for how I feel or my emotional well being."

If that doesnt work, Demand that your family will pay for family therapy for all of you...and if they refuse, you will have nothing to do with them anymore.
Btw..Tell the family therapist how you told them how it makes you feel and they refuse to respect your feelings, a therapist will rip them to shreds over that.

But all in all, you should not tolerate that... make them know how it affects you and if it continues...there will be consequences.

It is a form of bullying and they need to be held responsible

Jojo