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namaste
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05 Feb 2012, 1:51 am

I work part time with a NGO.
Well I am too quite, shy, people find me boring and so do my colleagues
Well now there is annual day coming up in our NGO and we have to work together
I called up my colleague she didnt answer the phone so i sms'ed her telling her that
i have lot of cardboards, colours, brushes etc so if she can come over to my place
we can make the backdrop of the annual day.
she just replied in short 'nt pssbl'
I felt quite bad by the way she just shunned me away
There is only 4 days left for the annual day and we are not ready with the backdrop


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questor
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05 Feb 2012, 4:01 am

Don't judge the co-worker too harshly, as it is possible they really are too busy.

Option 1. You could take this up with the boss, and ask for some help with your part of the project.

Option 2. Do all the work yourself, sign it, and date it. Also, at the event, let everyone know that the work was done by you. If you do all the work, you deserve all the credit.

As for the possibility that some of the people there are shunning you, there are always going to be jerks who don't take well to people who are different, like those of us on the spectrum. Just do your work the best you can. You only have to impress the boss, not the co-workers. At the same time, don't go out of your way to be rude to them, but you also don't have to be too buddy-buddy with anyone who is rude to you, or gives you the cold shoulder.

You could always ask someone who seems to not like you, what their problem is. But only do so if you can handle hearing criticism without getting too hurt by it.


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namaste
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05 Feb 2012, 4:09 am

questor wrote:
Don't judge the co-worker too harshly, as it is possible they really are too busy.

Option 1. You could take this up with the boss, and ask for some help with your part of the project.

Option 2. Do all the work yourself, sign it, and date it. Also, at the event, let everyone know that the work was done by you. If you do all the work, you deserve all the credit.

.

Option 1earlier supervisor was good and helpful now a new one as come who is as useless as the colleague.
so i am not going to ask her anything

Option 2- i will just take the 2 events i have been told to take up
and if she continues making last minute changes then i am going to not take up anything

im just going to ignore this entire event let the NT's make it their sucess party


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Chronos
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05 Feb 2012, 4:44 am

namaste wrote:
I work part time with a NGO.
Well I am too quite, shy, people find me boring and so do my colleagues
Well now there is annual day coming up in our NGO and we have to work together
I called up my colleague she didnt answer the phone so i sms'ed her telling her that
i have lot of cardboards, colours, brushes etc so if she can come over to my place
we can make the backdrop of the annual day.
she just replied in short 'nt pssbl'
I felt quite bad by the way she just shunned me away
There is only 4 days left for the annual day and we are not ready with the backdrop


It might be that she is actually busy. However you reaction to her response is rather revealing. You automatically assumed her response was due to negative feelings she has towards you. She may or may not actually have such negative feelings, but the issue with shy individuals is that they often get stuck in a vicious cycle which goes something like this.

1. They are shy and quite, frequently because they have low self esteem or anxiety because they assume people think the worst of them or will act in a negative manner towards them.

2. As a result others find them difficult to communicate with, so gravitate towards others who are more outgoing and easier to communicate with, and/or they misinterpret the person's shyness as disinterest or wishy-washyness, and gravitate towards other people who they feel are more engaged.

3. This makes the shy person feel worse and withdraw more.

4. Repeat.

Perhaps you need to work on not being so shy. There is a group called Toasmasters that aids business people with public speaking. That might be a good place to start because though public speaking is rather terrifying to a large number of shy, and non-shy people alike, you are somewhat insulated because you are speaking to numerous people, who are generally just there to listen and not engage you very much on a person to person level. The goal of this would be to give you more confidence in expressing your views aloud because shy people are generally not used to literally speaking up. Once you get used to actually talking, you can work on the interpersonal skills.



namaste
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05 Feb 2012, 12:06 pm

she should remove time out to complete the office work related to annual day
I am a mother of kid, i run my house, do household chores, plus cooking, ration etc
whereas she is unmarried girl in early 20's with lot of others who do her chores
so how come she is more busy then I am


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NicoleG
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06 Feb 2012, 1:52 pm

namaste wrote:
she should remove time out to complete the office work related to annual day
I am a mother of kid, i run my house, do household chores, plus cooking, ration etc
whereas she is unmarried girl in early 20's with lot of others who do her chores
so how come she is more busy then I am


No one should have to be required to make room in their personal time for work-related stuff, no matter what their home and family life is like. It's rude to suggest otherwise, and it's not your place to look into her personal life in such a manner nor to compare your personal life with hers. It's simply not a good idea to let your mind wander down that path. Resist the urge to compare apples and oranges.

I still think her text response is very unprofessional, but not necessarily uncalled for. If this is something required for work, then time should be set aside during work to accomplish it. I recommend sending another message asking her when you could get with her during work hours to work on the backdrop. If you still get a negative response, then you really should take it to the boss regardless of how you feel she is useless. That's the point of having a boss, and you should be able to utilize her in that respect. It also means you have exhausted your options to show that you are making good faith towards working on the project and working as a team.

I worry that your colleagues and new boss are trying to push you out based on so many of the posts you have made. If they are working towards this end, you have to decide how much of it you want to let get to you personally. I worked in a very uncomfortable environment where I didn't fit in with the primary social group, and I had to spend a lot of effort maintaining basic professional working relationships with my colleagues and a couple bosses. I know it's really not an optimal situation for you. I really do wish you luck in dealing with them.



namaste
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07 Feb 2012, 5:43 am

i met her at workplace
and from her attitude it was made clear that she did not want to work at home during non work hours
she told me that she had lot of household errands
she is giving all her work to students and get it done.
i have decided not to interfere
and i help whenever she asks me to


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unduki
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08 Feb 2012, 1:48 am

People are confusing. It hurts sometimes when they don't act like we expect. People often advise us to not have expectations but that's a little impractical; you need to have a point of reference, at least I do.

I overreact sometimes, other times I'm guilty of not reacting enough. It's a hard thing to gauge. My fix-all is time. Usually, if I just wait for a day or so, or even a few extra heartbeats, things work out.

I hope things work out for you, namaste.


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namaste
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08 Feb 2012, 3:57 am

unduki wrote:
People are confusing. It hurts sometimes when they don't act like we expect. People often advise us to not have expectations but that's a little impractical; you need to have a point of reference, at least I do.

I overreact sometimes, other times I'm guilty of not reacting enough. It's a hard thing to gauge. My fix-all is time. Usually, if I just wait for a day or so, or even a few extra heartbeats, things work out.

I hope things work out for you, namaste.

today morning she smsed me asking for urgent help with getting cardboards
i told her 'nt psbl' tit for tat

now just 2 days are left and she is not having cardboards neither she as got the backdrop
ready.

well im just going to sit and watch the fun.. :twisted:


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unduki
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09 Feb 2012, 7:03 pm

namaste wrote:
today morning she smsed me asking for urgent help with getting cardboards
i told her 'nt psbl' tit for tat

now just 2 days are left and she is not having cardboards neither she as got the backdrop
ready.

well im just going to sit and watch the fun.. :twisted:


Hah! enjoy


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