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Lazenca_x
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26 Feb 2012, 5:40 pm

Hi

i have a problem with one of my friends, for some odd reason he doesn't call or text me anymore. Nor does he reply to my text messages. I considered him to be one of my closest friends, but now, I just don't know what is going on.

I think it might have to do with his fiancee. She once told me that she loved me (this was before they started dating). She confused me so I went to him to ask for his advice on the matter. She then sent me a text message saying that she meant it in a platonic way.

After this incident, they hooked up and were engaged. Since then, he has not been like he was before. I'm not to blame for what she said, so why would he blame me?



questor
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26 Feb 2012, 7:14 pm

The friendship is probably over, so don't push it. Your former friend now sees you as a possible rival for his girlfriends affections, so he prefers that you not be in the picture to temp her further. Don't take it personally, One day this week or this coming weekend, morn the passing of the friendship, and then get on with your life. Not all friendships last for life.


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Ria1989
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26 Feb 2012, 7:28 pm

Agreed ^^. That stinks it happened to you, but it is what it is. Let him come to you if he wants.


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Lepidoptera
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26 Feb 2012, 11:37 pm

I don't know exactly what is going on in your situation, but I can tell you that you're in the age group where people pair up, get married, and basically start a new life where their mate and family are the #1 and #2 priorities. Before that, you may have been a high priority in their life, but your position has dropped.... a lot. There's also a lot of brain chemical stuff going on and your (possible ex) friend may not feel any need to associate with you now. This could change some years down the line and you might reconnect. For those of us who never pair off, it's hard to understand what's going on, and you can feel like you've been tossed on the side of the road. And you have been, but not necessarily for some bad reason.

I feel like I have a little insight into this because I'm much older than you and had friends who got married, raised their kids, and now I've reconnected at least somewhat with a couple of them. For aspies who never get married, I think it's best to find someone else who never gets married for a friend. You're likely to remain a higher priority in their life. At least that's my experience.



Mithos
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26 Feb 2012, 11:57 pm

I tend to not make friend in general, I see it this way. "Something will always go wrong." And bam, no longer friends. That's the way I see it.


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namaste
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27 Feb 2012, 5:24 am

looking at the situation you mentioned i think its over.
because now that person found someone more interesting and you are a
threat for that relationship


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Lazenca_x
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27 Feb 2012, 7:48 pm

The thing that I don't understand is why he did this now all of a sudden. The incident with his fiancee happened over a year ago but i could sense that something was wrong with our friendship even then. Now all of a sudden he doesn't return my texts. It's all a bit confusing and sad to think that he would hold a grudge against me when I had not done anything wrong.