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Topher
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27 Oct 2006, 2:18 pm

Why is it that despte how much you try to make non AS people try to see how you are, they still act afraid of you or misinterpit your actions. :( I've been going to seconary school for 7 years, including A levels, and in all that time i have never been able to bond prorperly with anyone, and because of that i can;t call any people in my school true friends, and given that my life is boring, lonely, it does not make me look forward to going into a place, where you feel like a colour in a swirl of Black and White, or like you are in a sound proof bubble and nothing gets in or out.

Of course, i don't mean to rant about how bad life can be, im not an Emo ( no offence ) But i do feel that young people need to be more aware of AS, to help those who might have it. And so it means for greater social acceptance. I don't like it when people misinterpet me, and when im looked at strangely, i wonder why i bother trying to fit in, i proud to be different, i wish collegues would see this and not care. I joined this place because i want to be a part of a unique community to meet people i can understand and accept for who they are. But im upset as i reflect at experiences and wish that i could have done more to try to feel accepted and a part of my school community.



Claradoon
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27 Oct 2006, 4:51 pm

It's not "people in school are ignorant." The correct expression is "people are ignorant."



Topher
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27 Oct 2006, 5:20 pm

I can see your point, and it still scares me to know despite all the efforts people do to make others aware, it all goes out the window as soon as we make a social mistake we are not aware of, and suddenly people think we are behaving badly again.



Emettman
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27 Oct 2006, 5:23 pm

Topher wrote:
Why is it that despte how much you try to make non AS people try to see how you are, they still act afraid of you or misinterpit your actions[?] ...I don't like it when people misinterpet me.


Lots of reasons (and dont think it's just you. Folk without AS are quite capable of misinterpreting each other, despite allegedly having more in common).

One reason is that you and they are speaking different languages a lot of the time.
That both sides think they are speaking one common language only makes it worse.

For each to get through more effectively, they need to be told, IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE, to learn something of the other's. Repeating the message in the wrong way isn't going to do it effectively. That also takes some sinking in on both sides.


And yes, a fair proportion of the planet are also unaware and self-centred, too, so there whatever you try it's going to be "Hailing on all frequencies, Captain, but there's no response."



Topher
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27 Oct 2006, 5:51 pm

I do feel like the Enterprise at times, trying to make contact with strange cultures, this place feels like home in a way. A culture i feel home with.



Emettman
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28 Oct 2006, 2:34 am

That's basically right.

Some don't seem to have this trouble. A proportion of those will have exceptional skill in picking up cultural clues and adapting to them almost unconsciously, a proportion will just be unconsciously going with the majority flow. (If the flavour of the month is to burn witches, they will burn witches). Some have never got as far as realising that other people have arrived at different values and ways of thinking by routes quite as legitimate as their own.

Many others struggle with their own sensations of strangeness and alienation, but with most hiding it lest they be seen to show weakness or difference. On the outside they too look like part of the big majority of "normals".
(do you have any idea how many peoplle hate Christmas as practiced, but feel that have to smile their way through it!?)

Such is the world.

"Mankind is a herd of knaves and fools. It is necessary to join the crowd, or get out of their way, in order not to be trampled to death by them." Willam Hazlitt

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

When I first came here, (and other AS places) there was a sensation of coming home.
Not perfect, still with room for rows and disagreements, but a subtle feeling of recognising more fellow-beings.



deep-techno
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28 Oct 2006, 1:23 pm

Claradoon wrote:
It's not "people in school are ignorant." The correct expression is "people are ignorant."


And also, "ignorant people" is just a tautological expression!

:lol: :lol:


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Topher
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28 Oct 2006, 5:50 pm

I admit i do feel a sense of findng my home, or an alien who has found his people, and i feel lucky to have found this place. :)



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30 Oct 2006, 1:49 pm

As one of my fictional characters remarks (and rather sarcastically), "Welcome to my world. Enjoy your stay... or not." As you go out into the world, you will realize that more and more of life is actually acting over what you think and believe. If you act how you naturally would, most people would be utterly shocked. "It's just not socially acceptable for people to be different than the NT world at large" is their excuse for how they act.

People have to get used to the idea of living among others who are different than they are. AS is not the only means of diversity in this world and there are plenty of people who have to cope with the social norm each and everyday. Imagine what life would be like if we were all the same. Imagine if we all agreed about politics, religion, books, movies, etc. Imagine that we all acted the same way, responded to external stimuli in the same manner. How boring would life be?

To continue on with the theme of using Star Trek to explain things, it is like the body of people in "The Return of the Archons" (season one of Enterprise crew). There was no diversity because each person's individuality got taken from them when they were immersed into the "universal body". This is how many people are in the world today. Still, others resist this and are like the Archons, in danger of being immersed at any given moment.

The world needs these people to survive. As Kirk and his crew landed on the planet, they had to learn how to act and dress and imitate these people so that they were not immersed. They had to put on an act that was different from the way that they would typically think in order to survive and accomplish their mission. This is what many people with AS have to do in the world at large.

NTs adapt to people subconsciously, for the most part. People with AS generally do not. Aspies are likely to study people like a science to figure out how they respond. The main problem with this is that people do not respond in the same way as each other to external stimuli. Therefore, trying to study people in a strictly amateur scientific sense would be preposterous. So... what is an aspie to do in this situation?

Put on an an act and fit into the world. Retain individuality, but keep a low profile and don't do anything out of the ordinary. Especially in secondary school.


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30 Oct 2006, 4:30 pm

Wow, someone else who shares the same problems with me.

I'm 15, and for 6 years I've been bullied, socially rejected, ignored, misintepreted, and "ganged up on".

I don't have true friends, but have aqquaintaces or loose friends you can call them.

I've been bullied through NTs (the proper name for non-aspies) misunderstanding of me.

The bullying stopped now, but it's mainly social rejection because I don't give feedback or talk in the bond of friends. This is because through past experience, I'm either too quiet, or talkative, and whatever I've said is some how "out of order" and considered "weird", so I needn't bother anymore.

If NT Bonding won't work, why not bond with Aspies?

I know how you feel, and I'm younger than you. :wink:



Topher
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30 Oct 2006, 6:13 pm

Alternative wrote:
Wow, someone else who shares the same problems with me.

I'm 15, and for 6 years I've been bullied, socially rejected, ignored, misintepreted, and "ganged up on".

I don't have true friends, but have aqquaintaces or loose friends you can call them.

I've been bullied through NTs (the proper name for non-aspies) misunderstanding of me.

The bullying stopped now, but it's mainly social rejection because I don't give feedback or talk in the bond of friends. This is because through past experience, I'm either too quiet, or talkative, and whatever I've said is some how "out of order" and considered "weird", so I needn't bother anymore.

If NT Bonding won't work, why not bond with Aspies?

I know how you feel, and I'm younger than you. :wink:


Thank you for the reply, that ment a lot to read. Im trying to bond with some Aspies on here and i hope it works, a lot of past experiences you have had i share. Im close to just not bothering to talk to NT people my own age anymore