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beckym
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22 Feb 2012, 2:37 am

I've just recently been diagnosed with aspergers, I would really love someone to talk to that also has it. For support , etc. Preferably those who chose at some point to attempt to conform to society & it's standards. Also, in the age range of 18-30.



hale_bopp
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22 Feb 2012, 4:10 am

Be prepared to be absolutely spammed with private messages from guys desperate for an attractive GF.



MXH
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22 Feb 2012, 4:47 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Be prepared to be absolutely spammed with private messages from guys desperate for an attractive GF.


Very true. I would have recomended that you would have browsed through the forum and found those who you can connect with and approach them to talk in private messages instead of this.



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22 Feb 2012, 5:26 am

hale_bopp wrote:
Be prepared to be absolutely spammed with private messages from guys desperate for an attractive GF.

Not quite, guys are desperate for any GF, take note of all of the desperados that have posted here wanting a GF. A few have said that they have to be attractive, others just want one.
Besides maybe the OP wants to just talk to these people so she can cope better rather than dating someone as that wouldn't solve the issue in the first place.


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MXH
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22 Feb 2012, 5:39 am

PastFixations wrote:
Besides maybe the OP wants to just talk to these people so she can cope better rather than dating someone as that wouldn't solve the issue in the first place.

Im quite sure thats just what OP wants. Not sure its what shell get out of this.



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22 Feb 2012, 5:48 am

PastFixations wrote:
Besides maybe the OP wants to just talk to these people so she can cope better rather than dating someone as that wouldn't solve the issue in the first place.


That ain't what she's gonna get.
Not here. Aspie guys who can't get a GF want a foot in the door.

Although I do wish her all the best and hope she manages to deal with the spam ok.

OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way.



MCalavera
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22 Feb 2012, 7:22 am

Facepalming this thread.



Wolfheart
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22 Feb 2012, 7:27 am

hale_bopp wrote:
That ain't what she's gonna get.
Not here. Aspie guys who can't get a GF want a foot in the door.

Although I do wish her all the best and hope she manages to deal with the spam ok.

OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way.


I agree but there are dangers of going out to a nightclub, there are people that date rape and rape girls or exploit them, she is probably safer on here talking to guys. Besides you can't judge every guy on spectrum based on a few experiences you've had or seen with them, there are people that aren't on the spectrum with bad intentions or motives.



Grisha
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22 Feb 2012, 9:04 am

hale_bopp wrote:
OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way.


That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this.



Pilgrim_NY
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22 Feb 2012, 9:40 am

Someone is trying 2 make a fool of all of us and check our responce :wink:



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22 Feb 2012, 9:41 am

Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way.


That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this.


I think it's a negative generalization or at least an unfair one to males on spectrum, I don't know what the rate is for domestic violence and abuse for people on the spectrum but it's unfair to generalize. I don't think there's any data to support the idea of a person with AS being more violent than a person in the general population.



MXH
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22 Feb 2012, 9:43 am

Wolfheart wrote:
Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way.


That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this.


I think it's a negative generalization or at least an unfair one to males on spectrum, I don't know what the rate is for domestic violence and abuse for people on the spectrum but it's unfair to generalize. I don't think there's any data to support the idea of a person with AS being more violent than a person in the general population.


I agree but she has the valid point that likely the people that will try and chat the OP up arent going to be ones just wanting to be friendly



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22 Feb 2012, 9:59 am

MXH wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way.


That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this.


I think it's a negative generalization or at least an unfair one to males on spectrum, I don't know what the rate is for domestic violence and abuse for people on the spectrum but it's unfair to generalize. I don't think there's any data to support the idea of a person with AS being more violent than a person in the general population.


I agree but she has the valid point that likely the people that will try and chat the OP up arent going to be ones just wanting to be friendly


Perhaps not but neither are a gang of men in a nightclub or bar going to have an innocent motive, they aren't going to be thinking about making daisy chains and having tea parties with her. The only difference is that an NT can be more deceptive and and are better at manipulating those around them whereas people on the spectrum are less likely to take advantage.

However I can understand what Hale is saying to an extent, many men on here are less experienced and might not realize the boundaries and social rules when it comes to dating or they could act in passive aggressive manner, however it's wrong to assume that those behaviors are exclusively restricted to AS, that's through social conditioning, misunderstanding and a lack of dating, not AS itself.

I'm sure there are plenty of other records and crimes that have no relation to AS or people on the spectrum involving domestic violence because their girlfriend or wife didn't put out or their wife wasn't faithful or responsive.



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22 Feb 2012, 10:07 am

Wolfheart wrote:
MXH wrote:
Wolfheart wrote:
Grisha wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
OP- the only advice I can give you is to be careful. A lot of aspie men can be extremely romantically obsessive and violent when they don't get their own way.


That's a very dramatic, blanket statement: I think you're obligated to explain why you believe this.


I think it's a negative generalization or at least an unfair one to males on spectrum, I don't know what the rate is for domestic violence and abuse for people on the spectrum but it's unfair to generalize. I don't think there's any data to support the idea of a person with AS being more violent than a person in the general population.


I agree but she has the valid point that likely the people that will try and chat the OP up arent going to be ones just wanting to be friendly


Perhaps not but neither are a gang of men in a nightclub or bar going to have an innocent motive, they aren't going to be thinking about making daisy chains and having tea parties with her. The only difference is that an NT can be more deceptive and and are better at manipulating those around them whereas people on the spectrum are less likely to take advantage.

However I can understand what Hale is saying to an extent, many men on here are less experienced and might not realize the boundaries and social rules when it comes to dating or they could act in passive aggressive manner, however it's wrong to assume that those behaviors are exclusively restricted to AS, that's through social conditioning, misunderstanding and a lack of dating, not AS itself.

I'm sure there are plenty of other records and crimes that have no relation to AS or people on the spectrum involving domestic violence because their girlfriend or wife didn't put out or their wife wasn't faithful or responsive.


I'm with you on this one, there seems to be this perception that any attractive woman who posts here is going to be bombarded with creepy messages - I have several female friends who have been here for quite some time and this hasn't happened to them nearly as often (if ever) as some people try to portray, and if it does, it's dealt with swiftly and decisively by the mods.

Once again, this is a very dramatic, inflammatory, and quite frankly insulting, claim - people who throw it out there are obligated to provide an explanation for their belief.



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22 Feb 2012, 10:52 am

beckym wrote:
I've just recently been diagnosed with aspergers, I would really love someone to talk to that also has it. For support , etc. Preferably those who chose at some point to attempt to conform to society & it's standards. Also, in the age range of 18-30.


To the OP: If you are just looking for someone to talk to, perhaps try the sub-forum "The Haven" instead of the "Love and Dating" one.



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22 Feb 2012, 11:04 am

MisterSpock wrote:
beckym wrote:
I've just recently been diagnosed with aspergers, I would really love someone to talk to that also has it. For support , etc. Preferably those who chose at some point to attempt to conform to society & it's standards. Also, in the age range of 18-30.


To the OP: If you are just looking for someone to talk to, perhaps try the sub-forum "The Haven" instead of the "Love and Dating" one.


And also the Social Skills and Making Friends forum.


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