i don't understand "acting" neurotypical

Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

Merculangelo
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 282
Location: Oklahoma City

17 Mar 2012, 10:21 pm

Some people talk about "acting" neurotypical. I don't understand this. If someone can act neurotypical, then what difficulty is there? Don't neurotypicals "act" all the time to get things they want?

If I could "act neurotypical" when ever I wanted, I would. I thought the whole characterization of Aspergers is that you try to act neurotypical and it just never works. Its not even a matter of getting tired of acting neurotypical, its that you keep acting not neurotypical without even realizing it, or realizing it too late.



Alexender
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jan 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,194
Location: wrongplanet

17 Mar 2012, 10:39 pm

A less severe form of autism, or it affects them in a way that isn't as obvious in some ways. If someone mimics, they just say what they know works, but not why it works. Thing is if you can act like a neurotypical then you are ACTING, which means not being yourself. I would not want to try to be a different person 24/7. I would say I seem like an odd person, not enough that people would immediately think I am autistic.


_________________
www.wrongplanet.net


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,181
Location: In my own little country

17 Mar 2012, 11:05 pm

I also don't get it, either. After acting NT at work for the entire summer last year, just for the worst of my fears to come true while wearing myself out doing so, I still don't get it.


_________________
The Family Schlager


Rhiannon0828
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 434

17 Mar 2012, 11:11 pm

I just acted neurotypical enough to pass all night. I did not want to seem different. The difference is that it took me a lot of concentrated effort to do something most people do naturaly. I am exausted and way overstimulated and it is not the same as being neurotypical by nature.


_________________
"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons; for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."


MisterSpock
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 549
Location: Manchester, UK

18 Mar 2012, 5:05 am

I have what I call mild Aspergers. I act NT to grease the social axles. It can be difficult personally, but often it gets better results.

If I acted myself to strangers, I'd probably still be able to function in society, but good jobs or relationships may elude me. I suppress impulses, try my hardest not to shrink away from interaction, and mimic things I've seen other people do (but only after some consideration).

An extract from my blog may help to explain a little:
"I’ve been told that small talk is the social grease, and although I don’t necessarily feel the benefits of it, it gives the illusion of being ‘normal’. It’s a shame, but some NTs might feel awkward around people who don’t conform, and an uncomfortable NT may be more difficult to interact with. So when someone says to me “it’s a right cold patch we’re having isn’t it?”, I don’t just say “yes” and move on, I try to say something like “well I hear it will get better by Monday”. Just that small stock sentence may illicit a smile from the other party, because there is that expected bit of social grease that tells them they’re not dealing with a psychopath, oddball, or any other type of weirdo. Okay, I still often come across as socially awkward by dint of inflection or odd pause lengths in conversation, but they appreciate it. Think of it like speaking bad French to a Frenchman – he might pick up on it, but will appreciate you trying."

In short, I think a decent effort makes it much easier to interact with NTs. Of course, people further along the spectrum will find this harder.



Sparx
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Oct 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,186

18 Mar 2012, 12:19 pm

I can't act NT, my anxieties get in the way.



Cash__
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2010
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,390
Location: Missouri

18 Mar 2012, 3:26 pm

I have never successfully acted normal. I have tried, but I just can't do it.


I wonder for those who claim they can act normal, is that their assesment of the situation? or have they had their acting normal successfully confimed by others?



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,278
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

18 Mar 2012, 3:41 pm

Cash__ wrote:
I have never successfully acted normal. I have tried, but I just can't do it.


I wonder for those who claim they can act normal, is that their assesment of the situation? or have they had their acting normal successfully confimed by others?


that is a very good question and I wonder the same thing.


_________________
Tis the time to melt the Ice.


lostgirl1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,418
Location: Ontario, Canada

18 Mar 2012, 4:02 pm

I don't really act like neurotypical people but I usually try to act neurotypical just to fit in. It's really basically just a play for me as soon as I step out of the house. I basically censor myself so I fit into society norms. Sometimes I do a good job at it and sometimes my anxiety takes over and I fail but I do try to act like a neurotypical person. When I'm at home it's a completely different story, that's probably why I love being at home after I get overstimulated by society.



Rhiannon0828
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 434

18 Mar 2012, 8:36 pm

I'm sure people still think I'm a little awkward and odd when I put on my best NT act. But most people can deal with a little awkward and odd. I definetely get a much better reception than me being plain, unadulterated me. There are some situations that are still worth it to put myself in where that would not work at all.


_________________
"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons; for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."


Merculangelo
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 282
Location: Oklahoma City

18 Mar 2012, 9:27 pm

I've been sick recently and had to cancel meeting with people and two of them said almost exactly the same thing in their e-mail reply, "I'm sorry you are not feeling well...". So I have determined that this is a standard polite reply and that people will take it very well, as I did. I just never thought to say that myself. Someone canceled a meeting with me just a couple weeks ago because they were sick, and I didn't say anything like that.

Now when I go to use this new knowledge, I wouldn't consider myself acting. I might not actually feel bad for them at that moment, but the words could also encase my regret that we cannot still meet and get the work done I wanted to get done. And if I don't feel bad for them I still have some intention of making sure they don't feel rejected by me. But this is easier in an e-mail.



Ai_Ling
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,891

19 Mar 2012, 2:54 am

I dont understand it terribly well either. I guess I'm since I'm mild, I've adapted my behavior enough so I come off as NT as long as I'm fairly comfortable with my settings. The only acting I do is a little at my job. The acting is very simple, I put on this quiet, polite, reserved persona towards the customers. I see the bits and pieces of acting amongst my coworkers. One of the managers who's a complete douche puts on this friendly laughter act which is so fake it completely creeps me out. I hate bagging for him.