Lost my Best Friend

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Everything was fine when I lived in the same town. But when I moved I'm the only one that keeps in contact.....she will answer "I'm sorry, I'll do better about messaging you." If I needed her in an emergency, she'd drop everything and be here. But she doesn't keep in contact even on a monthly basis. She has young children (mine are grown) and is married, and has a busy social life. It just leaves me SO LONELY....if I told her I needed her she'd probably stay in touch better.

But I want a friend to LIKE ME and stay in contact because they enjoy my company. Same with any "old and dear friends" I looked up...I am the only one that ever initiates contact, so I'm going to stop getting in touch with them.

I know the solution is to make new friends......1. I don't have a car, so I really can't go anywhere right now. There's no public transportation where I live. 2. It's so hard to do!

Anyone else feel the same way?

my best friend moved away recently, to a different state.

even when he lived 10 minutes away, 90% of our communication was from phone/internet. but he is busy with his new life over here and i am busy with my same life over here.

we talk a few times a month but not always.

The only two persons I could call my friends (because there is no one else that could even come 10 miles close), which I almost never really get to see or speak to them, treat me with condescension, not because they are being rude but more like because they don't know what to respond to me. I suppose they are not really friends but "compatible" acquaintances. I really have no friends and I like it that ways, NT are too strange. Lately I am trying something I read on an article about Aspies about "Dating one self"

I apologize in advance because I'm often the person on the other side of this situation.

Folks who stick around as friends of mine know that I'm *ludicrously* bad at keeping in touch, but I don't mean any harm by it. And for some reason it's always a factor of distance. Calling a friend of mine to see how she's doing was no big deal when she lived a kilometer away. Now, she's 11 timezones away and it doesn't occur to me that she's missing-missing the way it seems to hit many people. It's not that I won't make time to speak with her whenever she calls, or that I won't watch her back even from half a day away. It just doesn't occur to me to sense her absense as a lack, or to otherwise check up on her. I guess I presume that if she needs help she'll certainly get in touch.



In the absence of any other information, I can only speculate that distance makes it hard, and that you're not doing anything particularly wrong that keeps them from reaching out on their own.

That would explain it....

I know I"m a good friend, a good listener, and always willing to help out (to the right people, I've had to learn not to be so giving in general.)

Once people move away they rarely keep in touch.

Same happens with me also....and so i decided not to keep in touch with them also.
even i cut off social contacts...tit for tat

but that makes me very lonely