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Dfect
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20 Mar 2012, 12:05 am

So basically once I get past "Hi, how's it going?" and maybe a comment about the weather, my mind goes blank. I just don't know what the f**k to say most of the time.

I've watched NT's converse, their conversations flow so fluently they make it look easy. Hell, some of them find it hard to STOP talking.

If I'm on Ecstasy or Speed I can hold conversations fine, so the ability does exist, it just needs to be activated. But I can't exactly speed every day, those drugs f**k your brain up.

I need some kind of system.

Has anyone here overcome this issue?



nostromo
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20 Mar 2012, 3:31 am

Dfect wrote:
So basically once I get past "Hi, how's it going?" and maybe a comment about the weather, my mind goes blank. I just don't know what the f**k to say most of the time.

I've watched NT's converse, their conversations flow so fluently they make it look easy. Hell, some of them find it hard to STOP talking.

If I'm on Ecstasy or Speed I can hold conversations fine, so the ability does exist, it just needs to be activated. But I can't exactly speed every day, those drugs f**k your brain up.

I need some kind of system.

Has anyone here overcome this issue?

Practise. When I was younger I was very quiet and had the same problem you describe, had no idea what to say, or why I should do so, and..mouth wouldn't work. I just observed a lot.
But one of the foolproof ways I've found to get a conversation going if your not sure of things to SAY is to ASK them about themselves. About their jobs, about what they do, about their family, what they like doing etc etc. Their answers will reveal details that you can ask more questions on, then you can talk about yourself by introducing something relevant to the thing being discussed at that point. If you already know them then you can ask about whats going on with them and so forth. It can sound a bit boring, but generally I always find everyone has a story, and everyone is different. And it is good practise.
Can you listen OK?



riot_gun
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20 Mar 2012, 4:36 am

For me the trick has actually been to get other people to start asking me questions. I'm horrible at volunteering information but if the other person asks questions I can happily talk about myself enough to get through a conversation. Just as long as I don't have to then start asking questions, because I have no idea what to ask.



nostromo
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20 Mar 2012, 5:09 am

riot_gun wrote:
For me the trick has actually been to get other people to start asking me questions. I'm horrible at volunteering information but if the other person asks questions I can happily talk about myself enough to get through a conversation. Just as long as I don't have to then start asking questions, because I have no idea what to ask.

I just fall back on rote..things that are personal but not prying e.g.: "What do you do, where do you live" etc.



namaste
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20 Mar 2012, 8:35 am

nostromo wrote:
riot_gun wrote:
For me the trick has actually been to get other people to start asking me questions. I'm horrible at volunteering information but if the other person asks questions I can happily talk about myself enough to get through a conversation. Just as long as I don't have to then start asking questions, because I have no idea what to ask.

I just fall back on rote..things that are personal but not prying e.g.: "What do you do, where do you live" etc.

i dont have much to ask since i dont like to bring up personal topics
if the person is talkative then it makes my work easy :P


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AngryDesiDoughboy
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20 Mar 2012, 10:10 am

The best advice I can give is to actively think about the other person. That, and avoiding monologuing or 'downloading' as I have heard it called.