Having some problems with one person from FB

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MissConstrue
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13 Mar 2012, 2:21 pm

I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice or feedback.

I've been having difficulties with one member on FB who's a Muslim. And before I post anything I want everyone to know I have several friends on FB who identify themselves as Muslim and are the nicest people. This would be no different than if this person were a Christian. However this person in particular, I'm having trouble with. He's been very nice and has acted generous with some of his feedbacks. I made it clear to him, in the nicest way possible that I respect all religious faiths, each to their own, etc...etc. He knows I'm an atheist and has never called me names or told me what a horrible person I was. However, as of lately, he's been asking if I read the quran and making long long speeches about how great Islam is. I'm never sure how to respond to him. I haven't read all of the quran, but just like the bible there are aspects I like and there are ones that deeply disturb me. I don't like to get into arguments because I'm just not great at debating and I would rather use my FB to get to know and make friends with people. Anyhow I told him, I respect that you're a Muslim, it's just not something I believe in. Then he gets into these long debates, (nothing mean) about his scientific proof about their being an Allah. I don't know what to say because I don't want to come off mean or confront him as if he were absolutely wrong. I just tell him this world is full of people who believe in many things, maybe you're right who knows. Sometimes he'll say stuff like "Bless you" and "May Allah guide you." Now lately he's been posting videos and signs on my wall with Muslim teachings and ideologies. His ideolgies, I strongly disgaree with because they're a little too extreme imo. He hates Israel and while I've not been fond with what Israel has done, I don't for the life of me believe every Jewish person or Israeli is bad. I've tried telling him this that violence begets violence in the best way possible but he has the attitude that the only good people are the ones that're brainwashed.

As of lately I've been sort of trying to keep my distance, not responding to the stuff he puts all over my walls. I hid some of the stuff from my timeline. Now he keeps sending me messages asking if I'm angry with him and that he doesn't want us to be enemies. He says he doesn't have many friends. I don't really know what to do. Usually when I get a religious nut, I unfriend them but only if they get hateful with me. I tell them like it is but I try and do it in the most nicest way possible depending on their attitude toward me and my lack of beliefs. On one hand I guess I could see why he can't help what he does, he intensely believes what he's been brought up with. On the otherhand I feel like telling him, could you stop? I don't believe in Allah and these are the reasons why...." You see where I'm getting at right? I really don't want to go into debate with him and I've told him this many times.

So here is my question, should I unfriend this guy? I really don't want to but I don't know what else to do. It would seem mean mean on my part especially given how he's been nice otherwise. I usually use forums not FB to debate and I really don't do a lot of debating. Again I have a couple of other friends who are Muslims but don't do this. So I'm not targeting him out just because he's Muslim. I just simply don't want to come off like a biggot. Any suggestions?


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namaste
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13 Mar 2012, 3:04 pm

one of my office colleague who is a muslim also starts ranting about his religion whenever he gets a chance
he came to my house once and dropped some arabic script he knows im a hindu and i didnt like he did that
i just change the topic whenever he starts about islamic and muslim stuff

you could just keep deleting his post and then when he understands that you are not interested in religious discussions he will stop
pestering you....silence can be powerful so dont reply to his messages he will get the point


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Tequila
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13 Mar 2012, 3:06 pm

Guy's a nutter. Block him and have done with it and Inshallah he'll have more sense in future. Guess not though. ;)



i_wanna_blue
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13 Mar 2012, 5:11 pm

Not everyone who has belief in his/her faith is nuts or an extremist. I know that's how you feel MC. As a Muslim I would like to teach others about my faith too, but I guess it's something a very shy person like myself finds difficult. There are a lot of misconceptions about Islam, and perhaps he feels you are both friends and he has a better opportunity to help explain these misconceptions to you. But he has no right to force them on you, and I think you need to be straightforward and tell him to back off if he continues to make you feel uncomfortable. Most of my best friends have been non Muslims and we sometimes feel like convincing the other about our faiths. But there is a line that needs to be drawn. Sometimes people see it as a way of helping someone by sharing what they have, but it can come across as too strong, and when it does, pointing it out is the best solution.

I know you won't be harsh towards him, so tell him he is making you feel uncomfortable and that you would rather converse over something else. If he still persists, then perhaps it's better to unfriend him or block him (or whatever works on FB).

And yes Inshaallah things will work for the best.



MissConstrue
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13 Mar 2012, 6:01 pm

Thanks guys. I realize this is a sensitive topic and i_wanna_blue, I was thinking of you when I brought it up. I love learning about other people's religions and faiths so never be shy about educating...there is a difference. With this guy though, I don't know how to put it in the right words without sounding offensive. He's a bit extreme in my opinion and there are elements in his ideology that I disagree with. He has every right to his beliefs and the education aspect is sort of why we became friends in the first place. However he's taken this a degree further and like your extreme Christian, can't understand why I won't at least choose the path he's taken. I respect his path and even though I have often been curious, it does not mean I'm going to convert to his religion or be enemies just because I simply don't share his beliefs. He's sort of made this into a black and white issue which I really don't feel like getting into. I haven't unfriended him, I'm leaving that up to him however if it gets out of hand and he belittles me which he hasn't then I can't see any other alternative than do what may be necessary. I really don't feel comfortable confronting him about why I don't agree with his beliefs.


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i_wanna_blue
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14 Mar 2012, 6:59 am

Let's hope you can still remain friends without this issue coming into it. I tend to stay away from debates myself. It shows a good side of you, that you're still willing to remain friends with him for as you say this is a sensitive issue, and sometimes emotions can influence us negatively. I hope it all works out. :)



The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Mar 2012, 5:08 pm

Oh dear, I agree with Tequila.

I am much cooler to chat with btw.



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15 Mar 2012, 11:48 am

It shouldn't matter if he's muslim, christian, atheist or any of the above. You've made it perfectly clear to him that your religious beliefs are going to remain the same and have asked him several times to back off. If he can't take the hint, something has to change somewhere.

I know alot of religious folk really love their religion and want to spread it to their friends, but it isn't fair to you. Especially since you know what you believe in and don't wish to change that.


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