Aspies who've 100% stealthed their AS: your experience?

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as408
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13 Mar 2012, 7:46 pm

So far I've managed to achieve semi-stealth. One would have to hang around me for awhile in order to notice.

How is your life before and after you achieved full stealth?
When you finally achieved 100% stealth, how did reality match with expectations?
Did you discover any amount of "this isn't what it's cracked up to be"?
Did you encounter increased hostility from fellow AS'ers?
Are there any drawbacks I should be aware of?



muslimmetalhead
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13 Mar 2012, 7:56 pm

Stealthed? Explain.


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nebrets
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13 Mar 2012, 8:10 pm

I can blend in during most situations. This is rather stressful behavior to maintain, and it mostly involves not talking a lot. In counseling my behavior has been described as 'over compensating', as I pay for it in more break downs later, increased over all anxiety, and more likely to become depressed (see the anxiety).

It is nice to to be looked at as "different" or to hear people commenting about me behind my back. But then many NTs do not believe me when I tell them I am an aspie. It does make it harder to ask for accommodation so that I do not overcompensate. Some people think that because I am capable of acting "normal" that I should not need help, that I should act "normal" all the time, and that it is healthy for me to do so.



Apple_in_my_Eye
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13 Mar 2012, 8:15 pm

Exhaustion.



as408
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13 Mar 2012, 8:22 pm

muslimmetalhead wrote:
Stealthed? Explain.

Means your AS is 100% hidden from other people. Nobody can detect your AS.



nat4200
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13 Mar 2012, 8:43 pm

Redacted



Last edited by nat4200 on 21 Apr 2012, 1:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

Pandora_Box
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14 Mar 2012, 3:09 am

Tired all the time. So worn out. Keeping my internal filter on is hard enough, and now you're trying to tell me I need to go into stealth mode. Just no...absolutely no.



as408
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14 Mar 2012, 7:07 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
Tired all the time. So worn out. Keeping my internal filter on is hard enough, and now you're trying to tell me I need to go into stealth mode. Just no...absolutely no.


I'd never say you need to. I just wanted to hear from aspies/auties who've done so.



MjrMajorMajor
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14 Mar 2012, 10:24 am

I was in "stealth mode" unconsciously for most of my life. I have had panic attacks and meltdowns because of it. I try to make efforts to be more open now.

Pandora_Box wrote:
Tired all the time. So worn out. Keeping my internal filter on is hard enough, and now you're trying to tell me I need to go into stealth mode. Just no...absolutely no.


This is where I am now ^



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14 Mar 2012, 1:59 pm

It's... taxing.
I can keep up with other people, and if it's a good day they don't suspect anything, but if caught in a bad mood I don't bother that much, and come off as shy or even rude. Close friends already know I'm a bit quirky, but none of them knows enough about asperger's to put two and two together.
And yeah, after a week of socializing I usually take a day off and don't leave the house.



Pandora_Box
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14 Mar 2012, 7:07 pm

as408 wrote:
Pandora_Box wrote:
Tired all the time. So worn out. Keeping my internal filter on is hard enough, and now you're trying to tell me I need to go into stealth mode. Just no...absolutely no.


I'd never say you need to. I just wanted to hear from aspies/auties who've done so.


I know, but it was more of an expression than it was to mean that I thought you wanted me to go into stealth mode.



DogGirlSaydee
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14 Mar 2012, 11:27 pm

I agree, it is ridiculously exhausting. Depending on how much "social-filtering" I've done throughout the day, my normal after-school routine looks like: Go home, take several Advil, sleep until dinnertime.



Jean_Descole
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15 Mar 2012, 1:24 am

Shatbat wrote:
It's... taxing.
I can keep up with other people, and if it's a good day they don't suspect anything, but if caught in a bad mood I don't bother that much, and come off as shy or even rude. Close friends already know I'm a bit quirky, but none of them knows enough about asperger's to put two and two together.
And yeah, after a week of socializing I usually take a day off and don't leave the house.


This. I usually don't tell people I have Asperger's and very rarely comes up in conversations. Usually when it does, most people mention that they didn't notice, which I honestly like to hear. Part of it, I think, is people think I'm quirky because I study physics or because I'm around a lot of anime geeks, and thus, few people actually connect while I'm weird. But by the end of the week, I usually just need a day off where I'm not studying or socializing. I need my lone time, gosh dang it.



GHB
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15 Mar 2012, 3:08 pm

On a daily basis i try to stay at 65-85% stealth lol.

I tried for so long to mimic other people that im not sure i could ever be 0% stealth. At the same time i would never want to be 100% even if it was possible.

I have only told maybe 5 people and it was always women. No one ever seems to put two and two together which im ok with. I only had one co worker ask if i was autistic and i quickly told him no but i secretly was happy he noticed. He was also an awesome salesman who really picks up on people's behaviors.

When i would go out with my friends to bars or clubs it would be extremely draining since i always try to be on guard. It doesn't help that that kind of enviroment provides me no outlet to think or do my own thing.



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17 Mar 2012, 6:07 am

Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
Exhaustion.


Suffering from bouts of chronic fatigue (and having to subsequently withdraw from public life) on a regular basis.


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aspi-rant
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17 Mar 2012, 6:15 am

sunshower wrote:
Apple_in_my_Eye wrote:
Exhaustion.


Suffering from bouts of chronic fatigue (and having to subsequently withdraw from public life) on a regular basis.


+1

resulting a total burn out at age 44 still trying to recover from 6 years later...